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HSV1 Risk
My previous posts would indicate that the subject of contracting STDs, and specifically herpes has caused me a great deal of distress, but I've managed to attain an acceptable level of sanity, which has kept me away from this site for some time. I now go through a cumbersome process of testing myself and new partners for STDs, including herpes every time I begin a new sexual relationship. Given the statistics, I have found myself remarkably lucky to continue meeting women who do not test positive for HSV I or II.
That said, I recently began dating someone who suffers from occasional cold sore outbreaks and I'm trying to get a decent idea of my risks for contracting the virus. It seems to me that it would be a forgone conclusion that, should this relationship continue for any length of time, I would likely become infected at some point, as there really is no way to determine when asymptomatic shedding is occurring, but it appears that shedding does occur around 20% of the time.
Am I mistaken in my understanding of the statistics or is it reasonable to assume that a long term relationship with a known sufferer of cold sores would eventually result in an infection of my own...even if it causes no symptoms for me? Given my history, I don't think I have the mental makeup to handle the associated risks.
That said, I recently began dating someone who suffers from occasional cold sore outbreaks and I'm trying to get a decent idea of my risks for contracting the virus. It seems to me that it would be a forgone conclusion that, should this relationship continue for any length of time, I would likely become infected at some point, as there really is no way to determine when asymptomatic shedding is occurring, but it appears that shedding does occur around 20% of the time.
Am I mistaken in my understanding of the statistics or is it reasonable to assume that a long term relationship with a known sufferer of cold sores would eventually result in an infection of my own...even if it causes no symptoms for me? Given my history, I don't think I have the mental makeup to handle the associated risks.
Best Answer
I disagree with the entire approach of HSV1 being some determinant of whether you will enter a relationship with someone. Relationships are there for love, compatibility, companionship, joint interests, different interests etc.
It is not at all rational or emotionally healthy that HSV1 and its absence would head this list!
It is irrelevant what the shedding rates etc. etc.
The only statistic of relevance is that up to about half of married couples where one is HSV1+ will transfer the virus to the other.
If you like this woman, then for goodness sake, spend time with her. Life is for living not worrying about irrelevant viruses.
If you happen to be infected, then what is the big deal. Maybe you'll get a cold sore on your lip on rare occasions.
It is not at all rational or emotionally healthy that HSV1 and its absence would head this list!
It is irrelevant what the shedding rates etc. etc.
The only statistic of relevance is that up to about half of married couples where one is HSV1+ will transfer the virus to the other.
If you like this woman, then for goodness sake, spend time with her. Life is for living not worrying about irrelevant viruses.
If you happen to be infected, then what is the big deal. Maybe you'll get a cold sore on your lip on rare occasions.
I'm not sure that fairness really comes into play here; I suppose it depends on one's perspective, but I'm asking to see if anyone has a good handle on risk assessment, as I realize how uncommon and impractical my testing practices are and quite frankly, I like this woman.
I read from one study that indicated the risk of contracting HSV1 during asymptomatic shedding may be around 10%, which seems really high, based on other information I've seen. If there hasn't been enough research to form a true consensus, then so be it, but I didn't think it would hurt to ask if anyone has a good handle on this in statistical terms.
I read from one study that indicated the risk of contracting HSV1 during asymptomatic shedding may be around 10%, which seems really high, based on other information I've seen. If there hasn't been enough research to form a true consensus, then so be it, but I didn't think it would hurt to ask if anyone has a good handle on this in statistical terms.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
If you have a history of anxiety and go through such a cumbersome process of testing every person you date (which is not common practice for most) then why put yourself in a position to fuel your herpes anxiety by dating somebody HSV1 positive? It wouldn't be fair to the person with the virus to have to adjust the way she is around you because of your insecurities on a very common virus.
As mentioned by many of the great contributors on this forum, HSV1 sheds very little and many couples where one is HSV1+ and the other isn't can go a lifetime without infecting the other. It's not as easy as you think, but you never know at the end of the day 100% if you would always be clear of ever contracting that. Nobody can answer that and shedding % are just based on whatever studies have been conducted on the subject, which aren't many.
Reread your last sentence though. It sounds to me you already made a decision. It's not fair for the woman in this scenario to suffer because you have these anxieties and paranoia of contradicting this.
Move on and stick with the women that aren't + since it seems that's the route you rather take.