Herpes and sexual acts

I started seeing a new man 3 months ago.  I have never had any signs or symptoms of any STD's in my life, and my boyfriend says he has not either.  I had a viral culture approximately 2 weeks and I was tested positive for genital herpes.  Just to be 100% sure, I am also getting blood work done next week.  My boyfriend has been 100% supportive and has been there for me through this whole situation.  We are both devasted over this diagnosis.

My boyfriend has had no signs or symtoms (symptoms) so he is obviously asymptomatic.  I do not know if he gave this to me, or if maybe it is something that I contracted years ago, and that I am now just having my first outbreak.

I was curious to know a few things:
1) If we both have genital herpes, is it okay to continue having unprotected sex? (Given that we are both clean for other STD's)
2) If I have genital herpes and he is clean of it, can we have sex with protection? Will this protect him from getting the virus?
3) What about kissing? Can we kiss? Will anything be transferred that way if neither of us has ever had a cold sore?
4) If he does not have HSV-2, am I putting myself at risk by performing oral sex?

Any help is greatly appreciated!

[petal130]

A positive culture means you definitely have herpes. Did they type it for you? If not, call the lab and request it to be done (they should have, based on CDC guidelines). Be sure the blood test is an IgG type specific blood test. This way, aside from the culture, you'll know your status for both HSV1 and HSV2.

Your BF needs to be tested as well, it's the only way that you can then decide what precautions, if any, need to be taken.

A good source for becoming educated about genital herpes is the Herpes Handbook, here:
http://www.westoverheights.com/genital_herpes/handbook/view_the_chapters.html

There's also a video you can watch, and Terri Warren also has a great book for newly diagnosed folks and their partners called "The Good News About the Bad News"

As to your What If questions, the answers depend on your partners status. But if we assume your BF is negative (don't though, have him tested):

1. It only increases his risk if you don't use condoms
2. Condoms decrease the risk by about 30%.
3. Depends on if either of you have oral HSV1.
4. If he does not have herpes, there's no risk to you.

[AshD409]

My boyfriend has never had any symptoms.  Last week he called his Doctor regarding it, and he was told that there is NO test that can be done.  I thought blood work could be done on someone whether or not they have had symptoms.  Is this not correct????

[gracefromHHP]

correct - he can get a type specific herpes igg blood test to see what his status is regardless of whether he has symptoms or not in a situation like this.

did you also have a blood test done or just the lesion culture?

grace

[AshD409]

Okay perfect, that is exactly what I thought! Thank you so much :)

And yes I had both the lesion culture and a blood test.  I should be getting the blood test results back this week sometime.  I suppose a lesion culture is the most accurate way to tell though, right?  I am hoping that maybe it was a false positive test or whatever it is called! Who knows.... What do you think?

[gracefromHHP]

it might be too early for your blood test results to give you any answers as to which type you have. has your partner gotten tested yet?

did they type your culture to know if it's hsv1 or hsv2?

grace

[AshD409]

How long does it take for a blood test to give accurate answers?  My boyfriend still has not got tested because his Doctor is telling him that there are NO accurate blood tests that can be done. It is rediculous. We are trying to seek out other resources in the area.  I am not sure if they typed my culture or not... How do I find out? Is it too late to call them back on it now?  Sorry for all the questions... there is just so much I feel I need to know!!

[gracefromHHP]

his doctor is way misinformed.  even in canada there are type specific herpes igg blood tests. ( check out ottmar's journal with info on testing for herpes in canada )

you can get blood test results back in as little as 48 hours.

definitely call to see if they typed your culture if you aren't sure.

[AshD409]

Okay, perfect.  Thank you so much!!! :)