Break up w/ HSV 2 Girlfriend?
by Sean559, May 17, 2012
My girlfriend of 4 months has had herpes for 7 years, with her only outbreak occurring when she was diagnosed at the age of 15.  We've had unprotected sex and I've tested negative for HSV 2 twice, but I no longer want to risk getting herpes myself and I think I'm going to break up with her.  I know I'd be losing a great girl, but I do NOT want to have herpes for the rest of my life.
My question is since she's only had 1 outbreak in her life, is she still contagious?  None of her previous boyfriends who she's had regular, unprotected sex have tested positive.  What are the approximate percentage chances that I can continue having unprotected sex with her and remain HSV 2 free?
Thank you.
Member Comments (8)
by mightaswellask88, May 17, 2012
It would be shameful for you to break up with a girl over a skin condition. The only reason you're considering breaking up with her is because you're falling for the stigma that genital herpes comes with. Half of people have oral cold sores but nobody thinks twice about it, yet when they have it genitally, all of a sudden it's taboo. If you're in a relationship with her, it's easy to know through communication when she's having an outbreak. Condoms will greatly reduce your chances- and if she's using antivirals and condoms are used, it's such a low risk that you'll ever get it. She will always have the virus, but she'll always be the great girl you know her as. It's nothing but a skin condition with a huge stigma slapped onto it... a lot of people have it and just don't know they do.
by mightaswellask88, May 17, 2012
Read this, it might give you a different perspective. (The only thing I don't agree with is that I believe if you know you have HSV, then you should tell your partner)

by mightaswellask88, May 17, 2012
And sorry, it was kind of harsh for me to say "shameful" because your life is your own. I just mean- imagine if you had genital herpes, and someone you really cared about dumped you over it, when this virus is barely even affecting you physically?
by concernedbf123, May 17, 2012
I agree. My girlfriend has genital hsv 1. She got it from her ex I am negative for both hsv's. Even though the risk is so minimal I am still by her side because she is indeed a great girl. This is the only thing that stands out about her. She recently acquired it this year from her and opened up and told me about it. We dated before her ex so we do have history together but I will never turn a girl down because of this. Your girlfriend was honest enough to tell you so she cares for you. Its just a skin condition that has a stigma to it. She is still normal!
by gracefromHHP, May 18, 2012
is your gf less contagious since she isn't having frequent recurrences? no she is not.

definitely find out how she was originally diagnosed. typically at that age, it's hsv1 genitally and not hsv2 genitally. if she only had a visual diagnosis or didn't have proper testing done, she should follow up to know her status for sure.

so should you break up over herpes? well obviously totally your choice but since statistically 1 out of every 2-3 people you know has hsv1 and 1 out of every 4-5 has hsv2, it's going to be hard to find a partner who is herpes free.

what precautions are you both taking to reduce your risk of transmission? did you know that if she has hsv2, takes daily suppressive therapy , avoids sex during symptoms and you use condoms, you are 99% likely to NOT contract hsv2 from her?

by FeaPumKin, Nov 12, 2012
Thank you, this was very comforting for me to read. I have finally met someone I really love and it was very hard for him once I broke the news. It's been rocky, even more so when he didn't want to touch me for 2 weeks but he's staying by my side. It's such an odd thing to tell someone because I feel normal (besides taking med.s everyday).  
by JC81, Nov 12, 2012
I was just tested last week for genital herpes and it was positive.  
Genital Herpes is #1 besides hpv for positive testing coming into clinics.  
With this being said, herpes has a negative connotation, but when you have it and deal with it, its really just a skin condition that has been blown out of proportion.  I think, if you see a future with her, stay. I personally think it sucks to dump someone because of this issue. You can use a condom and make sure she doesn't have a sore during any sexual relations.  Be understanding and become educated about the virus.  
by merogono, Apr 14, 2013
Search Google Images for herpes... many people infected have no outbreaks or only mild symptoms, but there's a chance you're going to end up in the horror gallery