Has anyone had a succesful relationship while having herpes

[angelinaporina]

I'm a female with ghsv1 and I've had cold sores since I was a kid. I take acyclovir and make sure to use condoms during intercourse. But I can't ever let myself be comfortable with anyone because I'm worried about giving it to them. I've only been with 2 guys since. One knew about it and was okay with it but I still had anxiety about spreading it to him. The last guy I didn't tell completely upfront but I did mention it as cold sores. I really liked him but I couldn't continue seeing him because I knew he was clean and I wasn't and I was too scared to tell him bluntly and I was too scared of infecting him to let myself be with him. I feel as if I will never be able to be with anyone ever again. I will forever have this fear of giving someone else something. I haven't yet but it terrifies me and keeps me up at night. if I preform oral sex on my man and then the next day if there's anything irregular, red, or swollen on my lip I literally feel like I'm dying inside I get so scared of transmission. I know if I'm with someone who already has it it doesn't really matter. But so far that hasn't been the case. I've been with guys that are clean and I can't handle the emotional side.

Am I overreacting or am I being realistic? Because I know girls with cold sores who have boyfriends or have flings with all these guys, how are they not feeling the same way that I am? Has anyone been in my situation and found that with diligence of prevention that they didn't spread it to their partner? I just want to ease my mind and be able to be myself with sex again in a relationship. But most of all I don't want to be the reason someone else gets this. I hope I'm making sense.

If anyone answers I thank you so much in advance. I just need my peace of mind at lease a little bit.

[ehbeedub]

I know several people with genital herpes -- of both types -- who have successfully dated casually and had both long and short term relationships. The people who have been the most sucessful are those who have come to terms with what it means to be infected mentally: that it doesn't make them any less worthy or wonderful as people. (I personally have oral HSV-1 and never even think twice about kissing or engaging with oral sex with my partner of more than a year and a half, and oral HSV-1 sheds even more frequently than genital HSV-1!) It's just a risk that goes along with love and life.

Taking precautions -- like using condoms, avoiding sex during outbreaks, or even daily antiviral therapy -- goes a very, very long way toward preventing transmission to your partner. When you find a worthwhile partner, they should be able to see that this tiny risk is nothing in comparison to the possibilities that can come from a healthy, happy relationship.

[Johnson_28]

If you have HSV1 genitally then you need to always wear condoms and be sure to notice if you might be 'shedding' or having an outbreak. You'll know because of itching or discomfort! If you have it orally, the same rules apply.

But what you need to do is be very upfront with anyone you kiss or engage in sexual relations with. If they like you then they won't care. In fact, they could have oral herpes and not even realize it! Very common problem.

I believe you are being realistic in these situations and your best approach is to be honest and open. Anyone who would 'reject' you for something so silly is either a) not very well informed (and you can fix that with your own research) or b) a jerk!

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, is your hsv1 oral or genital as you mention using a condom for prevention.