How do you share the news with a new partner?

Hi,

I was recently diagnosed with HSV1 & 2 following oral sex from a guy who had a cold sore. I've started seeing someone really awesome, and have no idea how I should tell this guy about my situation. Any advice?

Thanks,
J

[Mistakeguy789]

Hello!

You have two posts.  For now lets work in using this post from now on.  Add to it.  For the benefit of other readers I will repeat the information I gave in your other thread.  

You asked isn't HSV-1 and HSV-2 two different viruses how do you get both.  Now that I saw this thread I am starting to line things up.  First off let us clear the air on what HSV-1 and HSV-2 are.

HSV-1 and HSV-2 are two seperate viruses.  They are not one and the same.  The difference is where they are most usually seen.  HSV-1 is commonly found in the oral location and is the cause of Cold Sores.  About 50% of the adult US population has HSV-1 orally and they may not even know it.  HSV-2 is most commonly found in the genital location and some people do not even know they have HSV-2 because they don't know the symptoms.  

The viruses though can infect EITHER location of the body. HSV-2 is extremely rare in the oral location.  HSV-1 when found in the genitial location does not often have a high reoccurance rate for outbreaks and also does not asymptomatic shed (virus is on the skin with no symptoms).  

How were you diagnoised with HSV1 and HSV2?  Visual?  Blood test?  Swab?  

As I said for a person to have HSV-2 orally is rare.  So getting HSV-2 from oral sex is rare as well.  I have a feeling and I am assuming here that you were tested with a non type specific test (I will bet you a coke it was an IgM test).  These test do not give the correct type for HSV and are often wrong.  If I am right about the IgM test then the results can't be trusted.  IgM tests are worthless and lead to false positives.

The testing you need if you didn't get it is a type specific Herpes IgG blood test.  This test can tell the difference of what antibodies you have present.  Unlike the IgM test this one will no crossreact to other viruses or other items.  The timeframe to test using the Herpes IGG blood test is 12-16 weeks after your last sexual encounter.  

Another important note here is to remember that just because you test positive for HSV-1 it doesn't mean you have it in your genitials.  You could have HSV-1 orally as coldsores from your childhood kisses from auntie and uncle.  Even if you don't remember having cold sores.  

There is no way for the blood testing to tell which location was infected.  This is where a swab test will come in handy if and when you have symptoms.  If you should have symptoms be seen within 24-48 hours for a lesion culture and typing.  Also I would advise your partner to also get tested to know their own status.  

At this point I wouldn't tell your partner anything untill we are sure you have HSV.  If you had a herpes igg blood test please provide us with the results (IE: hsv1 igg 1.34 hsv2 igg 0.21) Please keep asking us questions.

[otherside]

Maybe hold off until you are really comfortable with him and feel like you can trust him as this is obviously not an easy thing to discuss with anyone. You could even schedule an appointment with a doctor and he/she would be able to help explain how many partners work through the same ordeal your going through and offer tips to ensure your partner doesnt get it.

wish ya luck!

[Mistakeguy789]

Hello!

You have two posts.  For now lets work in using this post from now on.  Add to it.  For the benefit of other readers I will repeat the information I gave in your other thread.  

You asked isn't HSV-1 and HSV-2 two different viruses how do you get both.  Now that I saw this thread I am starting to line things up.  First off let us clear the air on what HSV-1 and HSV-2 are.

HSV-1 and HSV-2 are two seperate viruses.  They are not one and the same.  The difference is where they are most usually seen.  HSV-1 is commonly found in the oral location and is the cause of Cold Sores.  About 50% of the adult US population has HSV-1 orally and they may not even know it.  HSV-2 is most commonly found in the genital location and some people do not even know they have HSV-2 because they don't know the symptoms.  

The viruses though can infect EITHER location of the body. HSV-2 is extremely rare in the oral location.  HSV-1 when found in the genitial location does not often have a high reoccurance rate for outbreaks and also does not asymptomatic shed (virus is on the skin with no symptoms).  

How were you diagnoised with HSV1 and HSV2?  Visual?  Blood test?  Swab?  

As I said for a person to have HSV-2 orally is rare.  So getting HSV-2 from oral sex is rare as well.  I have a feeling and I am assuming here that you were tested with a non type specific test (I will bet you a coke it was an IgM test).  These test do not give the correct type for HSV and are often wrong.  If I am right about the IgM test then the results can't be trusted.  IgM tests are worthless and lead to false positives.

The testing you need if you didn't get it is a type specific Herpes IgG blood test.  This test can tell the difference of what antibodies you have present.  Unlike the IgM test this one will no crossreact to other viruses or other items.  The timeframe to test using the Herpes IGG blood test is 12-16 weeks after your last sexual encounter.  

Another important note here is to remember that just because you test positive for HSV-1 it doesn't mean you have it in your genitials.  You could have HSV-1 orally as coldsores from your childhood kisses from auntie and uncle.  Even if you don't remember having cold sores.  

There is no way for the blood testing to tell which location was infected.  This is where a swab test will come in handy if and when you have symptoms.  If you should have symptoms be seen within 24-48 hours for a lesion culture and typing.  Also I would advise your partner to also get tested to know their own status.  

At this point I wouldn't tell your partner anything untill we are sure you have HSV.  If you had a herpes igg blood test please provide us with the results (IE: hsv1 igg 1.34 hsv2 igg 0.21) Please keep asking us questions.