Stress

I'm almost thinking the stress of all of life (for most people) and the stress of having this virus creates such a perfect climate for the craziness I'm experiencing.  I dont know if I dont feel good because my work life *****, I just turned 60 and the world is insane, ( I have a tendency toward negativity) I'm stressed all the time and then I contribute the side effects of stress to my virus that I found out I have 1 1/2 yrs ago. We have so many fatal DUI's where I live my chances of dying in a fatal car crash are probably more than dying of this disease, yet I feel like I have this black cloud over my head now.  I dont want to live the rest of my life feeling crappy and I cant help but feel that most of the crappiness is my attitude.  I need an attitude adjustment, but no one can do that for me.  I am waiting for better drugs or a study. g1, stage1, grade1
Venting, thank you.,

[14cheri]

having this virus is very stresful. I am 51, I have had it for 30yrs. I was in denial many yrs. I know how you feel. Anti-dep meds do help and also anti anxiety. I am g2 stage 2 i have 14 more wks. I am UND. Work life can *********. I work for my husband. That is tough. Once we hopefully get cured all willl be better.

[IAmTheWalrus]

I feel your pain. Hang in there. I think you are geno 1, so I'd be for waiting. Thanks for sharing your ventillation!

[newleaf09]

Got to agree with you about a lot of the things you said.  I had the virus for 38 years but when I got diagnosed my liver was in terrible shape from other things.  You are safe to wait for TX, just be cautious with things that can put stress on your liver.  The protease inhibitors will be coming out in 2011 and in the trials they are looking at 'response guided therapy', meaning that if you clear within a month of adding the PI, you may treat for 28 weeks instead of the strandard 48.  You are wise to wait. Hang in there.

[dointime]

" I dont want to live the rest of my life feeling crappy "

I'm about the same age and liver condition as you.  I was diagnosed 3 years ago.  I had that black cloud thing for a long time too, but most days it stays in the background now.  It's a huge trauma to find out you have the virus, so maybe you just need to give yourself more time, not a hard time.  

And find distractions / diversions which get your mind on to a different track.    

dointime

[Mary4now]

Thanks so much for your response, its nice to hear the validation and the encouraging advise.  Its just plain good to get feedback from ppl who are in the same boat.  I remind myself everyday that this life is impermanent and you never really know what that next moment will bring, I saw an episode of Scrubs the other night and the two young docs were sitting with someone who was dying.  The dying man asked what do you think is the most important thing and the doc said I just hope when I'm dying that my last thought is a good one.  Not that I think I'm gonna die anytime soon, but I sure do need to practice keeping good thoughts.
I wish you all the best outcome..
M4now

[Isobella]

Try to remember all the things you have to be thankful for.  I am optimistic (to a fault) my husband is a total naysayer,.  I think I am the way I am to compensate for him, but gotta say....it's easier being an optimist sometimes.  But it sure takes practice.  Like when you're in the (longest) line at the grocery store and in a huge hurry....I always tell myself to be thankful I had a car to get there, we live in a country where there is ample food, ect. Then I think...what a load of c+++ and start laughing at how stupid I sound even to myself. But at least it got me laughing.

I can totally relate tho. This virus is like the little black rain cloud.  Now that I am done and doing well....my thoughts turn dark again worrying about my daughter's tx. Venting helps and I'm glad you did so here...we all can relate and it reminds us that we're not alone in this.  

Here's to the new drugs.....may they get here soon!!!  

Hang in there Mary4!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sfpAKjrgsw

Isobella