Herpes, STD, friction burn, what?

Hello,

I was with my ex-girlfriend from 2007 and she may have had two partners in the past and I had one.  I'm pretty sure I'm clean for STD's and I'm not sure about her, but I know her well enough that she would have told me.

Anyway, she gave me oral sex and then I did anal on her for the first time for both of us.  Keep in mind, this is my first time having sex orally (in 1.5 years) and anally (first ever).  I used a condom and we didn't have lubricant so we used spit.  It was hard to get in, but we finally managed.  After the long night, I noticed for the next few days, that the upper head of my penis was bright red, looking almost like it could have been a burn or that I may have contracted some sort of STD.  It's been 3 days now and the red seems to have subsided a tiny bit, but not by a lot.

When I go to the bathroom, it doesn't burn when I urinate, nor do I feel the need to go to the bathroom every 2 seconds.  Also, my urine looks fine as well.

I'm just wondering.  What does everyone think of this?  Do you think I could have gotten something or is probably just a fraction burn?

[gracefromHHP]

you used a condom so odds are you didn't contract a std. sounds more like too much trying to shove the lil guy into a tight space without proper lube more than anything.

if you are concerned, see your provider monday for an exam.

grace

[jawstherevenge]

Thank you.  I'm seeing my doctor as well.  I didn't use a condom for the oral part, but that makes me still feel better.  Thank you.

[jawstherevenge]

Grace,

Just a quick question - the redness is on the middle part of the head and it's in a tiny weird patch leading up to the urethra.  Shouldn't a friction burn hurt?  Mine doesn't and that's the only thing that worries me.  

I'm pretty sure I saw the redness the day after so I don't think Herpes can come that quick, but I'm not sure.  It's just red, but no pain whatsoever.  It's just there.

Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

you aren't complaining that it doesn't hurt are you?  

you should worry if it hurts, not if it doesn't hurt.

grace

[jawstherevenge]

Understood.  At times, the red part feels sort of like sunburn.  But that's it.  Like I said, no pain urinating, no need to urinate, and it doesn't burn or make me grimace in pain.  It's just red and feels like sunburn once and awhile.

[jawstherevenge]

TBH, I didn't know if like herpes or something didn't hurt, until sores showed so I was just curious.  Thanks!

[jawstherevenge]

Grace,

I can't get a doctor appointment until August so if you could just answer these few questions.

1) I remember seeing the rash on the top of the head less than 24 hours after we did what we did.  Is that normal for herpes or anything?

2) Just yesterday, I started to have a sore throat and some congestion in the back of it.  Could this be a sign of herpes?

3) I looked more in depth at my head and it looks there are pin size pimples in the red spot and around it.  They are very miniscule though and you wouldn't be able to see unless you looked closer.  Do you think this could be dry skin or sign of herpes?

4) Kind of goes with above.  But like I said, I have no pain whatsoever in my genitals.  My testes feel a bit sore, but I've been working out a lot and my muscles ache from that, so that could be it as well.

5) I'm just kind of wondering that if I caught something, would I be seeing it by now if it happened 4-5 days ago (in terms of blisters or are those little things maybe blisters?)

THANK YOU SO MUCH.  I'm just worried.

[jawstherevenge]

also

6) I have a pain basically from my belly button down to my groin area, which feels like pressure is being applied.  I don't know what that says.

[gracefromHHP]

your sore throat and congestion are not a sign of herpes.

stop looking at your penis so much!  you are taking notice of things that normally you probably never thought twice about.  

this was protected sex and your risk was so low it's not worth worrying about a std about.

grace

[jawstherevenge]

Thanks, Grace.  I know you keep saying I have protected sex, but I did have UNPROTECTED oral sex.  Regardless, thank you so much and you've made me feel a heck of a lot better.

I probably am overworrying.

[Mistakeguy789]

Oral sex is still a LOW risk if your partner had no obvious cold sores.

[jawstherevenge]

Mistakeguy789,

Thanks for your opinion.  Do you have any ideas of what it could possibly be?  Like I said, it showed up less than 24 hours after the incident (could have maybe been there the whole time for all I know) and it's still here now.  Just a weird patch of red.  Like sunburn that won't go away.

[jawstherevenge]

Also Grace,

In the last day,

On the head, in the creases, it's going deeper red in one spot and when I sort of splay out the skin, it looks like a small bump, but it could just be the crease is redder for some odd reason.  I just thought a friction burn would be gone by now.

Thanks.  Again, though, I'm in no real pain and only once and awhile it feels slightly like sunburn, would herpes be hurting even if there were no blisters or anything?  Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

you are manipulating your genitals far too much at this point. If you have to splay out the skin, that's a sign that you need to keep your hands off of things because it only makes it worse.

take your elbow and for the next 20 minutes I want you to try to shove it inside a ketchup bottle. betcha your skin will be red for a few days afterwards don't you think? same thing as when you try to shove your penis into a tight space without enough lube :)

grace

[jawstherevenge]

Haha, good analogy.  I'll just try and leave it alone.  It just seems like it's taking a long time to go away and it's already been almost a week now.  I'm thinking maybe I could have had an allergic reaction at this point.

[jawstherevenge]

Hey Grace,

I took your advice and just didn't bother with it.  Today, while relieving myself, I noticed that another patch of bright red appeared on the left side of the head.  it's the same though.  It doesn't itch, hurt, or anything.

Any advice?  Could it be an allergic reaction?

[gracefromHHP]

odds are it's fungal more than anything.

see your provider as needed.

grace

[jawstherevenge]

Yeah maybe 'cause the newer red part feels sorta dry.  Ah so annoying, what are the usual causes of fungal infections in that region?  Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

we have yeast all over our body. sometimes it overgrows and causes us issues.  try a topical antifungal for jock itch and it it's not better by monday, see your provider.

grace

[jawstherevenge]

Sorry another question-can yeast infections or fungal infections come from oral sex or just wearing condoms? Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

yes

[jawstherevenge]

Ok, well if that's the case, what can I use to help ease it right now?  Because I won't be seeing a doctor for awhile.  Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

usually you can pick up antifungals otc to treat jock itch.

grace

[jawstherevenge]

Shouldn't jock itch, fungal infections, or yeast infections itch though?  I fee like it's just dry skin sorta, it's not oozing or anything.

Also, I've been feeling fatigue as well.  My body itches in weird places as well.

I don't know what the hell is going on, but my partner is getting worried now as well.

[gracefromHHP]

see your provider then. we are very limited as to what we can do here for you.

grace

[jawstherevenge]

Hey Grace,

Ok, so some time has passed since we last talked.  The redness mostly stayed on the head and there were two small red spots on either side of the shaft, but they only felt uncomfortable when it rubbed up on something as if dry skin.  Over the last few days, it seems like on the red parts, it's been peeling like dry skin after sunburn and whatnot so I was wondering if dry skin could create red patches like that after sex.  Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

really nothing more I can add. it's not a herpes issue. continue follow up with your provider as needed.

[jawstherevenge]

Thanks, grace.  Could you direct me to another board that may be able to help?

[gracefromHHP]

online message boards have limits. You need to be following up regularly with your provider, not posting online.

grace

[jawstherevenge]

Grace,

I went to the urologist.  He saw the irritation on the head, and his first thought was that it wasn't herpes, because it was just red and there were no pustules or anything.  He said it COULD be though and that I should test for STDs because some herpes symptoms are just rashes, but he still thought it wasn't that off hand.  Just letting ya know.  Thanks.

[Mistakeguy789]

Who brought up herepes first?  You or him?  If you bring it up they will tend to say that it "could" be HSV. The reason I say this is because they want to most of the time cover the butts.  

Follow your providers advice though since they have seen you directly.  You can do an accurate HSV blood test at 12 weeks.  Request an IgG type specific blood test.

[jawstherevenge]

Hey grace,

I brought up herpes first.  I don't think it really crossed his mind until I said something.  I told him what happened as well.  I said that was my worry and he basically went, "it doesn't look like herpes to me, but you could get a STD check to feel better."  He seemed pretty doubtful that it was, which made me feel better, but it only makes me question what it could be now.

I was going to get a test done soon, but I thought it would be smart if my partner actually got the test first.  If something did get passed, it's more likely we'd get a better readout from there first.

Tell me what you think of that idea.

[jawstherevenge]

Sorry, Mistakeguy, I didn't realize it was you.

[gracefromHHP]

both of you getting tested to see who has what is always a good idea.  odds are you've never been tested before to know your own status either.

[jawstherevenge]

hey grace,

I'm pretty sure I was tested for everything once before.

[gracefromHHP]

pretty sure?  hmmm...I wouldn't accept that if you were my partner!


anyways, it's been over a month now, if this was herpes, it would've been gone by now. only recommended covering the herpes base so you can get herpes off your mind.

[jawstherevenge]

haha grace, i think you know me well enough that i'm a hypochondriac and I don't think you'd want to be dating me in the first place 'cause of that.

All jokes aside...it's actually been 23 days and it's still the same redness and different symptoms here and there.  That was actually one of my questions.  How long does the first outbreak last?  If it's only three weeks or so, things are looking up (in that I don't have herpes probably).

[gracefromHHP]

usually the first ob lasts 2-3 weeks. takes at least 2 days for a newly acquired infection to show up too.  

still think it' s all irritation from trying to shove the lil guy into a tight space without good lube.  keep tellin' all you menfolk on here to be kinder to the lil guy......sigh.

I'd also go to jail for dating you.....lol  I have a son your age!!!!!

[jawstherevenge]

I'm 21 haha, but I won't instigate anything, don't worry.

Well, if it lasts 2-3 weeks and it's almost on it's fourth week now, it's looking better that it still may be an irritation.  Do you think I should put like cortizone cream on it or something?

And what do you mean by at least 2 days to have a new infection?  If someone had herpes, could they have an outbreak...stop...and then 2 days later, have another?

Thanks.

[WarOnTheTerraces]

Jaws im having some of the same symptoms as you, read you inbox

[jawstherevenge]

Just messaged you back, man.

[gracefromHHP]

if anything apply a barrier cream like aquaphor or desitin cream, not a topical steroid.  that protects it as well as helps it heal.

[jawstherevenge]

Just to make sure...no cortizone cream?  Is that a topical steroid?  I don't even know what that is, but I know have cortizone cream here haha and available to use.

[gracefromHHP]

yes, cortizone is a topical steroid. the otc preparations are too strong for our sensitive genital skin.  

[jawstherevenge]

I'll look into that, grace.  I'm feeling like this may not be herpes.  If you say that the initial outbreak lasts that amount of time, then I've already past it really and it's still red.  Are there freak occurences where it could go longer?  Thanks.

[Mistakeguy789]

Grace would tell you if you had something to be worried about.  She is not one to say something without giving you all the information.

[jawstherevenge]

I'm not doubting Grace in the least.  She's been very helpful-I'm just still worried if this herpes or not as I sit at a bball game and the bottom of my testes are slightly tingling and it itches a but in groin area-and it's still blotchy red

[Mistakeguy789]

Welcome to the club of being a guy.  Our "testes" sweat like any other part of our body to cool them down.  Why do you think they hang lower when it is hotter outside?  It is because they get away from the heat of the body... Yet when they are cold they get close to us.  

Sweat causes them to dry and drying can cause itchy and also you could have a fungal infection which will make you itch.  My groin is red and itchy too. Been that way for 4 months now.  :-)  Be seen by your provider for further work up and if they need to they can give you some medicine for it.

[jawstherevenge]

It burned at one point last night too under the testes.  It's just so weird.  Don't mean to be gross, but I masturbated this morning too and the same thing happened, as soon as I was done, the head looked even more blotchy red while the rest was whitish.  It's just a huge blotchy rash all over the glans (glands).  So weird.

[gracefromHHP]

did you ever try treating it as jock itch?

[jawstherevenge]

I haven't, Grace.  I didn't really want to try and do anything with it until I saw the urologist and he doesn't even really know what it is, but just an irritation is his guess.  I didn't want to start medicating it without knowing what it is ya know?

[Mistakeguy789]

Well if you treat for jock itch you will get the answer if it goes away with treatment.  Urologist is the wrong person to see for an issue with the skin.  They are a plumber doctor.  You need a dermatologist at this point.  When you scratch it breaks the skin and causes it to burn.  Again sweat irriates cuts because it has salt.  

[jawstherevenge]

Wasn't the urologist the right person to go to though dealing with STD's and me thinking it was herpes?  Thanks.

[Mistakeguy789]

Not really in genitial herpes it is best to see a dermatolgoist.  Their speciality is the skin and thus their training far better then a urologist in skin issues.

[jawstherevenge]

I'm supposed to see the urologist again in three weeks.  I'm going to wait and see if the redness goes down.

Also, my testicles have been itching a bit more and at one point, stung.  It felt like a sharp tingle when I went to scratch.

[Mistakeguy789]

If you are scratching them then you are not helping the pain.  Think of a misquito bite.  If you scratch at it then it eventually breaks the skin and even though it itches you touch again you will feel that sting.  

Bud right now you have been told by a lot of this it sounds more fungal then anything.  If you refuse to treat it with an OTC then there is nothing more we can do to help you. This really is on you.  You have to start trying to fix the issue.  The longer the issue sits untreated the worse it will get.  Best advice I can tell you now is be seen by a dermatologist get a proper look up by them.  When you are done you will have a lot of answers I am sure and I am willing to bet you dinner they will say it is fungal related.

You can disagree or keep asking "does this itch sound like herpes or does this itch and burn sound like herpes" all day long.  Eventually your question will go unanswered because we have told you what we think.  At some point you have to take matters into your own hands and start to listen to those giving you adivce.  That is why you came here to get our input.  

Let me say this.  My sexual encounter that I was most fearful of Herpes was 1/4/10.  I had oral unprotected with another male.  While I am not proud and it was a dumb move on my part (basically ex-wife left me to be with another woman after being bi-sexual and I figured maybe I am missing something.  I quickly found out I wasn't.) Given this their are times where I will get itchy on my butt or being that I am so heavy I will have some blister under my legs that I pop some liquid followed by blood will come out.  I will check my testicles in the morning if I am overly itchy because I am wondering how bad the fungal infection is getting.  After the amount of testing I have done I remind myself I am negative.  I have been evaluated by plenty of Doctors and Nurses.  I have done my work on things.  I have a fungal infection.  I have treated it but it doesn't help much so I am working with my dermatologist to fix the matter.

The other side to this became guilt vs risk.  Risk in this matter = low.  Your oral sex was low risk.  Not every exposure leads to infection.  There is so much working in your favor that you are letting the guilt at this point I bet get to you.  You are overly watching for things.  Now is the time to say to yourself I am done.  I have asked been told and the only thing left is to go to the dermatologist have them check me ONE last time and then if they have no concerns and say its a fungal infection I will treat it and move on.  That is what you need to do now.  You keep letting yourself think you have something you will be overly controlled by it.  

[jawstherevenge]

Grace + Mistakeguy,

Ok, so Mistakeguy, thanks for that information.  I'm sorry I haven't responded sooner, but I took what you said to heart and just tried not really focusing on it so much.  I haven't seen a dermatologist, but I'm seeing my urologist in a few days.

My partner got herself tested for the standard STD pack (with herpes) so we'll see what comes back with that.

The redness on the head has possibly slightly decreased, but I've been feeling a lot better about things.  For instance, (like you said Grace) if it was herpes, it would have probably gone away by now.  It's been 5.5-6 weeks and it's still red and rash like.  Again, I'm no doctor, but if the usual outbreak is 2-3 weeks then it doesn't really make any sense.  I know we said that also the first outbreak is extremely painful, which I don't have at all.  I don't know if it counts if I don't actually have sores, and it just resembles a redness, but as I said, I'm never truly in pain just uncomfortable at times.  My testicles are still sore once and while and hurt a bit, but that could be with something else, I'm not sure.  Also, you said oral sex is an extremely low risk to get STD's without signs, which there were none, which makes me feel better.

I just have a question.  I went to the store to find Aquaphor or Desitin cream, but is there a product name that I can look for?  I saw a lot of jock itch creams, but I'm sure I don't have that.  I just don't want to get something wrong.  If any products come to mind, please let me know.

But yeah, I'm feeling better about things.  I'm still not certain what it is and hopefully since it's still here, my urologist can point me in the right direction.  Just wanted to keep you guys updated.  Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

desitin is in the diaper aisle.

aquaphor is usually with the hand cream section.