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Coping With Herpes
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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.

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Coping With Herpes

I was recently diagnosed with gential (genital) herpes just a few days ago. I keep having suicidal thoughts and I'm trying to cope with it but I just don't know how. I've only told 4 people that are close to me. My parents don't know because I feel that they will judge me. My question is how do I learn to deal with my condition and how do I accept this as apart of my life? I'm so scared,lost,confused :-( please help
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Educate yourself.  Ask questions.  Read as much as you can.  Your life is not over.  Don't put unnecessary shame on yourself.  1 in 4-5 people have hsv 2 and 1 in 2-3 people have hsv 1.  Do you know what type you have?
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101028_tn?1348750963
what testing did you have done so far?

do you have a regular partner?

no need for your parents to know that you have herpes dear unless you feel that they would be a source of support for you.

have you read the free herpes handbook yet and watched the patient counseling video on the same site?

Terri Warren's book "the good news about the bad news" is also a terrific resource and is under $20 on amazon. it really goes deeper into the psychological side of having herpes than her free handbook does.

if you are feeling like you want to kill yourself, please call your local suicide hotline and/or your regular doctor. Talk to professionals about how you are feeling. herpes is NEVER a  reason to end your life - it's incredibly common and easily controlled with medication.

grace
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Avatar_f_tn
I've had a pap smear done and blood work plus cultures. I go back on Wednesday to find out if its HSV 1 or two. But I went to the hospital and to my obgyn and both said its herpes. I joined a group that deals primarily with herpes and they have monthly meetings. I also am trying to find a therapist to speak with because I feel like I'm slipping away. I know that things will get better for me I just feel like right now I'm not myself. I don't even feel comfortable in my own home. My moods keep changing without me even realizing it. I just need to come to terms with this but I don't know how
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101028_tn?1348750963
glad you have found a group close to you. have you gotten a chance to speak to anyone involved in the group?

hope you can get in with a therapist this week to work on your feelings you are having.

do you have a  regular partner?

what scares you most about knowing you probably have genital herpes?
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101028_tn?1348750963
To continue from your other post - yes it is frustrating when your partner isn't giving you the support you need. Everyone deals with finding out that they have herpes in a relationship differently. Has your partner been tested yet to know their status? encourage him to go with you to your counseling too.
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Avatar_f_tn
Yes he's been tested. What scares me the most is that people won't accept me for who I am. He's the only person I've been with in the last month and I'm not even blaming him. I blame myself for being so careless. It hurts that he won't even acknowledge me. It seems like I'm nothing to him now. He hasn't even asked how I'm feeling. I know that this is a tough pill to swallow but why do I have to deal with this alone? I know I have my brother who's been more than supportive to me. I know that this is a life changing experience and I have no choice but to accept it.
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Avatar_f_tn
But I wanna feel like myself again. I wanna laugh like I use to have fun like I use to
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101028_tn?1348750963
well at least now you found out that this person isn't someone that will stick by your side so that you can stop using your time and energy to be with them. Sucks to find out this way but better now than later.

keep talking to your brother and your friends who support you.  get professional help. depression isn't always something you can get through on your own so get the help you need to move forward. It's just herpes - far more worse things out there and you will be completely normal. this doesn't change who you are, it's just an infection you have to deal with periodically.
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Thank you Grace!
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Avatar_f_tn
Okay so I went to the doctor and found out that I don't have herpes but I have genital warts. I cried so hard but then I prayed and just asked God to wrap his arms around me. I'm learning that everything happens for a reason and all I can do is get up and live my life day by day
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101028_tn?1348750963
glad you are getting better answers.

did they start removing your warts?
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Yes they've done one treatment so far I have to go back every week until they're gone. I haven't cried about this since Wednesday. My doctor is very supportive and is doing everything he can to see that I receive the best care. The only down side to all of this is that I have them on the inside of my vagina so they're a little uncomfortable and slightly painful. But I'm learning alot about HPV and I'm glad to know I'll be ok
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