Help me figure this out

[hudson228]

Wife for 23 years - just diagnosed with Type 2 Herpes.  Spouse and I both insist we have been faithful all 23 years and we just do not get this.  We have had many discussions in the last couple of weeks and are at a loss as to the cause of this diagnosis.  I had a vaginal sore about 25 years ago and a doctor told me he thought it was herpes - I never had any type of outbreak since then.  My husband had a sore on his penis once even before he met me (26-30 years ago) and he just assumed it was a friction (too much sex) rash.  He has never had any outbreak since then.  What is going on here?  Am I like the Virgin Mary and this is the immaculate conception of herpes or is my husband trying to spare me the truth??  Help!!!  Obviously, this is a critical point in our marriage.    

[daisy315]

It is entirely possible that both of you have had HSV2 for many years or even just one of you and been asymptomatic.not every couple pass the virus over in fact many couples have been married for years where one is + and the other - and it hasn't transmitted,so please don' t jump to conclusions of infidelity at this stage,you both need to get tested. When you do that you're welcome to tell us the results on here and someone will help you understand them.

Daisy

[gracefromHHP]

You've both had symptoms previously of herpes - you just never had a name to go with your symptoms ( well you did - your provider told you they thought you had herpes 25 years ago ).  Why is this stressing out your marriage when you already knew you had it?

grace

[hudson228]

I don't understand what will testing tell us?  I obviously have herpes now that I have been diagnosed and am being treated for the vaginal sore. If my husband tests positive, still what does that tell us?  It just tells us that we both have herpes?  Do you mean that one or both of us could have had this all along without any outbreaks or symptoms for 25 years?    

[gracefromHHP]

Your husband has had a sore on his penis in the past. You have had lesions in the past. Yes indeed either one of you or both of you could've had genital herpes all this time and never knew it.

The herpes handbook and patient counseling video at www.westoverheights.com are free and terrific resources to start learning more about genital herpes. I recommend that you both check them out when you have the chance.  Your situation is far more common than you could ever think.

grace