Got herpes from someone who didn't know?

My story: I have had 3 partners in the last 14 months, each of which for a few months at a time - in summary, i don't sleep around or have casual sex. I ended one relationship on Dec 21st and began another on Feb 11.  As I do every 3 months, I had a full suite of STD tests in between. On Feb 2nd  I received a negative blood test for herpes.  At the beginning of April I got a water blister near my vagina that turned into a small burning sore. It was very isolated - no flu symptoms, no swollen glands, nothing but the sore. Still my MD put me on Valtrex. A week later I got back a positive result for herpes. I know have the recurring dosage of Valtrex on hand should I have another outbreak.

Questions:
1. My partner was in shock. Hysterics. We are still together.  All tests indicate that he was the one who gave it to me but I know that if he had ever had even slight symptoms in the past he would remember. And I know that if he had had any kind of outbreak during our relationship he would have told me.  We bathe together, spend all of our time together.  Is it possible that he gave it to me without having an outbreak? And may never have ever had one?
2. What should I expect now? Do outbreaks come with any regularity? Might I never have another one? If I do, can I expect it to be the same severity as last time? Can I do much to hold them off other than the Valtrex?

Thank you for any help you can offer.

[gracefromHHP]

Has your partner been testd to know his own status?

What test result did you have come back +? do you know if you have hsv1 or hsv2?

it's estimated that 70% of all newly acquired genital herpes infections occur when the infected partner didn't have any symptoms.

The herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com and the patient counseling video on the site are both terrific resources to learn more about herpes. check them out when you get a chance.

grace

[daisy315]

First off your current b/f needs to be checked,it may have been your previous b/f who gave it to you and you returned a negative result if you tested too soon.

Questions
1.  It is very likley he didn't know due to never having had any symptoms  

2. You may or may not have fairly regular outbreaks,you may never have another one or they may be infrequent,not all individuals are identical where outbreaks are concerned,usually the first outbreak is the most severe future outbreaks are rarely as bad as a primary outbreak,yaking Suppressive Therapy will lessen outbreaks but may not stop them altogether. As for what you do now well a lot depends on whether your b/f is infected or not or whether you aquired the infection from someone else.

Daisy

[notme74]

Thank you for your response.
I had a blood test with a negative herpes result on Feb 2 before I was intimate with my current partner.
I had a positive culture for type 2 when I had my outbreak, which was mild. .
I am scheduled for another appointment in June and expect to have blood tests again that will be consistent with the culture for type 2.

You wrote: "it's estimated that 70% of all newly acquired genital herpes infections occur when the infected partner didn't have any symptoms."

So does that mean that you don't have to be exposed to blisters to get it? So if you have sex with someone who has tested positive for herpes you can get it even if they are not having a current outbreak? And I can now pass it on regardless of whether I am having an outbreak?

I'm a well educated, experienced 35 year old woman and I was completely mis-informed. That's scary.

[petal130]

If you take a look at the handbook that Grace referred to, you'll read about viral shedding. This is when the virus is active - and thus can be transmitted - but causes no outward symptoms for the person transmitting it. I in fact was infected by my partner this way - he has had oral HSV1 since he was a teen, and never in our six years together had an outbreak (we're both in our forties). He transmitted it to me genitally through oral sex. And yep, get in line as to being intelligent, educated, well-read, yada yada - neither of us had an inkling this could happen.

The sweet, sweet thing about it is - it's not cancer! It's not heart disease! It's not diabetes, or (fill in the blank with some serious, life-threatening illness!). It's a simple 'ole skin condition that unfortunately comes with a crappy social stigma. I'm still in a great relationship with a wonderful man - I'm no different than the day before I got this.

[notme74]

thank you for those details and encouragement.
i'm getting used to knowing i have this and am oddly relieved to hear that my partner gave this to me without knowing it. i never suspected otherwise, but this is good confirmation.

question - he has type 2 and has never had an outbreak. i have type 2 and have had a single outbreak on my vagina.  should we fully abstain from oral sex or use condoms with oral sex (i can barely type this options, as it's not something i ever imagine considering but worth asking) what do couples do when they both have it but i really don't want to get something that could be visible on my face down the road - type 1/cold sores etc.

thanks for ongoing support