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Question about my girlfriend

I have a wonderful girlfriend who I have been dating for some time now. I am recently diagnosed and she says she wants to stay with me. I gave her the option to leave but we are both so in love and she does not want to go.  How can I keep her safe? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  I know don't share personal items etc. I have seen some couples where one finds out they have hepatitis and the other is negative after decades
1)I have seen differing info on the need for condoms, some say it is not necessary in monogamous couples, however we will be using them to be on the safe side.
Is there anything wrong with open mouth kissing? Obviously not if either of us are bleeding, but in general?
How about oral sex? I have read briefly on this and it appears to be safe? Apparently the virus is not in semen, or presemen?
Can we ever have children without me passing this on to anyone?
Any advice on how to keep my girlfriend safe would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks guys
26 Responses
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Avatar universal
I've been reading your posts and I think it is admirable that you are concerned for your girlfriend. I have been married 21 yrs and unknowingly contracted Hep C in 2003. My husband and I are like any normal child-bearing-age couple and did not have protected sex until 2007 when I was diagnosed. He did get tested and was negative. I had an active viral load during this time and we shared razors, nail clippers, and tweezers.

Although anything is possible, it is highly unlikely Hep C will be passed during a sex act. There has to be a "perfect storm" of events. The "donor" has to bleed contaminated blood (meaning, if a person has an undetectable viral load -as in those who've contracted Hep C but have fought it off and gained antibodies) and the "recipient" has to have a break in their skin that is directly exposed to the donor's blood. Even with health care workers who are frequently exposed to blood, less than 2% of those acquire Hep C or HIV.
Just from personal experience, I think a partner with a compromised immune system would be more at risk of acquiring Hep C than one who had healthy and strong immune system.

I also think that, the higher the viral load, the more potent the contamination risk. I must go on record stating this theory is simply my own from years of observing others and is not based on any formal studies that I know of.

To protect yourself and others, don't share your personal hygeine instruments, wear a condom if "gorilla sex" is on your agenda for the evening, and don't donate blood or blood products (as if that needs to be said..) Be aware viral counts vary within the individual -my belief is it escalates when your immune system is being challenged by something else -and it does not denote how fast the Hep C is progressing or how much damage it is doing. I know several folks who've had Hep C for decades and their liver biopsies indicate minimal damage.

I hope this helps, and I really hope you are one of the 20% that has spontaneously cleared the virus. Remember though, just because you have the antibodies, doesn't mean you are immune to getting Hep C. ~MM
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264121 tn?1313029456
I don't know of anyone on the forum who has given the virus to a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend in all the time I have been here (since 2007) - or gotten it that way, either.  There is a lot of traffic through the forum.  It's not spread sexually like HIV (and even HIV can't be spread by kissing) - it's spread by direct blood to blood contact.
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Avatar universal
@ will. I currently have no one to talk to and my mind is racing. I can't talk to my friends or my parents, I want to know how to keep my girlfriend safe at all costs, and I just like hearing about svr and other people's encouraging stories. I am just askin gall kinds of different questions, I have not left my home for a few days and am upset and my mind is racing. I do not know what you are missing.
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1253246 tn?1332073310
???? Im totally lost and its not the brain fog!!! IM me  PLEASE !!!!!! ?????
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Avatar universal
this was posted 1 hour after you say it was just confirmed for the second time yourHCV by phone  and after a"phone call that you don"t need a biopsy   and what you are asking about is not  Why don"t I need a biopsy??? you don"t ask about  us  should I not see a specialist to discuss my disease??? what you ask is about semem  saliva  to go along with your other questions about   "being able to get a Mortage ?? or insurance?? or can I kiss ??///you have asked  a total of 13 members about their views on SVR and how they are doing??

Am I missing something here??
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Avatar universal
Thanks guys, I have seen mixed answers online to this but- hcv cannot be transmitted in semen, saliva etc without the presence of blood can it? Is it only blood to blood?
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Avatar universal
I can understand you going through all these questions in your head as you seem convinced you have HCV.  From our side of things, we've had a number of people land on this forum who have thought the same thing only to find out otherwise and all that agonizing and grief was unnecessary - as well as the support and energy into helping someone deal with a disease they don't actually have.  Some questions to help settle you down, fair enough.  Beyond that...when you get the results of that PCR and if you do indeed have a viral load and a genotype to go with it, I assure you you'll find support here to help you sort through your reality.  

On that note, hopefully your doc doesn't postpone your appointment again however I'd simply call and ask what is your viral load and genotype.

Trish
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Avatar universal
Aug /14    10.49 pm
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Avatar universal
FlGuy:  "In order for you to have been diagnosed you must have the results of a viral load test and a genotype test.  What, exactly, are those results?  Until you know the answer to that question you have not been diagnosed. "

Exactly.  All the questions and the energy going into the questions is moot until that's complete.  In the meantime, the energy could be going in directions that are more productive.
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Avatar universal
The only association between viral load and transmission I have seen is with vertical transmission - giving birth. I believe that a mother with a high viral load has a greater risk of transmitting to the newborn than does a woman with a low VL.
I have not seen any VL/transmission association with regard to heterosexual sex.

Mike
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Avatar universal
I do have a silly question though. My partner of many years is also negative. We're still together but when I told him he was pensive about having unsafe sex. His point being he was wondering if it could be more contagious having a higher viral load then a lower vial load. I didn't have an answer for that. I respect his fears...
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1652596 tn?1342011626
i have hcv for 35 years.  i've been with my husband for 30 years.  we have been fine after all this time.  he was tested and he's negative.  my son's are also negative.  good luck with your life and remember it is only transferred thru blood.  best wishes.  belle
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96938 tn?1189799858
Advice for keeping your girlfriend safe:

The best thing for you to do, relative to your girlfriend, is to maintain a complete and total physical separation by at least two feet. No hand-holding, no touching, no sexual contact, no kissing.  You must become observe carnal abstinence by thinking of a sexual turn-off thought whenever the hint of an urge enter your mind.  

In order for you to have been diagnosed you must have the results of a viral load test and a genotype test.  What, exactly, are those results?  Until you know the answer to that question you have not been diagnosed.
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Avatar universal
Question for you guys-  should my girlfriend get tested? Or is it unnecessary? We have never shared razors, personal items and will definitely not now, have kissed many times obviously, never once had unprotected sex or sex with any cuts or anything.  We have been very safe prior to dx and will continue to be.. Any input guys? I know sexual transmission is low in heterosexuals without condoms therefore we should be in the clear , yes?
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Avatar universal
so just for clarification, oral sex is not considered a risky thing to do if neither of us are bleeding or anything? my penis is a bit chaffed sometimes, but never open sores or blood.. i just want to be on the safe side and protect her.. thanks guys
and i want to make sure kissing/making out is fine as well. its taking a lot to wrap my head around this
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Avatar universal
thank you so much eureka, i guess it just takes some time to get used to not feeling like a leper or whatever... this forum has been a huge help so far i just want to keep her safe.
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419309 tn?1326503291
As your moniker suggests, you need to "let it go."

Even if you were both actively bleeding, the risk would still be low.
The best thing you can do is trust in the fact that your girlfriend is willing to take the risk (and keep in mind, again, the risk of transmission is LOW.)  It will take you some time to adjust to all this, but you are not a teeming mass of infection just waiting to jump out at her, you know.  Maybe a teeming mass of something else :), but casual, sexual, and topical contact with blood does NOT cause transmission.

Unless you plan on spending your life in a full-body condom, you're going to have some anxiety about giving it to others... but, it goes with the territory, but don't let it consume you.  To be blunt: I've shared toothbrushes, nail clippers, everything BUT needles with my husband; I've cleaned up many bloody injuries with open paper cuts on my hands; I've probably -- no, definitely -- swallowed blood on more than one occasion... and I repeat, I am HCV negative.  (I should be a poster-child for the new campaign: HCV is NOT an STD).  Anyway, there's not much else I can think of that might help you worry less, other than :  WORRY LESS.  Enjoy the relationship and the fact that she cares enough about you to take the risk.  

And, in the end if she WERE one of the few to contract it, cure rates are improving everyday, and it's no longer an "incurable" disease... put your faith in the heavens, and count your blessings that you've found someone willing to share everything with you.
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Avatar universal
it does help, thank you eureka.. just one question.. tonight we were kissing and i bite my tongue a little bit earlier today and it wasn't bleeding or anything but it was a little bit reddish, kissing is not a risk whatsoever is it if you both aren't actively bleeding? i am just having trouble getting used to this whole thing since they say don't share toothbrushes.  is fingering a risk for her if i have a hangnail??
this is driving me crazy
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419309 tn?1326503291
The risk of transmission among heterosexual couples who are monogamous is extremely low.  Because hcv is a blood-borne infection, putting your girlfriend at risk would be doing things like sharing needles, sharing razors... not sharing intimacy. Rough sex could be a possible risk, but it sounds as if you feel quite tenderly towards your girlfriend :).

My husband had active hcv during 23 of our 25 years together (unknown to us until recent years so we took no precautions whatsoever), we have a 23 year old son, and both my son and I are negative for hcv... hopefully that sets your mind at rest.
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Avatar universal
i have an appointment later this week, but several samples were taken originally and i guess they rechecked it with a pcr test and it is confirmed, i called today.. i do not know any other info yet.
tell me something guys, is it wrong for me to even stay with my girlfriend? i am so scared of putting her at risk i feel like i do not deserve her and i am just being selfish.. i really need some advice i have no one to talk to about this, i am scared to tell my parents
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Avatar universal
Can I ask what information you were given that tells you it's official?  You would have been given a viral load in numbers of some kind and hopefully not a 2nd antibody test?
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Avatar universal
thanks guys, i find out it is official today... i am very upset but i saw it coming.
tell me something guys, is it wrong for me to even stay with my girlfriend? i am so scared of putting her at risk i feel like i do not deserve her and i am just being selfish..
Helpful - 0
1431734 tn?1421011671
you have posted some great questions and as i expected have gotten clear and thorough answers. i am glad the girlfriend will stick by u. this is a one step at a time process. no need to panic but knowledge is power. keep learning and questioning and everything will work out for u. you will have a bright career as a teacher and likely live a long life. all the best, babs
ps no need to tell many people as there is an unfortunate stigma attached to hcv. please tell gf to keep mum and u should be closed mouthed for now til u have more info. even if it turns out u need to treat; be VERY careful who u tell. u cannot take it back once it is out and some folks are not very enlightened. go slow laitsgo!
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Avatar universal
UNTIL you clearly know your status.....you can use a condom with your girlfriend if you want to but it's not necessary - case in point is the monogamous couples who go years having unprotected sex and the partner remains negative.  There is no prohibition on oral sex or open mouth kissing - those same monogamous couples are same case in point.  Don't do any kind of sexual activity that could lead to bleeding on your part or tearing on her part and exchange of your blood into her bloodstream without using protection.  Just use common sense.  It's not so easy to transmit Hep C, it has to be blood into bloodstream.  

Hope that helps you to breathe a little for now until you are crystal clear on your actual status.

Trish
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