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How to keep family safe?!?
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How to keep family safe?!?

   I've been in a year long struggle with herpes symptoms. I've had pain in the tip of penis after a night of unprotected oral sex with a woman I just met.  I've had two IGg blood testes and they both came back negative.  One was done at the 7 month point and another at the 9 month point after expected infection.  I now have red bumps on the tip of my penis with surrounding redness, but not blister like.
    My question is how do I keep my family safe from this if I am in fact positive? My wife has accepted my mistake, but I'm terrified of infecting my kids. We've always been a close family, and sharing towels and shower puffs is not uncommon. My youngest som recently complained of a sore in his mouth and  my heart almost stopped.  While I've never been diagnosed, I feel like my children are at risk.  I would not be able to live with myself if I somehow passed this to my children.  
21 Comments Post a Comment
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897535_tn?1295210035
You don't need to keep your family safe, you need to move on from the notion you have herpes! Your tests clearly show you're negative, you've never had herpes symptoms (what you describe are not alone herpes symptoms) - and a one time oral encounter is very low risk for herpes transmission to begin with.

Those of us who do have genital herpes will never transmit it to our kids - we don't have that sort of contact with them! It's called an STD for a reason!

Consider counseling if you can't move on - not worth unrealistic thoughts about transmitting something you don't have to your kids.

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Avatar_m_tn
I've also been dealing with some mouth issues for about a month straight now.  My lips constantly feel dry and the roof of my mouth and tongue have been sore.  Then my son had a sore in his mouth and the first thing I thought of was hsv. I've been blood tested twice seen my family doc 4 times, a dermatologist 4 times and a urologist.  I'm at a loss...I just want desperately for my family to be safe.
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101028_tn?1348750963
sores inside the mouth are usually canker sores and aren't herpes related. also many viruses that can cause them too that are common in children and not std related at all.

I totally 2nd petal's advice - if you can't move on from your fear of having contracted herpes from your encounter despite numerous negative tests and the opinions of many practitioners, time for a professional counselor or therapist to start working through your anxiety. life is too short to want to punish yourself like this!

grace
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for the response Grace! The sad thing is I keep telling myself....."one more negative test and I will believe it".  But I know better. It's frustrating because the symptoms won't go away, and every time someone in my house gets sick I start to panic. I pray that' it's just all in my head!
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm fighting the urge to get one more test. I've had two bioplex 2200 tests, which from what my research can find compare very well to the Herpselect.  It might be worth the piece of mind to get the Herpselect. I'm so torn and confused!
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101028_tn?1348750963
if you have this much money to waste, can I send you a few bills?
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Avatar_m_tn
Today I noticed a group of tiny white spots on the corner of my lower lip. They are under the skin and don't burn or itch, but almost look like tiny blisters. I also have these along the inside of my upper lip, and I noticed those about a month ago. The don't burn or itch and appear to be under the skin ad well.  I had another blood test done today (herpselect this time).  I'm hoping to put to rest this nightmare!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Consider googling "fordyce's spots", which are harmless.
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Avatar_m_tn
Well my Herpselect results came back...
HSV1 IgG:   .16 Negative
HSV2 IgG:   .12 Negative

I think I can now start to forgive myself for my horrible mistake. This forum has been a huge help through my year long struggle. Thank you so much!!
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101028_tn?1348750963
congrats on your negative results :)
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Avatar_m_tn
Well Grace the symptoms are back stronger than ever. Well I guess they really never went away. The irritation on the tip of my penis has turned into a small, but painfully annoying rash, and my scrotum has turned very red and burns a bit almost like jock itch. I go back to the dermatologist Friday and will see the Urologist next week. I'm being told its probably prostatitus, but it sure feels like something bad. My question is, should I have the rash swabbed? It just popped up yesterday and I can get in to see my GP tomorrow. Even though they are telling me there is nothing left they can do for me. It impossible to get over this notion of having HSV if the symptoms NEVER go away.. Thanks again for your time
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101028_tn?1348750963
I wouldn't bother with getting this swabbed with your negative testing.

this sounds like a fungal infection at this point.  

best of luck at the derm tomorrow!
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Avatar_m_tn
dude it sounds like you have a yeast infection ... are the spots on your penis small ??? not pimple like but noticeable ... Okay,,, long story short... when I was 18 I had unprotected sex with a older woman that i didn't know much about... well I immediately had regrets so I jumped in her shower and washed my penis off with antibacterial soap... and then the next  morning I repeated this thinking just to be safe i'll clean him off really good... well later that day my ****** started burning... haha... went and got tested... like you did... multiple times... EVERY TEST CAME BACK NEGATIVE... well the doc said your penis looks really dry maybe you just have some irritation from a soap or something you used to masturbate... i said i had used anti-bac soap and he said i probably killed all the good bacteria that lives on the male penis... it hurt for a month... you HAVE to quit, EATING BREAD OR ANYTHING WITH YEAST IN IT... STOP EATING SUGAR CAUSE THAT FEEDS YEAST... GET SOME MONISTAT PUT A LITTLE IN A CAP OR SMALL CONTAINER... DROP A FEW DROPS OF WHITE VINEGAR IN THE MONISTAT MIX IT AND APPLY TO YOUR PENIS FOR A FEW DAYS... BUT YOU MUST STOP EATING SUGAR AND BREADS FOR A WHILE OR IT WILL COME BACK... okay... ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING YOU NEED TO DO IS EAT A LOT OF YOGURT,,, AND I HAS TO BE PLAIN YOGURT WITH LIVE BACTERIA ... AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST... OH YEAH ... AND QUIT WASHING YOUR ****** WITH HARSH SOAPS ... THEM THINGS MAKE IT WORSE... WARM WATER AND A LITTLE BIT OF SOFT SOAP WILL DO JUST FINE...
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Avatar_m_tn
Yes, that sounds like what I have. I live on the paleo diet so I don't take in much sugar, but I do use harsh soaps. I hope you're right, I see the derm tomorrow...again! Thanks for your thoughts
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Avatar_m_tn
Let us know how it goes. Have you had a prostate check?
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Avatar_m_tn
I haven't had a prostate checked yet. But I go see the urologist next week. I just want answers, the fear of HSV is destroying me. Even my wife told me I'm not the same man she married. I realize it this point it's probably not herpes but it's really hard to get past it when the symptoms never stop.
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Avatar_m_tn
Well I just got back from the derm... She did a thorough, boxer short area, exam (the first time any doc has done that) and said that she is 100% positive its not HSV given the 3 neg blood tests and all the exams I've had.  She said it appeared to her to be eczematic dermatitis.  Not even real sure what that means, but that was her diagnosis.  I've been perscribed desonide cream, and some steroids to take over the next two weeks. According to her it should be gone by my next appointment in two weeks.  If not then we have to start the biopsy process..OUCH!! She also said that she did not belive that it was fungal.  I still have to see the Urologist next week so maybe he will be able to shed some lite as well. I really hope this is the fix, I feel like I've really been stomped into the ground over the last year.
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101028_tn?1348750963
you really should seek out counseling. your family wants you back from the sounds of things :(
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3975171_tn?1348865402
@ Scared,

I agree with Grace, get a therapist or a friend that will get you out of the house and help you get your mind of it.

I had a yeast infection and had the same EXACT symptoms as you.  I'm good now, all I had to do was buy yogurt and dip my penis in it a few times over the week and it killed it.  It is a cure for a guys yeast infection.  Best of luck to you buddy. :)
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Avatar_m_tn
what kind of soap do you use or have you used... by chance any anti-bac soap ??? and has your penis ever gotten really dry... and hurt when you got an erection... is the tip irritated the most with redness... I'm telling you dude... mix the monistat with the white vinegar... eat garlic... eat yogurt... do all that stuff and it'll clear up man... do you get jock itch at times... if so that's a dead give away... and yeah i put the yogurt on my penis as well but and it's effective but it also dry our penis up pretty good... and if your penis gets too dry it'll split at the pee hole when you get an erection and that's a whole different kind of pain... and that takes a few weeks to heal... if that happens you'll notice it... look at your penis hole and see if it's split... try the monistat vinegar mix... it sounds like what i had dude...
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Avatar_m_tn
Well I went to the urologist today and had lots of fun....cystoscope!! Freakin good times!! Good news though, they found nothing abnormal. The rash has subsided for the most part, but still have the red irritated skin on tip. I have a week left of treatment on my current course then see the derm again next week. The Doc recommended counseling to tackle the huge anxiety and stress issue I'm dealing with. At this point I think I will.
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