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How to prove I DON'T have Herpes?
Hello,
15 years ago, during our divorce, my ex-wife told me she had Herpes which she contracted from an affair 2 years previously. In the time since, she has told everyone, including our children and her new husband, that I had the affair and gave it to her. For reasons associated with keeping a relationship with my children, I never fought her. Our kids are now grown and I would really like them to know the truth, but after all this time they don't believe me. I have never had any symptoms. Is there a test of some kind that will prove I do not have it, and therefore could never have given it to her?
15 years ago, during our divorce, my ex-wife told me she had Herpes which she contracted from an affair 2 years previously. In the time since, she has told everyone, including our children and her new husband, that I had the affair and gave it to her. For reasons associated with keeping a relationship with my children, I never fought her. Our kids are now grown and I would really like them to know the truth, but after all this time they don't believe me. I have never had any symptoms. Is there a test of some kind that will prove I do not have it, and therefore could never have given it to her?
wow she is scum of the earth to put you through this get tested i doubt you have the virus though if you've never broken out in 15 years. and they say the guys are always the jerks. guess not
If I were in this situation I would get tested,unfortunately in bitter divorces one or other wishes to come out of it looking squeaky clean and hard done by even if it means lying to the children by demeaning the other parent and that is a very unkind,cruel and unfair way to behave especially when it is painting an untrue picture of what actually happened while the children were too young to understand but they have been brought up to believe their Father was the cause of the breakdown of the marraige while Mum done no wrong at all,regardless of who did what within the marriage I think you have a right to clear up this obviously very upsetting allegation with your children if only for your own peace of mind and enable the children to get to the truth of the matter now that they are grown up enough to understand, I think it would help you to get tested and show the results to your children after all if their Mother has lied all these years I doubt they will be impressed by that,children don't like being lied to,and IF your ex wife has been doing this to turn the children against you then more shame on her and she deserves to pay the price for her stupidily by the children being made aware that she has played a large part in how they have felt about you because of her lying ..... the one thing that won't lie is a test to prove you do or don't have HSV .....
As Grace said if there are other issues then showing them test results won't repair those, however if the issues are mainly about your wife's claim that you passed HSV to her due to an affair YOU had that according to her ended the marraige when in fact it was the other way round then I think you have a right to try to clear that part of things up with them assuming you can back up everything you say after which perhaps other issues will be more readily resolved ...... The risk you have at this stage is that by now you could in fact be HSV+ so i would be very wary of telling them you can prove you don't have it until you get the test results otherwise you are going to look pretty silly if they in fact come back positive .....
I don't condone in any way one parent telling lies to their children about the other in an effort to destroy a parent child relationship that is cruel and very very selfish, the children belong to BOTH of you not just one.
Your wife has acted very irresonsibly and obviously cause you a lot of pain by her actions over the years and I do feel for you .....
I know what I would do if I got a negative result back after putting up with all that for years I'd post it out to all the people she so freely felt the need to turn against you,because if she HAS lied all this time it's no more than she deserves .....
But then I'm a woman and you know the saying "Hell hath no Fury " lol
I wish you well and hope whatever you decide to do helps towards the long awaited good relationship with your children to which you are entitled as their Father without cruel intervention that has so far denied you that .....
Daisy
As Grace said if there are other issues then showing them test results won't repair those, however if the issues are mainly about your wife's claim that you passed HSV to her due to an affair YOU had that according to her ended the marraige when in fact it was the other way round then I think you have a right to try to clear that part of things up with them assuming you can back up everything you say after which perhaps other issues will be more readily resolved ...... The risk you have at this stage is that by now you could in fact be HSV+ so i would be very wary of telling them you can prove you don't have it until you get the test results otherwise you are going to look pretty silly if they in fact come back positive .....
I don't condone in any way one parent telling lies to their children about the other in an effort to destroy a parent child relationship that is cruel and very very selfish, the children belong to BOTH of you not just one.
Your wife has acted very irresonsibly and obviously cause you a lot of pain by her actions over the years and I do feel for you .....
I know what I would do if I got a negative result back after putting up with all that for years I'd post it out to all the people she so freely felt the need to turn against you,because if she HAS lied all this time it's no more than she deserves .....
But then I'm a woman and you know the saying "Hell hath no Fury " lol
I wish you well and hope whatever you decide to do helps towards the long awaited good relationship with your children to which you are entitled as their Father without cruel intervention that has so far denied you that .....
Daisy
I'd get tested if I was you just because it's important for you to know your own status for your own relationships.
If there are issues with the relationship between you and your children in general, showing them test results for herpes that say you don't have it isn't going to repair it. It's unfortunate that their mother played games like this and has I assumed damaged the relationship you have with your children :( It wasn't something they needed to be told EVER when you think about it.
grace
If there are issues with the relationship between you and your children in general, showing them test results for herpes that say you don't have it isn't going to repair it. It's unfortunate that their mother played games like this and has I assumed damaged the relationship you have with your children :( It wasn't something they needed to be told EVER when you think about it.
grace
You could get a blood test and show it to the kids, but what if it comes up positive anyway? Most people with herpes don't even know they have it, so not having symptoms is meaningless.
Does it really matter at this point? The kids are grown, for pete sake. They are going to have to decide how to conduct relationships with you and ex-wifey on their own terms. All you can do is assert that it didn't happen that way, and let it go.
I don't know. I guess I have to wonder in whose best interests you would be doing all this tap dancing?
Does it really matter at this point? The kids are grown, for pete sake. They are going to have to decide how to conduct relationships with you and ex-wifey on their own terms. All you can do is assert that it didn't happen that way, and let it go.
I don't know. I guess I have to wonder in whose best interests you would be doing all this tap dancing?
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
