HSV-1 how possible and how to prove.

Me and my Boyfriend have been together for a year, we have been having sex for about 3 years. When we started our relationship a year ago I did all lots of tests to be cleared and all were negative. Since then we have been together and never had any problems. We the break up for a couple of month, he told me that a girl gave him oral sex 2 wees after wee break up, I didnt do anything with anyone all that time. When we got back together after 3 days i had a pain in between my vigana and my anus it was a bit swollen so i went to the doctors who said that it was just an irritation, she gave me some cream and few days later it was gone and then my boyfriend has been dignosed with HSV-1 which is as he said a primary infection he thinks that I slept with someone else and gave it to him when it is absolutely no true. I get cold sore sometime but we always have been careful and never had any problems and I dont understand how  it is possible that he gets an outbreak now when i havent had cold sore in ages and that I didnt had any symptomes. Please I need help, I dont understand what happened and Have always been faithful to my boyfriend who just break up with me because of that....

[gracefromHHP]

you don' t have to have obvious cold sores present in order to transmit your oral herpes to your partner through oral sex.  

what testing did he have done to confirm that he has hsv1 genitally?

how long after he had received oral sex from a different partner did his genital symptoms start?

grace

[travel2010]

Grace Thank you for your answer,

Yes but I would have known if I had one even if it is not obvious no?? He had i think a swab as well as a blood test as they didnt know if it was herpes or molluscum contagieusum. And they called him to say that it was HSV1 and apparentely a primary infection too ( but he called them again to know if it was a primary infectionand and he told me that it was but i dont have any prove of that). He received oral sex 2 weeks after spleeting up so I would say that symptoms started about 4 or 5 weeks after. So about 4 days after geting back together which is really strange as he is the only on to have had another partner and that we have always been faithful to each other.
Is it possible to tell for how long you have had the disease and if i am the one who gave it without knowing? we never had any problems before.. and he is sure that i am lying its horrible to be in that situation. Thank you so much for your answer and it would be so helpful if you coud get back to me i am in lots of pain and really dont understand what is happeneing...

[gracefromHHP]

odds are it came from you since symptoms occurred that long after he had oral sex from a different partner.  

you both already knew you had hsv1 orally. as I already said, you don't have to have obvious cold sores present in order to transmit the virus to a partner through oral sex.

[travel2010]

Thank you very much for your answers it really help even if I dont think that my boyfriend will never speak to me again which is unfair!! If I knew I had a coldsore I wouldnt have done anything and there is nothing that i can do to prove him that i have been faithfull and that it was the only partner I had for more than a year. It is strange that it arrived at the worst time ever and there is nothing that i can do. In 3 years he has never caught anything how come he gets something now?

I know that its more unlikely but can I get HSV-1 vaginal infection if i do get coldsore on my lips?

Thank you

[gracefromHHP]

correct, you have significant protection from contracting hsv1 genitally from a partner.  http://www.ashastd.org/herpes/herpes_learn_oralherpes.cfm is a  terrific link with more info that perhaps both you and your partner will benefit from. also the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com also has useful info for the two of you too to help you work through this.

grace

[travel2010]

Thank you very much Grace I will be more careful now but how do I know now when not to....?
You have been so much of a help, even if my bf decided not to talk to me ever again as he thinks that i lied to him.

Many thanks

[gracefromHHP]

your bf needs to better educate himself on his hsv1 genital infection.  also not talking to someone is very immature.  

best you can do is discuss this is any future partners. let them know you know you have hsv1 orally. as you already do, avoid oral sex and kissing when you have a cold sore. get your partner tested and if they are hsv1 negative, discuss together if only having protected oral sex is worthwhile. also remember that there are many std's out there and discuss testing for them too.

grace