Herpes blisters on buttocks

Is it safe to have sex with condoms when I have herpes blisters on the buttocks?

[gracefromHHP]

oh absolutely not if you have a hsv negative partner!

when you have an ob on the buttocks, you are shedding the virus from the lesion on the buttocks as well as from the entire anogenital area. condoms are not 100% protection against transmission by no means and having sex when you know you are actively shedding the virus is not a way to reduce the risk of transmission to a partner.

grace

[Lucy377]

I thought so ...

Anyway ... let me tell you a little more about myself. I'm a 53 year old woman and I have had herpes for 26 years. When I contracted it and had my first outbreak the doctor simply said, yes, that's herpes. When there are open sores you can pass it on to someone through sex. I actually didn't have any symptoms after this for some years and had pretty much forgotten about herpes. Anyway, not long after my first outbreak HIV started to become an issue for heterosexuals and I only had protected sex from then on. When I had a longer relationship we did not use condoms after some time and after HIV testing (I never even thought about HSV testing)

About 3 years after my first outbreak when I had some "pimples" on my butt I didn't think of herpes. When the pimples came back again after some time I saw a doctor and he told me it's herpes and that when the blisters are open they are contagious so I should be careful that no one touches them. So I was careful that my boyfriend (by then it was a different one) didn't touch them but we continued having unprotected sex as usual, even during outbreaks.

Then 2 years later I split up from my boyfriend and met my husband. We had very frequent sex the first 12 years, unprotected after a while, and I was careful that he didn't touch the blisters on my buitt when they were there, but we usually had sex anyway. I have been with my husband for 21 years now. Neither the 2 boyfriends I had unprotected sex with for about 2 years each nor my husband have ever had herpes outbreaks. My husband never got tested - I had no idea you could have herpes without symptoms.

The last 9 years my husband and I weren't able to have sex because of health issues on his side. It was very hard for me to not have sex but we love each other very much and I didn't have sex with anyone else for 6 years. So herpes wasn't an issue and I didn't learn any new things about it. Then I realized that my husband and I wouldn't ever have sex again and that was extremely hard since I am - still at my age - a very sexual person and had had hopes all these years.

After many long and not so easy talks with each other my husband was ok with me having sex and finding a lover. So I had protected casual sex a few times - and I just happened to never have herpes blisters on my butt when I was with someone. Then a few months ago I started to have a more steady lover who was in a very similar situation ... and some time later I had an outbreak on my *****. I was so totally shocked since I hadn't had it there for so long and I was scared that I would pass it on to my lover. I started reading about herpes online and was in for a huge shock - that herpes also could be passed on between outbreaks - which no one had ever told me before ... I saw my doctor and she was very vague. She gave me valtrex for my outbreak and sent me to a gynocologist who confirmed the herpes, gave my acyclovir to take on an ongoing basis and said it was ok to have sex. But before I could think of all my questions she was gone. So I was still in shock and told my lover. He was ok with me having herpes.

In the meantime the first affair ended and I have been with another lover, again in a very similar situation but much younger than me. Also he was ok with me having herpes since we anyway only have protected sex. I have been taking acyclovir for 3 months and didn't have an outbreak but I'm concerned that taking these pills year after year is bad for my health and I'm also concerned about passing it on. It's one thing if you are in a committed relationship and the other takes a risk because he loves you, and a totally other thing if you are having an affair with someone.

3 weeks ago I stopped taking acyclovir since I'm traveling and anyway don't have sex right now. A few days ago I had an outbreak on my butt and took acyclovir again (and looked around on the internet again and found this forum). The outbreak healed very fast but I'm still concerned. Is it safe to take acyclovir on an ongoing basis? If I don't take it, is it safe to have sex? When we have sex, he usually touches my vagina and then he puts the condom on. Now I'm thinking, even without an outbreak ... is this too risky? Could he infect himself with his hands?

I'm quite confused and I don't really know what's risky and what not. Is there any way to not take acyclovir all the time and still have sex? Is there any way this can be kind of safe?

Thank you for reading this.

[gracefromHHP]

Oh I'm so glad you found this forum to ask your questions in!!!  I definitely can clear up a lot of them for you :)


26 years ago, we tended to get a dirty look and a pamphlet and thrown out the door when we were diagnosed. typically unless you asked questions of your provider later on, you never got updates or better testing anywhere down the road.  Your description of symptoms as well as your ob pattern as well as visual diagnosis by several providers now suggest that indeed you do have genital herpes as well as odds are it's hsv2 based on its recurrence pattern.  It's up to  you if you feel additional testing is worthwhile or not at this point.  since you have other partners, knowing your full hsv1 and hsv2 status is probably worthwhile to be honest.

Is it safe to take herpes antivirals long term suppressively? Indeed it is!  I do so myself even. I've been on acyclovir suppressively far more than I haven't for the last 24 years now I guess it is.  We have info on folks taking it suppressively non-stop for 25 + years now. There are no long term side effects.  One can even argue it's safer to take acyclovir suppressively than it is to take tylenol regularly.  It really is that safe.  

It's up to you if you think it's worthwhile getting your husband tested for herpes or not. Since he isn't sexually active, if he isn't having symptoms, no real reason to do so.  Depending on his health situation, might not be worth even asking him to if you think his finding out he has hsv2 would be detrimental to his mental state  ( sometimes ignorance is bliss is ok ).  

As for your current ( and future ) lovers, it's well worth them getting a type specific herpes igg blood test to see what his status is. It's typically not a part of routine std testing so odds are none of your partners have been getting tested for it.  Knowing their status prior to being intimate helps you make educated decisions about what precautions to take.  

Daily suppressive therapy significantly reduces ob's and shedding. helps you to have less disruptions in your sex life in general plus reduces the risk of transmission to a partner.  I really recommend it. Why have more ob's than you have to anyways is my motto!

Is it safe for a partner to touch your genitals? Yes it is. If they have an open cut, cracked skin, bitten nails etc then they shouldn't - for reasons far beyond your herpes.  Bacteria in openings in the skin doesn't belong in the genital area.  Intact skin though on the hands is very, very unlikely to get infected with herpes though.

grace

[Lucy377]

Thank you so much, Grace, this is very helpful and I'm already feeling much better!

One more question for clarification: When my lover touches my genitals and then puts the condom on himself he touches his own genitals. If I'm shedding could he transfer the virus through his own hands to his genitals and get infected in this way? Should I ask him to wash his hands or use an alcohol wipe after touching me? (not very romantic but perhaps safer ...?)

I think I'm going to have a test myself to really determine which hsv I have. Also my husband is thinking of taking a test after I'm telling him what I'm learning. He thinks possibly hsv may have to do with the body pain that he has had for more than 10 years now. Are there any symptoms like that, strong pain like back pain that travels around to different places? Could hsv affect the nervous system in this way?

Thanks again, Grace, I really appreciate you reading all this and answering so carefully.

[gracefromHHP]

not that easy for your partner to contract hsv2 from you. No need to wash up before putting on the condom after touching you.  

herpes won't cause back pain without obvious lesions at the same time. It also won't cause pain all over the body.  

grace

[Lucy377]

One more thing. If I take acyclovir suppressively 2 times 400mg daily do I have to take more if I have an outbreak? Or do I just cintinue with the same dosage all the time? Also, do I have to have my kidneys or liver tested or anything else if I take it over a longer period?

This may sound stupid but I don't really know for sure ... I haven't let my lover give me oral because I think it's not safe even with acyclovir. Can hsv2 be passed on in this way? What would happen? Would he get cold sores?

Thank you!

[gracefromHHP]

when you have a recurrence, increase your dose to either 800mg 3x/day for 2 days or 400mg 3x/day for 5 days. both speed healing of recurrences at the same rate.  

no need for any liver or kidney testing to be done.  

your partner can contract hsv2 orally but the risk is low. You  being on daily suppressive therapy lowers the risk even more. if he is concerned, he can perform oral using barrier protection like a flavored condom cut open and laid over your genital area. the risk is always greatest from genital sex more so than oral sex so it's up to the two of you what precautions you want to be taking together.  definitely not a reason to give up having oral sex performed on you!

grace