Did he cheat?

I was diagnosed with genital herpes recently. I have never had an outbreak before this or noticed anyone I have been with before having one. I do have a bad sexual past with a lot of partners but have ALWAYS gotten tested on a regular basis. I have been with my fiance for 4 years and never had any problems with me or him.  Then out of no where I was shaving my lady part and nicked it.  A few days later there was a painful outbreak which I later found out was caused from HSV-2.  I have been completley faithful with him and I can't speak for him but I didn't think he would cheat.  He mentioned a previous girlfriend had a test for herpes, it came back inconclusive, tested again and it was negative.  He has never had an outbreak on his genitals or mouth and neither had I before all this. We' ve always had unprotected sex with no problems.  Many websites say it usually happens 2 weeks after becoming infected.  My question is, is there any way one of us could've been carrying this all this time with no outbreaks or symptoms? Or is it more likely that he cheated and just contracted it and them gave it to me recently?

[gracefromHHP]

there are no long term side effects to any of the herpes antivirals. no worries there!

have you  been back to be tested for yeast and bacterial infections vaginally? BV especially can mimic herpes recurrences as well as cause them so it's well worth going back to be properly tested for it since recurrences are so frequent for you right now.

[petal130]

How were you diagnosed as having genital herpes? Post the numeric results of your test here so we can better help you.

[turtles05]

I don't have the results I had to give it to welfare for proof so I can get prescription coverage and I didn't make a copy. It just said positve for the HSV2 virus,  I have had about 4 outbreaks in the last 3 months. I will try to either call the dr. and get them to give me the numbers over the phone or get another copy. I didn't know about the numbers until this reading this website. What do the numeric results mean?

[turtles05]

I had an outbreak and he took a culture with a swab of the sore.

[gracefromHHP]

A positive culture won't have numbers with it.

any idea if your culture was just + for herpes or was typed to know if it's hsv1 or hsv2?

You will need to check to see if you've ever been tested for herpes prior to this. odds are you have never been tested for it with your previous std testing.

has your partner been tested yet to know his status? odds are he's never been tested for herpes ever either.

grace

[turtles05]

yea it's HSV-type 2. and I was never tested for herpes before this because they said they can only get a test if you are having a breakout.  I just got tested for HIV and Hep C on friday so I am waiting for the results. My fiance and I went to Planned Parenthood a week before I had my first breakout and requested STD tests. They only tested us for gonherra syphillis (syphilis) and HIV the routine ones. We were both negative for all of those.  He has not gotten tested for herpes yet because I was told that you had to have a breakout, I think someone said they can tell if you were exposed to it before? I'm not sure. But he is in a halfway house program for the next 5 months so he can't get tested until then as far as I know.  

[briar_rose58201]

As someone who recently got tested at Planned Parenthood here is what I can tell you.  You can get an HSV test 1 & 2 done by blood work.  It will NOT tell you when you got the virus nor will it tell you where the virus is-just that you have it.  It will take up to 10 days to get the results back.  When you get them back please post the results for Grace to review and let you know how to proceed.  The whole testing procedure will take less then 30 minutes from the time you walk in till the time you walk out.  Depending on the conditions of the half way house he maybe able to go.

[gracefromHHP]

You can request type specific herpes igg blood testing for your partner to see what his status is for hsv1 and hsv2. Some PP offer this testing but sounds like this one doesn't?  

[turtles05]

so is there anyway to tell if I got this from him? other then if he's not infected with it?  and Do u need my complete test results?

[gracefromHHP]

if you both get type specific herpes igg blood tests done and one of you tests + and the other negative, then you'd know but that needs done as early into the ob as possible in order for it to provide those answers.

[turtles05]

Ok I guess it wont really change anything anyways if he did or didn't.  Right now I feel as if no one else is gonna ever want to be with me now that I have this disease.  It's hard enough admitting it to Drs. and my family, I don't want to have to tell anyone else.  I've been having a lot of outbreaks seems like every 2-3 weeks, If I get another one soon they are going to put me on Valtrex daily. If thats the case is there any risks or side effects that you know of? and will that be for the rest of my life I'd have to take it or just for a lil bit? I really appreciate your help. I hate not being able to talk to anyone about it and the nurses at my Drs. don't seem to be too compassionate.  So thank you for helping me it really means a lot.

[turtles05]

Nevermind about my medicine questions I found a forum to help answer those questions. Thanks again

[RHG97]

The results are immaterial.  One in Five people have genital herpes. Most are asymptomatic. Either if you could have the virus and could have had it for years without symptoms, which were triggered by skin trauma. Don't let this effect your relationship if you are happy! if you trust him, then don't allow this to cast doubt.

[RHG97]

And dear, herpes is not a death sentence! After contracting, I met and married the love of my life. He was fine with it.  I recommend www.******.com for support. They saved my sanity!

[RHG97]

One last thing...I take lysine everyday. valtrex gives me headaches and lysine works better for me. Visit your local natural health store for help!

[DiDiva]

Do you mind if I ask a quick question? First off, I'm sorry to hear you've confirmed a herpes diagnosis, I hope you and your partner do ok with this and figure out who has what so you can move on together.  Was the swab you got done on an obvious outbreak, like loads of big blisters around the vagina, or was it on a red raw area, or a long papercut type lesion? Did you have itching or chills etc with it?

[gracefromHHP]

there are no long term side effects to any of the herpes antivirals. no worries there!

have you  been back to be tested for yeast and bacterial infections vaginally? BV especially can mimic herpes recurrences as well as cause them so it's well worth going back to be properly tested for it since recurrences are so frequent for you right now.

[turtles05]

Yes I get bv ALL the time every time we have sex without a condom or when I use tampons it seems I get one.  My fiance and I went together to Planned Parenthood hoping there was something we could do to stop it and we got tested incase it was trich (but the metro gel will get rid of it until the next contact so I knew it had to be it I've had it for years) they said there was nothing they could give us and that some women just get them like that and I could use the metro gel just one time instead of 5 days. When I spoke with my regular OB they said that we can take flagyl at the same time and it should stop and it's not ok to keep taking that medicine like that and that if the bv persists then I'd have to get testing done.  How to I select best answer for someone?   Thanks

[turtles05]

nevermind I wasn't logged in!

[turtles05]

You are definatley right! Things could be A LOT worse off for me.  I guess I'm just so ashamed and disgusted right now it's very new and I gotta just except the fact that it is incurable. I thank you for your time and advice. My fiance was very supportive.. almost in a scary way. He said I want what you got and like does not wanna use protection if I'm havin a breakout. I just can't see how anyone in their right mind would feel that way. I'm glad he didn't accuse me of anything and I almost feel bad for feeling differently. I've just had too many people tell me he was cheating to not assume anything. regaurdless i do have a 6 year old little girl and I have to do what's best for her.. so if that means sucking it up and not worry about how embarrassed I may be telling a new partner of this crap I gotta do it.
  My counselor was telling me about something like that I guess she gets them on her list and I forget what it's called might be that I have it written down somewhere and she said it works great and she hasn't had anybreak outs.  So far I've been ok on valtrex but if i have problems I will try that.

[turtles05]

With my first breakout I first noticed a red rash that burned very badly. Then in a few days there was a bump kinda white-ish it looked like an insect bite. My fiance said it was probably an ingrown hair ( not even a week before I had my 1st b.o. we were tested for STD's but not herpes.) because I had just cut myself shaving down there. But it HURT like hell. If i peed on it it would burn and itch so bad I had to get creative to go ( FYI don't use cortisone cream my dr. said that would make it spread just keep it clean and dry I used neosporin and baby powder ) but I didn't not get chills or flu-like symptoms. My legs hurt a little (but I'm on methadone and that's common with withdrawl (withdrawal) symptoms for me until my dose kicks in).  So I prayed and wished and was trying to covince myself it was just an ingrown hair and everything would be ok. Well I had a pap smear scheduled already so I probably went like 3-4 days after my o.b before getting tested. My dr. took one look and said looks like herpes prob type 1. WTF? Sooo many thought went through my head and I just broke down and cried hoping he was waaay off and it was an ingrown hair. NOPE i tested positive for gHSV2. Honestly it DID NOT look like clusters like he said it just looked like a small white bump like you really don't even notice it just looking at it but I feel em. So far nothing huge they feel big as **** but they are pea sized little white bumps aroung my labia.   Hope this answered your question and thank you for your compassion.

[gracefromHHP]

I've gotten good results myself from using fem dophilus by jarrow. it's a probiotic that has been shown in multiple studies now to colonize the urogenital tract in us gals to help replace our "good" bacteria so that we get vaginitis less often. I had bv almost non-stop for over 4 years and still get it easily and it's really made a difference. I start taking it 2x/day and treat my bv and then just keep taking it 2x/day for awhile and then when things have been calm down yonder, I back down to 1x/day. Had to do that for about 6 months and finally broke the cycle.  You have to keep it in the fridge but it really has worked for me and many other people I've recommended it to over the years.

If you don't trust your partner, it makes everything harder. Have you considered counseling for the 2 of you? You don't want to marry someone who you don't trust so it's worthwhile to work through these issues now before you tie the knot.  If you both have addiction issues, counseling is helpful for those issues too so you can both be strong to work through this all together :)

[DiDiva]

Hey thanks for taking the time to describe your outbreak. Best wishes to you.

[turtles05]

I'm sorry to hear that you've had bv like that it is a HORRIBLE problem to have. Do you get a prescription for fem dophilus? Well I'm glad that you were able to get it under control I will ask about it. My drs. are probably sick of me calling up there!! I'm pretty sure I'm having an infection right now ( I hope this doesn't mean i'm gonna have a break out too :(  but this time i did not have sex or use tampons it just happened out of no where not good.  We both have like 2 counselors one for our depression issues and 1 for our addiction problems. They are all different counselors though my 1 asked a while ago if we'd like to talk with her and I refused. I'm just gonna take it day by day and focus on my daughter and myself and pray it all works out!   I thank you for all of your time and advice you are awsome!