Well, I am not an expert by any means. However, I have been in the same situation as you quite often. From what I have read and from what I have gathered from experts, herpes can come in all shapes in sizes. But, that does not mean what you have is herpes. When I freak out about this issue,
I ask myself first to calm down and to think about the situation. How long have they been there? Have I done anything that might have caused red dots to appear in my crotch? Was I out in the yard/woods wearing shorts and I may have been exposed to chiggers? Did I change soap or anything that may have caused an allergic reaction? Many different things could have caused these spots so you just need to ask yourself what you have done recently that may have caused them to appear.
I will say, do NOT look at pictures on the internet! That will just worsen the situation. And since you do not know what they are, do not touch it. I had ringworm back in January and I thought they were pimples, haha. They were located in several spots and they itched slightly but not enough for me to worry. I only found out when the Dr. tested me for it.
Also do the lesions always blister or can they simply be a dime sized red spot and itch a little. Nothing has been unbearable...I just noticed when i was bathing and began to freak out.
I guess my main fear is losing my wife and family. We worked through the stupid drunken evening that was low risk. We have since gone on to have another beautiful child. Our sex life is better than ever. She wa tested for everything within the last year during the pregnancy and was negative for everything. I have a test scheduled tomorrow and am freaking out...
22 days was too early to test for herpes. I'm guessing you only got tested three years ago, so if you haven't been with anyone else, other than your wife, why not get tested now? Also, has your wife ever been tested for it since you two have been together? It is possible for someone to have it and never show symptoms and even after years of sexual contact, may pass it on to his/her partner out of the blue. You're well passed the waiting period for getting tested so if you do have it, it will most likely show up in your blood work.
There are many free health care clinics, depending on where you live. Some will not test for herpes and will only do a visual inspection, but others will do the blood test; just depends on the clinic.