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Dating with herpes
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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.

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Dating with herpes

I found out I had herpes after my first outbreak a couple years ago (genital location but type 1, or as it is commonly called, cold sores).  I was in a serious monogamous relationship, and we found out we had it together (I had an outbreak, he got tested and was positive).  We worked through it and stayed together for over a year after the discovery.  We broke up months ago for reasons unrelated to herpes.  

I used to go on lots of dates and get asked out all the time by men, but after the breakup everything is different.  I feel like I don't get asked out at all anymore, I rarely go out on weekends, and I am now finding it incredibly difficult to start dating again.  I want to have another relationship, but I have no idea where to begin dating now that I have herpes.  I know that if I was not infected and a man told me he had herpes, I would not date him.  What do I do?  How does that conversation go?  When should I tell the person that I have herpes?  Why is it that tons of people have cold sores on their mouths and they never say anything to people they date unless they are experiencing an outbreak?  AND why is it that no one seems to care if they kiss a person who has oral cold sores, as long as there isn't a current outbreak?  
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4 Comments Post a Comment
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Have you read the herpes handbook yet and watched the patient counseling video at www.westoverheights.com? if not, both are terrific and free resources that I highly recommend.

So what's keeping you home more? Your friends all settled down now and not going out as much? just don't feel like it? got out of the habit of going out?

grace
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Avatar_n_tn
There are dating websites for herpes carriers.  I wonder if anyone has any experience with them.

To potentially infect a new partner is very difficult situation.

I have herpes on the mouth, and I was told that I shouldn't kiss people around the time i have a coldsore.  But I think there's still a risk to spread the virus for kissing without any coldsores.

For genital herpes, it's the same.  In fact most people don't have recurring symptoms.
I heard that even condoms don't even guarantee safety from herpes.

Richard
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Avatar_m_tn
I joined HerpesDatingFree.org on June 10, 2012 and within a week Tom and I were talking on the phone. We met for the first time on June 24, 2012 and had dinner, took a walk and got to know each other. We have now been dating for seven months and couldn't be happier. Not only to we share a love of horses and animals in general but found we have quite a bit in common. If it had not been for HerpesDatingFree.org we would have never met. Thank you!
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Congrats.  I am glad you are doing well, and I wish you two the best.  Thanks for stoping in. : )
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