Whitlow is transmitted when it's active. When it's not causing obvious lesions, it's usually not infectious. The skin on the hands is too thick for the virus to easily penetrate to the surface of the skin without obvious lesions present.
Next time you have it, get it cultured to see if it's hsv1 or hsv2. Other option is, if you've never had a herpes blood test , get one done to see what your status is. It's a good idea to confirm that it's definitely whitlow though so regardless of what your blood test results, you'd need the culture of active symptoms to confirm whitlow as the cause.
grace
So you're diagnosing yourself with herpetic whitlow, and have had no confirmatory tests?
As to genital herpes, it is an STD - it is transmitted by genital to genital contact, or genital to oral contact.
If you have not been properly diagnosed, then yes, see a different doctor.