HSV1 Genital Transmission

[heather2000]

I am a female, 35 and was diagnosed with Genital HSV1 in March of 2007 after acquiring it from oral sex that was performed on me.  Diagnosis was confirmed by a swab my doctor took and tested.  Was negative for HSV2.  I had my initial outbreak which was pretty severe but have never had an outbreak since that time.  I am seeing someone new and we have engaged in very moderate sexual contact at this point.  However, I am interested in going to the next level with him.  My question is do you feel that after 2 years without no additional outbreaks I should inform him of my prior infection?  I know you say the likelyhood of transmission genial to genital is rare but can you elaborate?  Should I use a condom to be safe?  Just looking for some guidance and suggestion. I don't want him to freak out and run for the door if I tell him this at this point in the relationship.
Thank you so much.

[daisy315]

If you have been diagnosed with HSV1 genitally you risk transmitting it to him via unprotected sex it is also easier for genital HSV1 to transmit Orally to someone via Oral sex too ..... although transmission risk is higher in the presence of an outbreak that is not to say it cannot happen just because no outbreak is there .......
So you have two choices 1. Tell him in advance of intimacy or 2. Use a condom at all times until you feel comfortable enough to tell him ......
I personally don't advocate the need to tell every sexual partner we may meet providing great care is taken to protect them from transmission,this however is just my personal view and could quite easily stir up a debate lol .....
My reason for the way i feel about not divulging my personal business is that I may go through all the emotional trauma of explaining this very private thing only to find I may be rejected because of it and all that was achieved was to be the subject of coffee break gossip and possibly the people I thought were Friends would have a different view of me which I would find desperately hurtful and affect me much more emotionally than my HSV ever has,because people can be very cruel about things they have never been faced with themselves and are ignorant of,I personally am not prepared to take that risk particularly when I am far from a promiscuous person and those who would be quick to judge are much more sexually active than have ever been but have just been very lucky to dodge the bullet so to speak,so i will not sit in judgement of those people, I will tell the person I want to be with for the rest of my life but not a relationship I know won't go the distance anyways.
No one tells us they have had Gonorrea,Chlamydia Crabs and the like in the past simply because they get a course of tablets and it's gone so their little secret is safe from the coffee room gossips.
I am not saying this is the right thing to do and everyone is entitled to their own way of dealing with it all I am saying is this is what feels right for me I do not intend to go through my life furnishing every guy I meet with details of my private life all I am prepared to do is my very best to avoid transmitting HSV to them by taking every precaution possible ...... Lets face it we all kiss lots of Frogs before we finally kiss our Prince and I for one refuse to be gossiped about on the Lilly Pond meantime lol .....
If anyone finds my way of thinking totally wrong then so be it .... it's an opinion and we all have one to which we are all equally entitled to .....

Daisy  

[bernard109]

Does he have HSV-1 (cold sores)??  If so, his antibodies should preclude the possibility of transmission.  Find out if he has cold sores; you may be able to avoid the situation entirely!

[bernard109]

I understand where you're coming from, and I don't think it makes you a bad person to decide to live that way.  If someone is that concerned with you having herpes prior to sex, they can ask for an STD report, in which case you'd probably stop talking to them.  In the absence of one of your sexual partners asking for an STD report, THEY bear the risk.  Carp Diem.  

My girlfriend told me prior to us dating, but I assume I've been exposed to the virus around 3-4 times, perhaps more.  I assumed the risk.  

It's life.  There are no guarantees.

[daisy315]

Having HSV1 in no way gives any guarantee of protection against contracting HSV2 it may lessen the risk very very slightly but not enough to assume it will prevent it happening.

Daisy  

[bernard109]

If you read the initial post, it is a genital HSV-1 infection, not HSV-2.  I agree with your statement; however, it is inapplicable to the facts of this thread.

[gracefromHHP]

My take on this is - if you aren't talking about what you know you have, what are they not talking to you about too?  Also if you don't disclose your hsv1 status, it opens you up potentially to legal action if he feels that he's contracted hsv1 from you.

Part of being a sexually responsible adult is talking to potential partners about std's and testing. Most folks are not getting tested and just assume that if they had something they'd know.  Other folks think they are getting properly tested for std's and don't realize that they are only getting tested for 2 or 3 of them.    It's in your best interest to talk to  a partner about everything and not just assume that a condom is protection enough.  Also if you think it's hard to talk about std's and your herpes prior to sex with someone, trust me when I say it doesn't get any easier talking about it several months down the road.  

It's totally your choice whether to talk about your herpes or not - whether it's oral herpes or genital herpes and regardless of type but ask yourself how you'll explain why you felt you didn't have to talk about it when a few weeks into a relationship you get a recurrence and have to explain why suddenly you aren't wanting to go at it like rabbits like you had been  up until then.  

grace