Could this be herpes?

[ChrisRedfield]

I feel like the worst human being on the planet.

I had an encounter roughly 3 months ago with someone I didn't know.  outside of my marriage

she performed brief oral on me and I on her, again briefly

there was no penetration, but a bit of rubbing on her clit with my penis.

2 days later, I started getting a stinging/burning sensation on the tip of my penis that lasted for about a week.

I asked her if she was tested recently and she stated she was last November via pap smear and all showed up normal and she did not have sex of any kind since then.

after her telling me that, the pain went away.

fast forward 3 months later.

my wife started experiencing incredible pain in her sciatic nerve that traveled down to her knee/ankle at times

I started researching possible causes, outside of just standard sciatica and there it was.....HERPES

I was feeling fine up until that point.  then I noticed the burning/stinging sensation occurring all over again.  sometimes it was just the tip, some times it the feeling was in the urethra/bladder.

the cause of my wife's sciatica issue was due to a slipped disc in her spine.  she's much better now, but I can't seem to get my symptoms to go away for good.

this has gone on for about a week and a half now.

there are no visible sores, discharge, fever, etc. in this case

my wife and I have had sex since that encounter and she is not experiencing any symptoms of anything.

I'm normaly not an anxious person, but my anxiety is through the roof on this.

I have not gotten tested for anything as I don't really fit the mold for the STIs out there, at least that i'm aware of.

I've also noticed the sensations come and go depending on if i'm doing something or not.  if i'm occupied with something, there is no pain/burn sensations anywhere.  but if I start to think about how I may have just completely destroyed my life and my family over something so stupid, it starts to flare up.

it seems to be more irritation when sitting as opposed to walking/standing.

so here's my question.

If it was hsv, does the pain come and go while having an outbreak?
exactly how painful is hsv if there was an outbreak?
if it's been 12 weeks roughly with no sores, is herpes ruled out?

I personally believe it to be more anxiety as I know anxiety/stress/guilt can cause all of these symptoms and that not everything is an STD.

I'm losing my mind and losing my grip on reality.  I can't eat, sleep, can barely function at my job and need some help here.

thank you for reading

[feelingundone]

I think it's safe to say herpes is not a realistic posibility here. The problem with reading symptoms lists when you don't have a firm grasp of how the virus works is understanding the context of said symptoms. Everyone goes right to leg pain, tingling or itching as the "oh my God i have herpes" not understanding how it all works. Everyone gets leg pains, tingling on skin and itching from time to time. They are so normal that tbey go unnoticed when your not looking for them. Your fear and anxiety are your only real enemy from this.

[ChrisRedfield]

Again, thanks a lot.  You guys are the best.  I'll never do anything like this again and need to focus on what's going on at home and inside me to find out and fix what brought me to this point.

[feelingundone]

Those symptoms aren't hsv symptoms in the absence of lesions. Yhe odds you acquired hsv from the breif oral is incredibly small. So small in fact it really doesn't warrant much concern.

[ChrisRedfield]

Thank you for your response. I am really glad I found this site. After the response I got yesterday, the symptoms were pretty much gone. Still minor sensations today but I feel it's still in my head, but not early as much as it has been.

My wife and my family are the best things to happen to me, and the thought of throwing that away over a stupid decision was taking over my life.

None of this ever came across my mind at the time.

My wife hasn't had any issues that I'm aware of. I would imagine if she did, she would have made an appointment to the doctor.

So I would imagine since she hasn't experienced anything at this point, she should be in the clear. Is that fair to say?

Again, thank you guys for taking time out to answer my questions. It's greatly appreciated.

I really need to stay off the internet. Over the past week and a half, I've had every STD imaginable based on research.  I've already where HSV could have little to no symptoms. Would that be the case for the initial outbreak?

[Life360_Dave]

Hi yes it would appear its your anxiety and guilt getting best of you. First time herpes out breaks are usually consider painful with flu like symptom that appear after the first out break of blister type sores that appear about 2 weeks later. They dont come and go as are blister type sores. with no symptoms appearing in 12 weeks you can pretty much rule out herpes and testing would not be recommened with out symptoms UNLESS you have a long term partner so since your married test for the below at the correct window period for her protection.
1. Herpes----3 months
2. gono--- 7 days
3. syphilis---6 weeks

[ChrisRedfield]

Thank you very much for your response. I was not expecting one so quickly.

If my wife hasn't experienced any symptoms as well, would it be safe to say she's in the clear?

What are the odds of both of us not experiencing any symptoms at all in this timeframe?

I made such a stupid, selfish mistake and it's really brought my whole world to a stop, internally.

I feel like a horrible person, to do something and put my wife at risk is about the worst thing I can do. And for what?  Because I was horny?  So stupid!

[hopefulpremed]

Irregardless of symptoms, you should be tested. While the probability of acquiring herpes in a single encounter is slim, it is the safe thing to do. Most people with herpes don't present obvious symptoms.

[feelingundone]

The odds of any asymptomatic infection is extremely low. Even lower due to oral sex being the least likely way to acquire any bacterial infections. Syphillis is very rare in hetero couples. Also the odds of getting from oral sex is extremely low. If i were in your shoes knowing what i know i would move on and not look back. I know the guilt you feel is deserved and hard to handle at times. You made a mistake. You learned from it and ultimately will be a better husband over this. You are fine, learn to forgive yourself and treat her like a queen.

[ChrisRedfield]

Man, if I were to meet you in person, I would give you the highest of fives. Treat her like a queen, I will most definitely do. :) from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much for sharing your knowledge and help.

[feelingundone]

Good man!!!! I wish you the best.

[ChrisRedfield]

Thank you, sir. I think it's great what you and other people do on this site. You guys really talked me off the ledge in this case.  Still not 100% gone, minor sensations while focusing, but I'm sure that'll go away in time when my happy *** has completely calmed down. :)

[ChrisRedfield]

One last thing, if it's been so long, and again with no symptoms, there couldn't be any kind of other infection, like chlamydia or gono or syphilis, could there?  Again, I've read that some times, there may not be any symptoms at all, along with herpes. Again, probably should stay off the internet. :)