HERPES
COMMUNITY
How close are we to finding a cure?
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by Tainted76, Apr 23, 2008
A couple days ago, my STD test came back positive for Herpes 2. I am devastated, crushed. I can't help but feel like maybe I should just kill myself and get it over with... I'm 22, I can count my sexual partners on both hands, and now.... I'm ****** for life. I've never had an outbreak. EVER. Never an outbreak, and no symptoms. I've been in 3 serious relationships, all lasting over a year. I can't even imagine dating at this point. How in the world will anyone accept this? I doubt I can date anyone new; I mean, I know that if I started seeing a guy, and he confided that he had herpes, he would have to be THE ONE for me to continue seeing him... I know thats vain, but god, there is such a stigma associated with this disease. Like I'm a ****, or dirty or something. Fuckin christ. How can Magic Johnson beat  HIV, while one in four people have to wear a condom for the rest of their ******* lives?! I'm pretty, and smart, and I have a degree............... and now I'm ******. ****!!!!!!
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Member Comments (56)
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by waringblender, Apr 23, 2008
No cure, sorry. Hell, I'd rather see them try and cure AIDS. Herpes is manageable, and it's no big deal to  millions of folks who have  it.

Would you prefer that Magic Johnson NOT beat HIV?  Jesus, HIV is devastating the continent of Africa. We need a cure for that sucker, and we need it soon.

You'll get over it. Plus you're young. Just be honest with your partners in the future, and most will be fine with it. If they're not, move on and find somebody who is. In the meantime, go work out or something. No point in getting worked up about it. What's done is done.
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by gracefromHHP, Apr 23, 2008
More people are accepting of the small risk of contracting a partner's herpes than most folks realize. Everyone seems to think it's a deal breaker until they have to deal with it in their own lives and then they realize just how much of a nuisance more than anything it is. 1 in 4 adults has genital herpes. It's THAT common.  

The first thing I recommend doing is getting a copy of your herpes blood test results and posting the numeric values here - ie hsv1 igg 6. 8 and hsv2 igg 1. 6 or whatever they are. Then we can guide you towards whether you need additional testing or not.  Also if you currently have a partner they too should get tested for herpes to see what their own status is.

The next thing to do is you and your partner should take the time to read the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com.  It's a terrific resource to learn more about herpes, treatments and how to reduce the risk to a partner.  There is also a patient counseling video there to watch too which is beneficial.

So what does this mean for the rest of your life? Well I'm assuming you are a female with male partners. If so - if you go on daily suppressive therapy and use condoms and avoid sex during any genital symptoms - your partner's risk is 1% each year.  Pretty darn low don't you think?  Certainly not enough risk to consider killing yourself over or a reason to suspect that you'll be lonely and miserable for the rest of your life.  That's the same risk per year as getting pregnant while on the pill!!!

grace

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by Dr_K, Apr 25, 2008
Since one in 4 to 5 prospective partners ALREADY have HSV II, and you would have rejected them in the past, you now have a vast new supply of possible partners!  The problem is most folks who are already positive don't know it until they do a blood test.
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by waringblender, Apr 25, 2008
Interesting perspective. Yep, it's a hell of a lot of folks out there with it. And it's just too common to get bent out of shape about.
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by gracefromHHP, Apr 25, 2008
LOL there you go - all those folks you wouldn't have dated before are out there waiting for you. I LIKE IT :)

grace
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by wesman27, May 24, 2008
HAHA ya exactly, you know im 17 I just recently found out that mi best friend has it, u should have see my face  :O I was so shocked but the more I researched up on it the more common I realized it was, I think its the word that people are so turned off about.... H E R P E S, if they called it good peoples virus people would accept it alot more. I hope they find a cure for it though, maybe a lysine type flu vacination or something like that, hope so!
                                                
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by pitchblackfate, Apr 29, 2009
I to just found out that i have Herpes. I know 1 in 4 people have it but yet i still feel alone. Its funny i have always been faithful to my partners but apparently they havent been with me. I was devistated still am, i still feel alone. i wish there were places i could go to meet other that arent afraid to say they have an STD. I feel outcasted by my friends, though i havent told any of them, i feel like they will reject me or think its contagious even by sitting next to me. You know how some people are. Im a male and to be honest if they dont find a cure i want to find another partner that already has herpes so i wont have to worry about infecting them. Its one thing to live with it, its another to live with the guilty if you give it to someone you love.
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by Antoinette1, Apr 30, 2009
I remember how devastated I was when I found out at 19.  I know how having it plays with your mind too.  Makes you feel ugly, dirty, unwanted and undeserving.  There really is a stigma.  Like it or not.  I've had to learn to grow a thick skin about it.  No one except my husband knows about my disease.  I can't count how many times friends have made comments or jokes about herpes or people with herpes.  They never consider I am one of these people.  There is no reason to.  I don't "look the part".  I'm decent looking, very hygenic, married, educated, and have had only had 4 partners in 20 years of having sex.  But regardless if I look the part or not... I have it.  Try to get some counseling.  I know a lot of people on the site have given you advice to simply get over it and get on with life.  And maybe that approach worked for them just fine.  Obviously, you aren't at that point yet.  A counselor is someone you can trust to talk about the emotional difficulties in dealing with this disease.  Honestly, I think the emotional garbage is the worst part of having herpes.  At least, it has been for me.  Hang in there!
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by Antoinette1, Apr 30, 2009
I have some bad news for you.  You can keep re-transmitting herpes to someone who already has it (in new locations they weren't having outbreaks in before).  This disease is a b*tch in that way.  So just because you and another person already have it doesn't mean you can be careless with each other.  You still have to learn the signs of an outbreak and avoid sexual contact during those times.  Since you just recently were diagnosed, you have a lot to learn about the disease still.  Make sure to educate yourself as much as possible so you don't accidentally hurt someone you care for (or yourself).  And yes, the constant guilt and fear of giving it to someone who doesn't have it is very difficult.  I deal with that daily, but my husband loves me more than he fears the disease.  Anyway, all I can say is education, education, education.  Good luck with everything.  And one more thing... if you never want to tell your friends, you don't have to.  It is a very personal thing and you shouldn't feel like it's a part of yourself you have to share with everyone you know.  Unless you want to.
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