Herpes transmission and latency question?

Yesterday a friend told mine ("Erin") that she has been living with herpes for nearly 3 years. While this would normally concern me, I feel more so involved because of our linked history-

Two days ago I asked my boyfriend ("Jake") of 2 years (and 4 months) more about his sexual history- I knew he had only 2 sexual partners from serious relationships before- but I neglected to consider other sexual activity- namely oral sex. I had known that a few months before we started seeing each other he had kissed "Erin". She had told me that that was the extent of things. "Jake" thought I knew that this was not all that happened; she had performed oral sex on him. After talking to her, I learned that in the summer of  '08 she was date raped- she got tested twice after that and tested negative. In August she broke out and was tested again- and tested positive for HSV2 (genital). In October of '08 in a drunken incident, the activity with "Jake" occurred. She assures me that while naked, nothing beyond touching occurred, saying she knows this because being so soon after her diagnosis she knew she had to be careful/she wouldn't have felt right doing anything. I'd like to believe this, but I am prone to believe "Jake"'s version. He did not know until I informed him that she had herpes. Telling me that oral sex DID occur was definitely not the easy truth to tell.

I started seeing "Jake" in December of '08- we have been both exclusive and sexually active since then. In the 2 and a half years we have been dating, we've never had any worries about our sexual health. My question is, how likely is it that she could have transmitted Herpes to him by performing oral sex on him even though she has it genitally? (I've read that herpes "sheds less often outside its site of preference"). Also, if she did would it have manifested itself by now, or could it have remained latent?  

"Jake" says he's bothered, but isn't as concerned- stating that 2 and a half years have passed. I'm more inclined to worry, and wonder if we should be tested.

[gracefromHHP]

oral sex won't transmit her genital herpes to anyone.

odds are that neither you nor your current partner have ever been tested for herpes before to know who has what. while it's on your minds, why not seek out type specific herpes igg blood testing for you both so you can make educated decisions about what precautions to take in your relationship. If you hadn't covered all other std's and testing before being intimate too, now is a good time to do so so no surprises later on.  Most people have no idea they have herpes until they are tested so you shouldn't assume anything. Even though 2 years later is a bit late to be covering the bases properly, better late than never!

grace