Aa
Am I just being paranoid?
So I have a couple of issues that I need help with. First I am ashamed to say that I cheated on my wife with a guy that I met online. He was also married and assured me that he was clean and disease free. He informed me that his only other partners were friends of his that he has known for some time. I want to start with that for what its worth.
We did have 2 encounters about 3 weeks apart. In both cases I performed unprotected oral on him. In one instance he did ejaculate in my mouth. In both instances I did have a "friction burn" feeling on my lips for a few days following. Our last meeting was the week of Memorial day (5-6 weeks ago) and I am still feeling an occasional burn on my upper lip. I do not recall seeing any evidence of an STD/STI at the time. I have attempted to use Carmex and Blistex but those do not always help. I did not have any visible blisters or lesions on my lips and no other symptoms that I contracted anything. The only trauma that I saw was what appeared to be a small cut on my lip that hurt when I ran my tongue over it. I admit that I was incredibly paranoid and did play with it (and still do) with my tongue.
Fast forward to this weekend. My lips were feeling much better. My wife and I did engage in sex a few times unprotected. There did not appear to be any reason for concern. This was Saturday night/Sunday morning. On Tuesday morning she woke up and complained about a headache and nausea which she does get monthly with her period but she told me that this month felt stronger than normal. As of today (Friday) she has just a minor headache, no nausea, and no other symptoms of an STD. I have seen online that herpes can appear in this manor within 48 hours but I was not clear in terms of timeline. Would the headache and nausea come days before the blisters? If so would it make sense for those symptoms to appear for 3 days and go away before the blisters appear? I can't seem to find answers to these questions online.
Reading the forums I see that oral sex is "safer" sex and that HSV1 usually prefers to stay above the belt and HSV2 below the belt. I was just curious how concerned I should be. My gut is telling me that I am being paranoid but wanted to ask in case you guys had additional advice. My lips have been burning for the past 2 days and my guess it is because of anxiety. I feel so guilty and stupid for doing what I did.
So I guess my questions boil down to this:
1) Is it possible to contract HSV1 genital to mouth and have it present as a burning or chapped feeling for 5 weeks?
2) Would it be possible to pass the virus that fast to another partner? My thought was that if I did have an outbreak then I likely would not be shedding only a week or 2 later.
3) How likely would it be that I contracted HSV2 orally and passed it to her? Again I did not see any symptoms of an STD on him.
4) I have also seen on the forums that diseases like Chlamydia and Gonnerhea do not like to live in the throat so how concerned should I be with these or other STDs/STIs. Again him and I did not have insertive sex as far as I am concerned, just me performing oral on him. Not sure if that is relevant but by thought was that it limits the exposure to oral sex I performed on my wife as the transmission vehicle and not genital to genital transmission. I could be wrong though.
5) What is the general sequence for herpes symptoms? No signs of itching, tingling, or burning as far as she has told me. Just the headache and nausea which appear to be subsiding. Not sure if these is just a coincidence or not.
Sorry this is so long winded. Any advice that you have would be greatly appreciated.
We did have 2 encounters about 3 weeks apart. In both cases I performed unprotected oral on him. In one instance he did ejaculate in my mouth. In both instances I did have a "friction burn" feeling on my lips for a few days following. Our last meeting was the week of Memorial day (5-6 weeks ago) and I am still feeling an occasional burn on my upper lip. I do not recall seeing any evidence of an STD/STI at the time. I have attempted to use Carmex and Blistex but those do not always help. I did not have any visible blisters or lesions on my lips and no other symptoms that I contracted anything. The only trauma that I saw was what appeared to be a small cut on my lip that hurt when I ran my tongue over it. I admit that I was incredibly paranoid and did play with it (and still do) with my tongue.
Fast forward to this weekend. My lips were feeling much better. My wife and I did engage in sex a few times unprotected. There did not appear to be any reason for concern. This was Saturday night/Sunday morning. On Tuesday morning she woke up and complained about a headache and nausea which she does get monthly with her period but she told me that this month felt stronger than normal. As of today (Friday) she has just a minor headache, no nausea, and no other symptoms of an STD. I have seen online that herpes can appear in this manor within 48 hours but I was not clear in terms of timeline. Would the headache and nausea come days before the blisters? If so would it make sense for those symptoms to appear for 3 days and go away before the blisters appear? I can't seem to find answers to these questions online.
Reading the forums I see that oral sex is "safer" sex and that HSV1 usually prefers to stay above the belt and HSV2 below the belt. I was just curious how concerned I should be. My gut is telling me that I am being paranoid but wanted to ask in case you guys had additional advice. My lips have been burning for the past 2 days and my guess it is because of anxiety. I feel so guilty and stupid for doing what I did.
So I guess my questions boil down to this:
1) Is it possible to contract HSV1 genital to mouth and have it present as a burning or chapped feeling for 5 weeks?
2) Would it be possible to pass the virus that fast to another partner? My thought was that if I did have an outbreak then I likely would not be shedding only a week or 2 later.
3) How likely would it be that I contracted HSV2 orally and passed it to her? Again I did not see any symptoms of an STD on him.
4) I have also seen on the forums that diseases like Chlamydia and Gonnerhea do not like to live in the throat so how concerned should I be with these or other STDs/STIs. Again him and I did not have insertive sex as far as I am concerned, just me performing oral on him. Not sure if that is relevant but by thought was that it limits the exposure to oral sex I performed on my wife as the transmission vehicle and not genital to genital transmission. I could be wrong though.
5) What is the general sequence for herpes symptoms? No signs of itching, tingling, or burning as far as she has told me. Just the headache and nausea which appear to be subsiding. Not sure if these is just a coincidence or not.
Sorry this is so long winded. Any advice that you have would be greatly appreciated.
This is driving me nuts. She told me that her lip was bothering her and saya it feels like she bit her inner lip. Said it hurt a few days ago, cleared up, and is bothering her again. Could this be a caus3 for concern? Also i realized i asked two questuons in one for #1. Is it possible to get hsv1 orally by performing oral sex and nothing else?
I am not sure where I should post the response so I will post it in both place. I understand that blisters can be very small. In the event that they were present and overlooked, how much does that change any of the answers above?
2 Comments
the thing with blister is that small or big they are painful when rubbed so i doubt any blisters were present
Makes perfect sense. Thank you
Hi
1. no
2. the likely hood you contracted hsv2 from giving oral sex and contracting hsv1 genital from receiving oral sex is really nothing to be concerned about if no shaft blisters or mouth blisters were present at the time of the affair. so passing it would not be any big concern either.
3. not likely
4.chlamydia is not known to be passed from oral sex only gono and even at that is very low risk.
5. in the absence of symptoms of genital or lip blisters with flu like symptoms appearing about a week later would indicate that the virus was not passed.
but since your married test for herpes, gono and syphilis for your wifes protection.
1. no
2. the likely hood you contracted hsv2 from giving oral sex and contracting hsv1 genital from receiving oral sex is really nothing to be concerned about if no shaft blisters or mouth blisters were present at the time of the affair. so passing it would not be any big concern either.
3. not likely
4.chlamydia is not known to be passed from oral sex only gono and even at that is very low risk.
5. in the absence of symptoms of genital or lip blisters with flu like symptoms appearing about a week later would indicate that the virus was not passed.
but since your married test for herpes, gono and syphilis for your wifes protection.
1 Comments
Thank you for your quick response. I do have one additional question. I understand that blisters can be very small. In the event that I missed them and they were present. How much does that change any of the answers above?
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
