Aa
Herpes/ HPV risk from sex with 21 year old female. Very worried right now and unsure
Please forgive the graphic explanation of my post but just trying to lay it all out for opinions on what is worrying me very badly. Years ago I was very sexually active and ended up catching HPV (the strain that causes warts). I went through depression the whole 15 months I had small outbreaks occur. I treated all outbreaks and then all of a sudden they never came back again. I completely stopped having sex after that and just concentrated on other aspects of life.
Fast forward to yesterday I haven't shown symptoms in years so was hoping that perhaps I was no danger to anyone now. I ended up meeting a 21 year old college student yesterday afternoon online who only wanted sex. To make a long story short she convinced me to meet up with her and we just had 3 hours of intercourse. During this time I performed unprotected oral on her twice for a few minutes each time and she performed unprotected oral on me twice for a few minutes. The rest of the time was protected with condom vaginal sex in every position possible as well as protected with condom anal sex with her. My concerns with her are her admitting that she has been with probably 50 guys the past 7 years and that she enjoys meeting strangers and having sex. She also told me I did not have to wear a condom but I insisted for any penetration at all. This girl was very attractive and it was so hard for me to turn her down with this meeting and I gave in. Now for 3 hours of fun I have a feeling im going to be spending months torturing myself with worry and wonder. I looked closely at her vagina and anus and saw no visible signs of warts or herpes lesions but I'm quite sure that method is not very effective at all. I just read how herpes can be spread through viral shedding even if symptoms are not present. I am just so scared right now and afraid of being reinfected with HPV or getting herpes that I feel I'm going out of my mind. It was so bad when I got home I poured an entire bottle of 90% alcohol on a bunch of cotton balls and rubbed around my penis, scrotum and everywhere else till I ran out then used a bunch of strong mouthwash and showered. I realize none of that would help prevent one of these HPV or herpes infections but I'm just so worried I did anyhow. She was obviously very promiscuous and didn't mind other guys not wearing condoms so it seems to me like her chances of having caught a herpes or HPV would be very high and of course my chances of getting it high as well since proper condom use still does not protect you from HPV and herpes all the way. Could some please shed some light on my situation and what to expect? I would post in expert forums but apparently you can't right now. I'm so worried and a nervous wreck. Wish I could go back and change what I did. I'm worried I just ruined my life for a few hours of enjoyment.
Fast forward to yesterday I haven't shown symptoms in years so was hoping that perhaps I was no danger to anyone now. I ended up meeting a 21 year old college student yesterday afternoon online who only wanted sex. To make a long story short she convinced me to meet up with her and we just had 3 hours of intercourse. During this time I performed unprotected oral on her twice for a few minutes each time and she performed unprotected oral on me twice for a few minutes. The rest of the time was protected with condom vaginal sex in every position possible as well as protected with condom anal sex with her. My concerns with her are her admitting that she has been with probably 50 guys the past 7 years and that she enjoys meeting strangers and having sex. She also told me I did not have to wear a condom but I insisted for any penetration at all. This girl was very attractive and it was so hard for me to turn her down with this meeting and I gave in. Now for 3 hours of fun I have a feeling im going to be spending months torturing myself with worry and wonder. I looked closely at her vagina and anus and saw no visible signs of warts or herpes lesions but I'm quite sure that method is not very effective at all. I just read how herpes can be spread through viral shedding even if symptoms are not present. I am just so scared right now and afraid of being reinfected with HPV or getting herpes that I feel I'm going out of my mind. It was so bad when I got home I poured an entire bottle of 90% alcohol on a bunch of cotton balls and rubbed around my penis, scrotum and everywhere else till I ran out then used a bunch of strong mouthwash and showered. I realize none of that would help prevent one of these HPV or herpes infections but I'm just so worried I did anyhow. She was obviously very promiscuous and didn't mind other guys not wearing condoms so it seems to me like her chances of having caught a herpes or HPV would be very high and of course my chances of getting it high as well since proper condom use still does not protect you from HPV and herpes all the way. Could some please shed some light on my situation and what to expect? I would post in expert forums but apparently you can't right now. I'm so worried and a nervous wreck. Wish I could go back and change what I did. I'm worried I just ruined my life for a few hours of enjoyment.
And i totally agree with you. But you know what, life is a learning experience and ive learned the 99.99% of my worries always turn out to be just that, a worry.
I appreciate that feedback yesterday but wish I could get over the worry and wonder from waiting. I find myself keeping looking down at groin area expecting to see the start of herpes or warts. I guess this mental phobia or paranoid behavior is common in people who obviously made a mistake in their choices of partners. I'm paying for this one pretty rough mentally and I guess it's the punish,net I needed to make me better rethink my choices next time I'm in this situation to avoid all this stress and anxiety.
I can agree with that fully. In retrospect if I get through this one without my fears coming true I will chalk this up to lesson learned and thoroughly think about my choices next time.
On a side note. The CDC does not recommend testing as a norm. only to high risk groups. So meeting someone on line who states straight away that they want sex, i would consider what group they fall into before exposing myself.
I appreciate you taking the time to answer my question. It's been so long and that past experience with the hot seemed to screw my head up so bad I guess it put me in a state of paranoia. If sex is this traumatic and going to cause me this much worry I guess I need to reconsider whether I need to take part in it again or at least retire once more till I better mentally deal with the worries and such. I appreciate your time again, thank you.
Hi, with her not having any lip or genital sore your risk would be close to zero from a one time protected genital affair, as shedding does occur but not that often. Shedding rates as below"
HSV 2 genital 15-30% of days evaluated
HSV 1 genital 3-5% of days evaluated
HSV 1 oral 9-18% of days evaluated
HSV 2 oral 1% of days evaluated
The critical time is when a sore is there or about to appear, like the day after your affair. Also most often when first time symptoms appear, like flu symptoms it would be in the first week on an average and a sore would appear first.
Testing at the 8 week mark is a good indicator and 3 months for conclusive. But like i mentioned dont loose to much sleep over this.
HSV 2 genital 15-30% of days evaluated
HSV 1 genital 3-5% of days evaluated
HSV 1 oral 9-18% of days evaluated
HSV 2 oral 1% of days evaluated
The critical time is when a sore is there or about to appear, like the day after your affair. Also most often when first time symptoms appear, like flu symptoms it would be in the first week on an average and a sore would appear first.
Testing at the 8 week mark is a good indicator and 3 months for conclusive. But like i mentioned dont loose to much sleep over this.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
