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Dating a guy with whitlow
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Dating a guy with whitlow

I started seeing a guy who told me he has herpetic whitlow.  I like him so I agreed to keep seeing him.  We've hung out about 5 times, and have a good connection so we've been making out, dry humping, and mutual masturbation.  I am so freaked out that I might catch herpes from him.  I won't let his hands touch any mucus membranes on me, but he inevitably touches himself so I'm really scared that he'll spread it to other parts of his body and that I'm going to get herpes from kissing him.  I will keep abstaining, but now I'm so afraid that I'm going to get oral hsv 2 from him, even though he's never had an outbreak on/in his mouth.  Am I just over reacting?  He told me he's had 2 outbreaks on one hand, and he isn't sure about the other.  I just really want to know what is the likelihood of passing herpetic whitlow to another person, or if getting herpes from kissing is possible.  The stress of this is killing me.  I was diagnosed with a treatable std a few months ago so I don't know if I'm being totally irrational towards stds, or if I just realize the likelihood of catching herpes.

Also, I'm in my early 20's so I really really want to stay clean since I'm not sure if this relationship will be long term, but I don't want to break up unless there is no way to avoid becoming infected myself.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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7 Comments Post a Comment
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101028_tn?1419606604
Does he have hsv1 or hsv2?

Have you ever been tested for herpes yourself yet?

The whitlow isn't an issue unless he has an active lesion on the hands. The skin there is too thick for the virus to penetrate thru without an obvious lesion present.

grace
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Avatar_n_tn
It's type 2.  I haven't been tested...he suggested that I get the blood test but my dermatologist said that blood tests aren't reliable.  I think I will still get one though.
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101028_tn?1419606604
The blood tests are reliable if you get the right ones done. Please see our herpes health page for links to more info on herpes testing.

If he has hsv2 on his hands I'd also assume it's probably in his genital area too unless his only contact was manual stimulation.  Is he on daily suppressive therapy?

grace
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Avatar_n_tn
The only contact he had was manual stimulation...atleast that's what he told me.  He said his doctor said his case wasn't severe enough to warrant daily medication.
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101028_tn?1419606604
If it truly is only on his hands then no he doesn't need suppressive therapy.  

Do you know how he was diagnosed as having hsv2 whitlow? Did he have a lesion culture of his finger lesions or a blood test?

grace
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Avatar_n_tn
Yes, it's hsv 2 whitlow.  I think he had a blood test, but I know he saw the doctor when he had lesions so it's possible it was a lesion culture.
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101028_tn?1419606604
Well those would be the next questions I"d ask him - how he was diagnosed. If it was just a blood test and a visual diagnosis of the finger - I'd assume he also has it genitally and take full precautions.

grace
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