Something That's Eating at Me

I couldn't decide where to post this so I thought here would be best since this is as much an anxiety related to Hep issue as anything else.

I was dx with CHB about 10 years ago.  I was told at that time that I was a "healthy carrier" and that my liver function was "normal".  This continued to be the case for the next 8 years.  I now know that healthy carrier is a very misleading term and going back over my labs I also can see that my ALTs were not really stone-cold normal.  At times they are decidedly not normal and have climbed as high as 69.

Anyway, during the time of blissful ignorance I continued to indulge in the occasional use of alcohol.  But occasional I mean it.  About 2 ounces of wine every two weeks or less with the rare full glass of wine or a cocktail when out to dinner or something.  I don't want to minimize it but I really can't drink much.  I think I have that Asian trait of lacking the enzyme that breaks down alcohol.  The upside is that I can't drink much and the downside is that my liver probably had to work harder to break it down.

During this time I also had three children and extended-nursed all of them so right there you can cut about about 6 years of time when I would not have been able to drink at all.

I'm wondering, honestly, how much damage y'all imagine I did to my liver with the drinking before I decided to accept the fact that I had Hep B and should get educated about it which was spurred on by some incidents that created very serious doubts in my mind about my doctor's competence.  Turns out I was right to be suspicious.  I could just shake myself for not getting on it sooner but I SO wanted to believe that I was "healthy" and "normal"...know what I mean?

Thanks for any replies.

[Andiamo1]

It is impossible for anyone to know how much damage you have;  we all react to the variables differently.  The only way to know is to have a liver biopsy.  They are not as bad as you think.  It is mostly boring, since you have to lie still for a few hours.

You should see a hepatologist and get a professional opinion.

Take care and enjoy the weekend!

Eric

[Trish77]

You're beating yourself up over things that you can't change.  You did the best you could with what you knew at the time and you made the decisions that made sense to you for that point in time.  I think you lived healthy and not unreasonably and while some alcohol is going to be worse than no alcohol, you didn't go crazy with it. You are not alone in that.  You are not the only person with Hep (B or C) that had the occasional drink.  Me included.  

Look forward, Zelly.  That's all you have control over.  What you do from this day forward. It's worth looking back only to learn how to live better in the future. Then move on once you've learned what you need to.  Anything else is energy wasted on things you cannot change and energy you need to deal with your present.  

Clear your mind and clear your conscience.  Peace to you, Zelly.

Trish  

[meki]

Zelly --- uhm.... My hepatologist and GI said that an OCCASIONAL glass or two of wine - etc...  Has been shown to cause no damage.

However - I don't have any articles to prove or disprove that.

I do however - have the occasional glass of champagne or wine... In fact last night - I had 2 and a half flutes of champagne - and have a headache for it right now. GRRR.

I've NEVER been a drinker at all - we're talking maybe 2 bottles of wine a year total... Or maybe a mixed drink (think margarita) if I go out with the girls - but I always tell the bartender to go light on the alcohol.

My main reason for not drinking alcohol - is because I HAVE --- that stupid gene called the MASSIVE HANGOVER gene.. LMAO...

Whenever I drink I get a killer headache - so it's just not worth it to me.

But in my family - there are some instances where you just can't get away from drinking - unless you want to **** everyone off. *weddings - christenings - baptisms - etc.* Even if it's just a small sip of whatever they are passing around.

LOL

During TX --- I did not drink at all. I faked it - put the glass down and filled up on gingerale.

Now --- well - I don't think for me --- the glass or two will hurt --- as long as I'm not doing it every single week or even every single night.

But for some folks - it could be a very bad thing.

As to where you are darling --- I wouldn't think that you had drank "THAT" much in your lifetime - with the descriptors you have given.

And you have to give your body more credit than that...

I mean - you weren't out there and chugging a kegger or anything... LOL - but your body is still functioning - and well - one or two glasses is going to have been processed fairly normally --- at least I THINK.

Now if you had done that on a daily basis -- one or two glasses - that might be a different story.

But occasional --- ie; once a month or twice a month.... For those that are healthy and don't have massive damage.... METHINKS --- and this is just my opinion --- that your body is going to work to filter it - clean it etc.

I do however believe that those with massive damage - that this would be a VERY BAD thing... Whether or not it is a progressive bad thing... Like as in does the damage accumulate? I don't know...

But what I do know is that you're healthy now --- and you're working towards making your body better now....

And you're trying very hard to pick up the pieces....

So stop worrying about the past - and jump with joy for the future!

If you don't know Zelly - you could get another biopsy and check the difference in damage, etc.

OK?

But please sweetie - don't beat yourself up --- NOT FOR THAT SMALL AMOUNT.

OK?

HUGS!

Meki

[zellyf]

Thanks, Everyone.  You are all so right.  

I haven't had a biopsy yet at all because my docs have felt that my disease has been "inactive" but as we learn more about hep we learn that things aren't always what they seem.  I have an appt on Tuesday to chat with my new GI about some stuff.

Cheers and thank you again!

[Lady Lauri]

As said, don't beat yourself up and get a bx to ease your mind (everybody get the dang bx!!) MY opinion is any Dr. should do a bx on a Hep patient-period.

My situation p's me off a bit....I rarely ever drank (after the teenage Boones Farm nights:).
Very little, occasional. Then got into this horse shipping via planes biz. @ 10 yrs. ago. With it being 'horse sale week' before flights, it was PR every night, friends out to dinner, wine, martinis, etc. that week. @ 3 yrs. ago I started getting Hep symptoms, didn't know. Been to same Dr. office for 10 yrs. Finally dx'd last May 07 !! (never touched a drop than). Then, I get all my records, 2000-high LFTS, 2002,2003-high LFT's (with a Dr.s scribble I need to follow up with a UND, yet never told me that) , 2004-Hep test-for ONLY A & B-scribbled at the bottom "tell patient neg. for Hepatitis" !!! Sooooo, until 2007 continued those social weeks every 4-5 weeks a year. All fun, all damaging my liver!!
My  needle bx showed stage is borderline 2-3. He explained later mild to moderate damage. Fibroscan (2) both showed less damage.
Point is tho, the symptoms I got may stay for life, no one knows. Tho  tx is done, still UND 6 weeks post, he can't even answer what will or won't go away, even with the liver repairing. Dr.'s mistakes DO p*ss you off. The mistake in not checking for Hep C in 2004 (or sooner) was a huge one!

  That said....sorry, got me started.....I lean with Meki in this......with and ONLY with SVR AND little to no liver damage, an occasional glass , 'okay'. That is totally up to each person and how their health is otherwise also. My liver specialist ok's it-ONLY after SVR. Funny, while I 'could if I want to', don't even want to now. I was also like Meki, others in the HANGOVERS FROM H*LL" (with even 3 drinks) and now know it was probably my liver screaming NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Anyhow, I will never go back to that Dr.'s office and have told them why. I got dx'd. bx'd and in tx from May to Sept.! Done and UND less than a year later and will know if SVR about the same time I got dx'd last year/ (smooth process , huh?) There are other things that can damage your liver. Anyone that has had Hep for a long period of time needs a bx. Think as little as you did, you shouldn't worry so much, but get it. Just MO.

LL