Cold Sores and Cunnilingus

Hi, I'm new to the forums. I have searched the internet and found similar questions to mine but none precisely the same. Me and my partner share a very healthy sexual relationship. I regularly give each other oral sex which is enjoyable. However, if I give her cunnilingus, and then kiss her afterwards before cleaning my mouth, she breaks out in cold sores on her mouth with alarming regularity.

Now I have never had a cold sore to my memory and I have never had any kind of STD and also was tested just prior to entering into a sexual relationship with my partner. She has only ever been with one other guy other than myself but has never been tested. I have never had any hint that anything is wrong with her vagina and just assumed that it was a natural reaction to her own fluids.

I am quite confused and frustrated about this as it has started to impact our sex life. I wanted to know what the cause of it could be? I dont want to ask her to get tested unless it is absolutely necessary.

Also on a side note, the HSV-1 that I assume she already has, would she have already have to have contracted this from another guy she may have kissed in the past? I know she suffered with them before we even met.

[petal130]

First of all, don't assume she has oral herpes. Both of you should be tested if you don't know your herpes status. An IgG type specific test is what you'd both want.

Your scenario of oral sex, then kissing her, then her getting cold sores all the time is not at all indicative of herpes. Cold sore outbreaks (of which she doesn't know she actually has) can be triggered by several things: hormones, stress/fatigue, cold weather, sun exposure, cold/flu. When she has oral symptoms, she should go have them checked out. A swab/culture will determine if it is in fact herpes.

Upwards of 70% of the adult population has oral herpes; it's incredibly common.

Even as to genital herpes, of the 1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 men who have genital herpes, 90% don't even know it.

[mrjonesWM]

I'm not assuming she has genital herpes, I just want to find out where the connection between the oral sex and the cold sores is coming from. If I have any form of herpes it has never shown any manifestation and as I said, I was tested before we got together and she's the only woman I have been with since.

[petal130]

Really you should both know each other's STD/herpes status. Expecting a partner to get tested doesn't mean you don't trust them, it just makes sense given one can have herpes (and other STDs) and not even know it.

[mrjonesWM]

I agree entirely, thanks for your response. I guess i'm going to have to have the chat!

[gracefromHHP]

She needs to follow up on this with her provider. This should not be triggering herpes reoccurences like this. she'll need them swabbed within 48 hours of their appearance for a lesion culture to confirm that it is herpes going on for starters.

grace