I am in a long term monogamous relationship. We both have HSV 1 and get cold sores. Recently, I had a cold sore and we were kissing. Then she performed oral sex
your partner kissing you when you have a cold sore and then performing oral on you is not a risk.
Once you have hsv1 on one location, it's unlikely you'll get it on another later on. Just don't perform oral on someone when you have an active cold sore present to err on the side of caution.