I am scared to tell my boyfriend.

[Abs64]

I have just recently started dating this wonderful guy who treats me like gold, I have never had a serious boyfriend before. I have herpes and i dont know how to tell him I am afraid he wont want to be with me and he will be disgusted and angry. I feel so ashamed that I havent said anything yet and we have been together for a month now. I dont want him to think I slept with a bunch of people I was unlucky in how I got the STI and I cant help what happened. What do I do I dont want to loose him, its seems to good to be true???? help me

[gracefromHHP]

Just be open and honest about it with him. Start of the conversation perhaps along the lines of - I"m really attracted to you and I hope you are to me too but before this relationship goes any further, we need to talk about a few things. Start out simple with things like condom use ( you don't want to find out someone won't use a condom 30 seconds beforehand ) and birth control.  Then ask him if he's ever had a std and when he was last tested for them.  Let him know about your own testing and then let him know that you have genital herpes and which type. Ask him what he knows about it. Then tell him what you are willing to do to reduce his risk of contracting it from him.  Be sure to read the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com or the herpes info at www.ashastd.org before your conversation - some tips at both places for the "talk" too as well as basic info you need to know to answer your partners questions. Also offer to send the links to them too to your partner so that he too can educate himself more on std's and herpes :)

grace

[treesnake]

What would you want him to do for you if he had an STI.

[Abs64]

So I told my boyfriend last night, he was very supportive and said that he still wants to be with me no matter what and that this doesn't change who he fell for. I want to thank everyone who replied to my post. I feel a little more relieved that I am not lying to someone I really care about. Now I dont know what percautions to take so I dont spread it to him, can I give him oral or will he get the sti? and if we do have unprotected sex is he going to get herpes to? I am confused i think he is afraid to kiss me to now, can he get herpes from kissing me?? I dont know how to protect him?

[gracefromHHP]

Have you read the free online resources I recommended yet?

grace