Got the Rug Pulled Out From Under Me

[wonder2345]

I was recently diagnosed with genital herpes...never had any vaginal sores - married 15 years/unhappily.  Apparently, my husband knew and assumed that I knew as well.  What brought all this out was that I had an affair with a man which I knew and we had unprotected sex.  Well I guess the stress from cheating along with everything else caused me to have an outbreak...still no sores.  Just had severe heat coming from my vagina, leg and buttocks pain.  Mind you I have 2 children which I delivered vaginally and thank God they are fine.  Anyway, my OBGYN tested me at 5 1/2 weeks after exposure for all STDs along with HIV, HSV 1 & 2 , Hep B - all came back negative except for the HSV 2.  This outbreak was so bad that it affected the right side of my face, eye, ear..very hot and developed an ear infection; right side of lower lip twitched on and off for 2 -3 days-Bell's Palsy.  Any how have been really scared.  This outbreak happened in the 2nd week in Feb.'08 and to date, I still have slight pain on and off in my legs and I seem to have developed my vericose veins.  I still get pain in my buttocks on an off.  Could this be stressed induced?  Since I am going to also get tested for HIV again in another week?  Tested negative at 5.5 weeks, 10 weeks/Oraquckand 11 weeks/Oraquick.  I know this seems extreme but I have 2 small children who need me as I need them not to mention the guilt, etc.  Also, my arms feel tight at times...veins seem to bulge out more than usual. I feel broken...I always considered myself healthy...I'm muscular, workout, etc.  Unitl recently, now I feel damaged.  Note:  The man I had the affair with  tested negative 4 months after his last relationship and went to his doctor to get tested for HSV2 along with STDs in Feb'08 and all came back negative.  I just want to feel the way I use to and now I find myself over analyzing everything...leg, arm, groin, etc.  Any advice.

[life goes on]

Please read my post again.

Thank you.

[waringblender]

Okay, "Ronnie," now you're telling us you tested positive for HSV2, but in another post, you said you don't have your test results back. WTF???

Ronnie, you need to calm down. Your story at this point makes no sense. No wonder there are so many exclamation points in your post. You are clearly distraught. I agree that herpes should not be a reason to bail on a marriage. Wow.

[gracefromHHP]

I sure hope there's more to this than just leaving your husband due to hsv2!!!

grace

[life goes on]

I happen to be in the same situation as you!  My Husband of 6 years (together 10 yrs) has had Herpes for years and failed to inform me.  His wife!  On March 10th I recieved the news that I had tested positive for HSV2.  I have been through such an emotionally rollacoaster!  I have made the decision to leave this marriage.  I have children and this is going to be so hard on them.  I learned today from my doctor that even with protected sex there is a 2% chance of transmitted the virus on to others for every 8 months your initmate.  Your at risk even without visible signs of outbreak exposures!  I'm 32 years old and I feel like the world is closing in on me.  I can't see myself being intimate again.  I just can't risk hurting someone like that!    

[wonder2345]

Once again, thank you.  All the best.

[gracefromHHP]

Studies have found that about 80% of folks who have hsv2 have symptoms - it's just that they aren't recognizing them as such.  If you and your provider are looking for "classic" blister like lesions or even obvious ulceration - you might not see them. For some folks it's more likely to present as redness, irritation, anal symptoms, uti like symptoms etc.  Now that you know you are infected you might be able to start recognizing symptoms that before you didn't think twice about.  Of course you also could be one of the 20% who are truly asymptomatic with their hsv2 infections. Only time will tell.

I'm glad you and your spouse are working thru this.  Don't hesitate to consult a professional if need be - sometimes it's helpful to have a 3rd party helping you thru it but of course finding the right one who fits with you isn' t always easy.

grace

[wonder2345]

Thank you for the advice.  I will contact me doctor should it ever happen again.  Regarding my spouse, we are working through this. Hopefully it'll get back to what it was, if not better.  

Just one quick question:  is it possible to have HSV2 and never have sores internally or externally?  Reason:  They tested me for internal sores and it came back negative and my OBGYN also examined me for external sores and found nothing.  Believe you me, I'm not complaining...I feel very lucky in that aspect.  Just curious.  Thanks again!

[gracefromHHP]

I think you are over analyzing everything at this point.  Obviously since your last partner tested negative for hsv2 then you've had this for awhile and never knew it.  It is not the cause behind your continued leg pain. It isn't the cause of the bell's palsy.  

The next time you feel genital symptoms - see your provider for an exam. Perhaps even though you aren't able to see obvious lesions yourself your provider can to help you figure out if the feelings of heat you have had in the past in the genital area are due to herpes or something else.  Just because you have hsv2 - doesn't mean that everything that goes on in between your legs is due to herpes.

Are you and your husband in counseling to work on your relationship?  If you ended the relationship are you in counseling to work on  your own issues so that you can be healthy inside and out for your kids?

grace

[wonder2345]

I was never told that I had HSV2 Orally but I did have those symptoms on my face, eye and ear.  I don't have HSV1.  Didn't know that I could have HSV2 orally.  I have never had any facial or vaginal sores.  And yes, my husband never told me.  

[gracefromHHP]

So your husband also has hsv2 and never told you? am I getting that right?

You have genital herpes and they are also telling you that you have hsv2 orally that caused bell's palsy on your face?

Sorry if I"m seeming dense but I want to make sure I"m understanding this before I comment more.

grace