At a loss...

I feel a little silly asking this, but I recently started dating someone who got tested and diagnosed with oral HSV-1. We haven't been physical. They seem to have gotten from someone they dated previously, they broke up over a month ago. They don't show any symptoms now, as far as they know they haven't any, no sores or anything but mentioned a "throat thing" (no more specific details) when they were dating the person they seem to have gotten it from.

I know HSV-1, oral, is extremely common, there's a possibility I may have it myself and not know it (though I've never had any symptoms myself), and have an appointment to get tested, but I'm a little nervous about kissing or being at physical with this person. I know you can give herpes when you aren't showing symptoms, but can't find any info on how common that is for HSV-1.  Almost all the web sites I find talk about transmission of HSV-2, not HSV-1. I suppose it's case by case but I really feel like I'm not getting any answers. If I make out with this person, am I guaranteed to get HSV-1 myself (if I don't have it already)?

I feel at a loss. I really, really, like this person, but as I said I'm a bit a nervous. I hate to blow a good relationship about something that affects the majority of the adult population, so I'm likely to come across it again anyway, but it still scares me a little.

[DidisMirage]

HSV-1 and HSV-2 are transmitted in the same ways. Your current partner can be shedding asymptomatically and you can get it. But they could also not be. You can also catch HSV-1 genetically if they are outbreaking in their mouth/throat and give you oral sex (I had a friend who caught HSV-2 this way and it's incredibly painful for her). You shouldn't blow your relationship over it though. There's a lot of ways to reduce the risk!

[waringblender]

Good lord, I think you mean "genitally," not "genetically."

Go and get tested for both types of herpes to see where you stand. My god, if you are going to avoid kissing people because of HSV-1, you are in for a very lonely life.

[Seekingsumhelp]

Thanks guys. I know you're right, HSV-1 is pretty darn common and I'd be willing to bet I've been exposed to it before. It's been a couple years since I've been tested so I've going to get tested myself. So either I will have it and all will be moot (except for the fact I'll have to contact a few people I've been with, which will not be easy) or I won't and we'll have to discuss options. Either way no kissing until I get my test results-so I know what my status already is.

It amazes me how our society makes such a big deal about herpes, but yet it seems there's so little out there (comparatively) about the most "common" type, HSV-1.