I was someone over 2 months ago and he very recently called me to say he had herpes and that he was fine before he met me and just recently (last week) noticed the sores and went to the doctor who confirmed the virus. He is convinced that I am the carrier. However, I was with someone else a couple of days before him and was also with another person a few weeks (month) after him. When I called the other guys they said they have had no outbreak and one of them had been tested after being with me. So my question is...is it possible that I gave him herpes, even though I have not had an outbreak and neither have the other 2 guys and also if I am NOT the carrier, because I slept with him does that mean I probably now have the virus? and is it possible he would have an initial outbreak that long after transmission? I have an appointment to get it checked out. I do sometimes get sores but it is usually only one sore and it is on my upper thigh or just outside the vagina. I was only with this guy a handful of times and was more frequently with one of the other guy for about 2 years and they are both fine.
First and foremost I encourage you to get tested. Even if it does come out negative wouldn't you rather know and elevate some of the stress??
Secondly, you should probably keep in mind that while it may or may not be because of anything you did but because in most cases up to 70% of people show no signs of even having the disease within the first year and therefore can mass it on without ever knowing anything about it. (Which also makes it easier to blame the other person..)
But I'll break down the odds for you; in general the risk is approx. 10% a year that an infected male will give it to an uninfected female. On the other hand though, say 100 men and sex with 100 women that were infected - only *4* of those men would end up infected within the next year.
In my personal opinion; no, by no means do I think that's even remotely right or fair but regardless I thought you may way to know.
As for same sex couples however, as far as I know there are no statistics to pull from.
Should the worst happen though, just remember that there are certain treatments available to make life a lot more livable, and in that case I mean mentally so (as well as physically of course). I knew a few people that got it so I completely understand. And if you have any more questions or need to talk, stress, or vent I'd be more than happy to help.
I don't believe they are herpes sores because I have gotten "abscess" boils before I was sexually active and when it was checked out by a doctor, he said that some people are prone to that and it can at times flare up. He never mentioned that this could be the same as herpes.
you can change your gender under the mymedhelp section on the top of the forum. less confusing when the right gender is represented :)
odds are that you've never had herpes testing even if you get regular std testing done. at this point I recommend seeking out a type specific herpes igg blood test to see what your baseline status is. You will then need to repeat it in 3 months to see what your status is from your recent encounters you've had.
So my chances for HSV 2 are pretty high at this point it seems. Thank you for the responses, I will keep you posted as to my result, I am expecting the worst but praying for the best. In any case BIG lesson learned here!
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