for Goofydad

An Ode to your morning leaks...

My nookie days are over, my pilot light is out,
what used to be my sex appeal is now my water spout.
It used to be embarrasing to make that thing behave,
for every single morning it would stand and watch me shave.
Now as I'm getting older, it sure gives me the blues,
to have the thing hang down my leg and watch me tie my shoes.

Thanks for the chuckles -you really make my day sometimes! ;) ~MM

[FlGuy]

I found some more of lost lines of the Ode to Goofy:

It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because I really can’t
With the time I spend in Tenderloin my chances are not scant.
I used to think my junior would always be here for me
But it does recede each morning upon my first time pee
Prostrate’s done, rhoids are hot and thyroid may be taken out.
My kid’s concerned because my nightly poo makes me scream and shout

Before you think my life is over and mired in regret
Oh damn, that next thought was just another I forget.
So, each day I’m a Dad and on the job and on my way to toil
Gladly recalling that’s she’s still an ex and not a festering boil
For those who know and love me - a guy who’s always trusted
Even though my turds feel huge and painfully jewel-encrusted.

[GoofyDad]

should I feel flattered, shamed, or detached amusement?

[NinjaPinky]

Flattered nd ahamed both haha... no its jut funny!

[eureka254]

MM:  Good to see you, and thanks for the chuckles! :D
And FlGuy too.

Goofy:   ".... detached amusement?"
So it's not only women who suffer with bone loss. There's a good surgeon in Manassas, btw...

[medicmommy]

LMAO! ~MM

[fretboard]

"should I feel flattered, shamed, or detached amusement?"

I think you mean attached amusement! lol  It is funny tho', lucky you can take a joke!

[screaming48]

so funny thanks needed that

[medicmommy]

That wasn't John Bobbit's surgeon, was it? -I heard he used to work for Snap-On tools...~MM

[GoofyDad]

Snap-on Tools? I've heard of them! Didn't they sponsor Billie Jean King back in the day? Or maybe it was a Melissa Ethridge tour. My mind don't hold facts so good any more.

[medicmommy]

So now your mind is going too? I'm beginning to see a trend here...I've heard too much "alone time" can cause that...Oh, wait. that only makes you go blind...;)~MM

[GoofyDad]

...I've heard too much "alone time" can cause that...

Yeah, uh-huh. From a friend of a friend, right? Why is it that there's a full-on large-scale industry selling power tools for women - but there ain't no women using 'em? You'd figure the manufacturers would have figured out a long time ago they have zero sales and stopped advertising and manufaturing.....unless....

[medicmommy]

I use power tools...I especially like the ones you don't have to plug in...;) ~MM

[GoofyDad]

So now you've got a whole gaggle of ppl wondering which receptacle it is that ain't getting plugged.

[medicmommy]

LOL. You win. -A penny for your thoughts! ;) ~MM

[eureka254]

Whoa. I can almost hear the new series replacing 'Jersey Shore':  
MTV's MedicMommy, Unplugged... sponsored by Snap-on Tools

GoofyDad:  
Man, I've heard of burning the candle at both ends, but guess that's what happens when the wick runs out...

[GoofyDad]

To run out of candle prematurely would be a real bummer. Kinda like a premature evacuation, which should be right up your er.. ally, I imagine.

So that must be what all these waxed nethers are about that I hear sighting reports on the internet lately. Cases of burning the candle from both ends and the wick runs dry. All in all, a pleasing effect whan all's said and done, what?

[medicmommy]

You two and your humor are really good for the soul. You crack me up!
Thankyou so much for the much-needed chuckles! (((((((((((HUGZ)))))))))~MM

[GoofyDad]

Thanks for the props, MM. If you could make sense of my last post you're smarter than me. That last paragraph should be taken out behind the barn and put out of its misery.