Herpes Question and Duty to Disclose

[hopeful1962]

I am a male mid-40s who has just been informed that I have herpes (combination).  My score came up as a 1.10 (IgG) when the minimum score for positive was 1.09.  The test that alerted my doctor was .92, when .91 was "equivocal.  I have never had an outbreak to the best of my knowledge and have had several monogamous relationships in the past several years where we have had unprotected sex (oral and intercourse) and no partner has indicated to me an outbreak or a positive test.  I have made an appointment with an infectious disease specialist in order to confirm the diagnosis.

I am at a moral crossroads in this sense.  Assuming I have the virus there does to not appear to be any evidence that I have outbreaks at all or of any frequency and have not transmitted the virus to partners.  At the same time, I know disclosing the virus to a partner, will in 99% of the cases, assuming they are not infected, result in the end of the relationship (let's be honest).  Even if I do not appear to present any material risk, I will instantly be viewed as one of the persons with lesions, etc. a CARRIER.  I do not know if I am willing to accept that. It also appears that only a small minority of persons seem to suffer from the worst scenarios of the virus

I need to understand the risk of transmission, what acts, can I engage in without fear of transmission.  Can I kiss somebody.  Do I have to disclose before a kiss? Sorry, but I am not doing that.

At the same time, if I start to date women who have herpes, do I risk aggravating the level or severity that I may have.  As I said I do not have outbreaks, etc. and my anti-body level was minimal.

Thanks

[gracefromHHP]

The testing you had was basically worthless but at the same time - it was just barely positive and not likely to be due to having herpes.

If you really want to know your status, seek out better testing. Until proven otherwise though, it's not likely that you have hsv2 most definitely.  You might have hsv1 like most adults even though you don't list a history of it. Even the best blood tests we have still miss 1 out of every 10 hsv1 infections but the odds of you testing negative for hsv1 on 2 different tests and still having it are pretty low.

grace

[hopeful1962]

I was told that it was a combination, but the test did not breakdown into HSV 1 or 2.  As I said I have never exhibited any symptoms that I know of and no partner has come to me indicating that they were infected (by me).

How important is the length of time (assuming I am) that I may have been infected.  I have had 3 mono relationships in the past 5 years, where after being tested for HIV we regularly had unprotected sex and none of my partners seemed to be infected.  Doesn't that count for something in weighing the risk of transmission.

[gracefromHHP]

was it a hsv2 igg that was 1?

At this point you need additional confirmatory testing done. It's not likely you are really infected with an igg of 1.0.

grace