How can my bf have herpes after two years with negative blood tests swab positive

[kaitlin2232]

So i'm a little confused here and i am trying to see if there have been some mistakes made. Obviously like most people i have done all the reading on this, but i am still confused. My boyfriend and i have been together for a year and about a month ago he was having problems down there. Every doctor thought it was an infection or something of that short and never imagined it would be an std. Why would they i have never tested positive for herpes and neither had he. I got tested last month after a swab test came back positive for herpes. However, the last time he had a sexual relationship with another woman was 2 years ago. I believe him when he says he did not cheat because we assumed i was an asymptomatic carrier. Before we dated i had had some relations and was tested before i engaged in sex with those men. However, ive been tested now by  a blood test and told i am negative. We do not know what type he has and i am going back to retest at least twice. What confuses me is that it was not even in his blood and i thus far do not have it. So i feel like if i do test positive it came from him? Is there any chance this is a mistake. He had his exam done at the health center they do a million of these a day. I am hoping that a future blood test shows it or if he ever gets those symptoms again a swab would say negative. Is there any chance this is a mistake how on earth could we have sex for a year ad i did not get it? we also never used condoms until receantly when i got off my birth control because i was having issues on it. If i don't have it so far, how does he?
How would i go about figuring this out??

[change2015]

Did Kaitlin ever found her b.f blood test results?

[atypical2015]

You might want to give your HS flame the benefit of the doubt. Blood tests have a way of giving misleading cues about a person's exposure to HSV2. And millions of people have HSV2 in their body and don't know it. In fact, MOST people who carry HSV2 are unaware of it. So if he's like most HSV2 carriers, he would NOT know it and would be very surprised to find he has it. He might not be lying to you at all.

[Transitoria]

My fiance died 9.5 years ago and with the exception of one night, I've had no sex since then. I have been celibate for 9 years.In early February of this year, I reconnected with an old HS flame after 37 years. I asked if he had any STDs, had he been tested, and was he clean before we had sex. His answers were no, yes, and yes. I believed him because I thought I knew him, and he's worked in the medical field for nearly 40 years. In May, I had an outbreak of something I've never experienced. I suspected it was herpes, but was in deep, deep denial. I went to my ob/gyn and had cultures and a blood test done. I tested positive for both HSV-1 and HSV-2. I expected HSV-1 because I've had fever blisters my entire life. The doctor told me that the HSV-2 could be an old infection. I believe it came from the HS old flame. I had a classic, text book example of a herpes outbreak. I believe if I had been infected before this guy, I would have had an outbreak sometime over the course of the last 11 years. It seems suspicious that I have an outbreak after dating him for 3 months. He claims he's been tested for HSV-2 and it's negative. I'm positive he gave it to me. There's been no one else! He wants to continue seeing me, but that only makes me believe he knows he has it and has had it because what sane person would want to take the chance of contracting it. What do you think?

[JoMF]

I am a 45 yr old woman and I have had 5 long term relationships. I will name the last 3  partners  p1, p2, p3. as the first two (one being my husband, had no symptoms as such, not that come to mind anyway as it was 14 yrs ago.

The next three (3) partners... p1 & p2 we had std checks prior to having unsafe sex, p1 all clear, p2 hsv 1 + .    I put his down to being simplex, he had never had nor have I seen any cold sore as such, however I know you be a carrier with no symptoms. my std checks were all clear. including type specific.

I have noticed over the years the three (3) last partners, that they have this problem on their penis including swelling, redness and soreness. I was sore, but we put in down to Figures  sex and it was caused be sex too often with in a short period and were rubbed dry...so to speak . p1  only had it once, maybe twice in our  five year relationship.  He noticed that if he did not rinse with water, ridding  his penis of my vaginal fluid which would also be mixed with sperm., he would be sore/itchy the next day...cured.

P2 had similar symptoms,  but a few more times over the years of this relationship (4yrs). I only had soreness, the first time with him, as it was Figures and again put down to dryness. He too rinsed his penis to prevent these symptoms as they said... (p1 &p2), that their penis gets slightly irritated if they do not removed the fluids coating the penis. So I put it down to maybe my vaginal fluid is of a higher acid count, unbalanced Ph  levels

P3...I suggested std checks.  I got checked - all clear. He did not!  at the first time of being sexually active with p3, I notices and not having seen is penis before, what appeared to be swelling but penis was of normal colour with no signs of anything sinister, very clean, and I thought it was just the shape of his penis.
Sex again was figures and multiple times in short periods, he was sore I was sore. How ever to cut along story short his was sooo bad that he got swabbed and came up Hsv 2+     I got tested, type specific and came up Hsv 1 + and vaginal swab also hsv 1+ also.

Bear in mind at this time I was coming down with and  had full blown pneumonia. therefore the Dr said as I had pneumonia my immune system was low and therefore the Hsv 1 + targeted below the belt.(very rear)  I had no symptoms and have been tested and swabbed and tested and swabbed over  period of time and no Hsv 2.

I am single again and too afraid to meet anyone as I don't know the out come, It's been 12 months since p3 and I have been run down and mentally ill and still show no symptoms.

So my question is... Do you think am I contagious? I think p3 knew he had it all along, however this only an assumption, he freaked out about it.

[gyoly]

If a herpes bloodtest comes back inconclusive what are the chances of u having it

[gyoly]

If a herpes bloodtest comes back inconclusive what are the chances of u having it

[Well_Adjusted]

Hi Kaitlin,

Symptoms will differ from person to person. My thoughts on this are: You have definitely made the right decision not to sleep with your partner until you have accurate medical proof of your partners type of herpes (visit several doctors and don't always use the same GP), you should also be entirely educated about how your partners condition will impact on your life! The truth is that no one, absolutely no one wants herpes or any other std for that fact. It can be a debilitating condition for those who carry the condition in that it can be very painful; ugly; embarrassing; it affects your immunity: weakening it, you may even find it difficult to find a life long partner. Actually, you probably would. If i were you i would seriously reconsider staying with your partner. You are too young to live with herpes and will easily find a new lover who you can trust. Maybe you and your partner should spend a little time apart, this will allow him to better understand the extent of his condition, and how much it frightens you, what it means to you etc and should mean to him. Give him time to think seriously about his condition, allow him space. He should then have time to obtain the results of his type of herpes (and find out whether he has had the condition for long) providing you with essential answers about this so called monogamy. It would also be good for you both to spend time apart from each other so that you can better measure the depth of your relationship. Just make sure that if you decide to stay with him you take a copy of the test results to your GP for a detailed explanation. It will help you to write all of your questions down on paper and have your GP answer them. Take a pen with you! Best of luck.

[lajellybean]

Some people get breakouts once every couple years even over 10 years lol. Hope I m that lucky since I hear some people breakout like once a month. Been a year so far....wish you luck! Stay strong hunny.

[lajellybean]

i refuse to take suppressive meds during my pregnacy. I had 3 weeks to clear my outbreak or I would have a c section and my dr prescribed me a dosage of 4 pills a day of the hsv pill. I didn't take it, I chose to take 4 pills of 1000 mg of vitamin c since I read that helped and also a pill of lysene. I also used aloe vera gel and tea tree oil. Also alcohol and my two bumps healed. I read that taking a pill vitamin c and lysene everyday is good to not have breakouts ever. I did that for 2 months after delivering my baby and stopped since I forgot a lot to take my vitamins. But hsv has to do with the immune system and I am pretty healthy. Only had that one breakout, my husband never had one. We still have unprotected sex and if I ever notice a bump I won't have sex until it goes away but that has yet to happen. Just eat healthy, take vitamins, and live your life. I didn't think I could handle the stress either.

[lajellybean]

Only a swab test is accurate. Blood usually comes back negative. I thought my life was over when I was 8 month pregnant and I went to the OB/GYN for 2 painful bumps and my swab test came back positive. I was certain it was from shaving but I was wrong and became very depressed. It was my first break out and my boyfriend had no signs of it and still doesn't. I was going to leave him and be alone for the rest of my life because I was uneducated about HSV. I haven't had any more bumps at all, been researching lot which helped me cope and accept that I have HSV and have to live with it.  My boyfriendd was very supportive and said he didn't care if I had it and he believes I don't have herpes( think he says that to make me feel better) and loves me the same. We still have unprotected sex and yes I am very paranoid still about ever getting a bump but still haven't and its been a year.  I still am the same person as before my first and I hope my last break out. Don't let HSV get in the way of you losing an opportunity to be with the person you are in love with.  Trust me I hated myself when I found out, I wanted to leave my boyfriend because of it, but I am glad he stuck by my side and married me because I would not be happier with anyone else.

[gracefromHHP]

daily suppressive therapy works at reducing shedding and transmission of hsv2. not as much use for it with hsv1 genitally. also if a partner has hsv1 already, no reason for any precautions other than avoiding sex during ob's if you have hsv1 genitally.

the free herpes handbook by terri warren has all the basics if you haven't read it yet.

[kaitlin2232]

Arnt the precations the same for either one? Avoid outbreaks and use valtrex and condoms?

[gracefromHHP]

Less than 10% of folks with hsv1 genitally get recurreces frequently.

you can't make educated decisions with a partner about what precautions to take together until you know who has what. don't know which type you have, you are clueless as to how to protect a partner.

[kaitlin2232]

Im deffiantly considering it. Im dealing with months of stress because of how they handled this from the start. They messed with my mind telling us he had a kidney stone, etc, Then not even  typing his culture, messing up on my blood work. Its just been back and forth.

I wonder why people type herpes though? Ive read that in some people hsv1 behaves and occurs just as frequently as type 2 so i do not know why it really makes a difference. one thought ive had from all of this is that.

[gracefromHHP]

we don't have vaccines for most viral infections. they are very hard to vaccinate against.  

it's not likely he really doesn't have it given a + lesion culture. I'd write a letter of complaint to the clinic detailing how this has affected your relationship together because they didn't follow CDC recommendations and type his lesion culture. Letters of complaint really do work to change a clinics practices. It won't help you two out now but it will hopefully help the next couple who is in your shoes and goes there.

[kaitlin2232]

So basically unless there is nothing to reswab and prove that the swab is wrong assume they didn't make any clerical errors? Just great

Well  all of this angers me so much they need to vaccine this disease. Its a joke that it isn't. They also need to start testing people for oral herpes so that they don't spread it orally. I have no idea what is wrong with the medical community when it comes to herpes.

No matter how much i try to learn for him he is stuck with it and i don't have it? Im basically being told nicely that there is no way he does not have it.

[kaitlin2232]

okay i understand

[gracefromHHP]

if the blood test comes back negative, he'll need to wait until his next ob to get a lesion culture and typing done. typically when the blood test is negative repeatedly and the lesion culture was +, it's hsv1 genitally but getting it confirmed is the best course of action even though it could be years in between recurrences with hsv1.

[kaitlin2232]

Thank you so much. I'm just trying to figure out if they made an error with him. I know errors would only be clerical but i mean they made a mistake with me and he has had nothing for over two months now. Since i posted no outbreak nothing. I know this can happen but i rather know for sure these are his results when he did not fit the typical symptoms, outbreaks, i'm negative and they made a mistake in my testing at first. If you going to have someone tell you something like this that is life changing for both of us i rather double check you know.

In terms of the blood test for my bf if they come out negative what would you do then? Would you just assume the swab was correct?? How often do men just get a urethral swab and thats enough to diagnose herpes??

[bobrope45]

Ask for a type specific blood test for herpes - hsv1 and hsv2 IgG.
You'll only need a swab if anything comes up again. Then a swab can be useful (if typed, of course)

[kaitlin2232]

Ok and what type testing for my bf? Just a blood test? Any specific one or is igg fine?  Any need to reswab?

[gracefromHHP]

no reason not to think your hsv1 is oral from what you've posted.

[kaitlin2232]

Yea im trying my best here to handle it emotionally but its hard. I miss no issues etc. Could u answer a few of the questions i posted? What happens if those blood tests of his are negative? Also if i dont have any outbreaks how would u determine where my hsv1 infection is? What type testing would you have me have him do?

[gracefromHHP]

It's unfortunate that the clinic didn't follow CDC guidelines and typed his swab. you would've had answers now instead of having to wait :(

follow up on testing for him and go from there. glad you are talking to a professional to work through this too :)