Herpes Expert Forum
Dating with HSV 2
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Welcome to the Herpes forum. This forum is for questions and support pertaining to herpes simplex virus infections (HSV-1 and 2) and herpes zoster (shingles) and the virus that causes it, varicella zoster virus. Questions about genital herpes are welcome both here and on the STD Forum.

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Dating with HSV 2

Hello.  I am a 43 year old female.  HSV 2 positive for 3 years.  Since the initial outbreak, which was horrible, I have had only 1 other mild outbreak about a year ago.  I took Valtrex at the first feeling something was about to happen, and the pain/sensation ended within a couple days.  I do not take Valtrex daily, as I read some others do.  I do take lots of vitamins/antioxidants, red algae and Lysine, keep myself healthy and avoid stressful situations as much as possible.

A couple questions: I recently started dating and my bf enjoys giving oral sex.  Is this dangerous for him?  Can he get HSV 2 orally?

I have heard that in otherwise healthy individuals, outbreaks often get further and further apart over time.  Do you think this is true?

We recently had unprotected sex and I'm terrified that he may have been exposed - no symptoms thus far. Thank God!

Do you think it is inevitable that he would get it, or what the chances are, if we became a LTR and decided to continue unprotected?

My stomach is in knots thinking about this!

Thank you for any advice you can give.
You are right - having HSV 1 first makes your HSV 2 symptoms milder.  
Has your boyfriend actually been tested for HSV 2 to determine that he is not infected?  If not, he should be.

Also, we know that taking daily antiviral therapy is both safe and effective - it reduces transmission by 48%.  I think if he is truly uninfected, you should seriously consider doing this to reduce his risk of infection.

The risk of him getting HSV 2 from you, using daily therapy and no condoms, having sex about twice per week, is 2% in a year - that is, if there were 100 couples in that situation, in a year, 2 men would get infected.

This is also his decision, how much risk he is willing to take.  

I would suggest that you consider reading my book, The Good News About the Bad News.  There is a lot in there about this situation.

Sorry - I should add that I have had HSV 1 since my early 20's.  In reading responses to other folks, maybe that is why the HSV 2 has not been so horrible for me.  Could that be true?
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