Do I have Herpes

hCan someone please help me out.  I made a mistake and messed around outside my marriage about 8-9 weeks ago.  I had protected sex but had oral performed on me as well, with a married woman.  About 3 weeks ago I noticed several small white infected hairs on my big toe, and one on the inside of my thigh.  Nothing in the groin region though.  I saw my doctor and he gave me an antibiotic for this - and they have gone away except for a little bit of skin discoloration, so you can tell they were there.  I've also been having back pain - doctor diagnosed as too much sitting (drive about 6 hrs a day) and tightness in my legs / thighs.  The past couple of weeks I've also had a very stiff neck, and swelling in my throat area.  

My wife, in the meantime, had an absess (abscess) in her groin about 2 months ago - shortly after my exposure.  Dr gave her antibiotics and it went away immediately.  Recently (2 weeks ago) she had an extremely sore throat for a couple of days, but it went away.  Yesterday her soar throat and hoarseness were back - but today the soar throat is gone, but she still doesn't have much of a voice.  My symptoms meanwhile have been tingling in my lower back, groin, legs, and feet, and the persistent stiffness in my neck.  

Can anyone give me some advice?  I have a Dr.'s appt today and am going to request a full STD test.  I'm scared out of my mind, as I do not want to lose my marriage and my family over my stupid mistake.  I know I screwed up and I'm terribly nervous about all of this.  HELP!

[bobrope45]

None of this sounds like herpes. Herpes presents itself with lesions/blisters in the genital area.

If you are having symptoms in the genital area, be seen by a doctor. If they suspect herpes, they can swab it and you get a prompt answer.

[Rhino59]

I did have one small, faint, mark on the head of my penis - it showed up a week ago and it's almost gone.  It was small in size (less than 1cm, less than 1/4") and painless and it did not "blister" up - it just looked like a small, non-raised shiny spot on the skin.  I don't know if that makes any sense or not.  I have not noticed any puss or discharge coming out of it, and now after a week it's practically gone.  What about the achiness in my muscles and tingling?

[gracefromHHP]

that doesn't sound like herpes at all.

sore throats are common this time of the year. many folks around you sick with upper respiratory illnesses already. no reason to suspect that's std related at all.

you've evidently had a bacterial skin infection as has your wife.   if either of you should get a recurrence of symptoms, follow up on them properly.

we recommend protected sex because it works! You can get std's from unprotected oral but the risk of those are very low too. we don't even recommend std testing from unprotected oral unless you develop symptoms the risk is so low. Sounds like your guilt is the real issue here, not your real risk of having contracted a std from the encounter in question.

grace

[Rhino59]

Thanks Grace.....yes, my guilt is a big issue....I just wanted to make sure it was the ONLY issue.  I met with my Dr today and had blood drawn for HIV / HSV-2 testing so hopefully I'll have a little piece of mind soon.  Thanks so much for the comments.  

To anyone else who's out there reading this who might have went outside thier marriage like me...it's just not worth it.  Lust is such a deceitful emotion....it makes all the promises in the world but delivers nothing but negative feelings and emotions in the end.  SA is a good organization for someone like me who knows they need to deal with lust and just needs the support to do it.  Hopefully by joining SA I can go to THAT group instead of having to join a Herpes support group someday.  Thank you for this forum and for those that replied back to me.