Is this a Life altering event or should I take it in stride?

[toostrong]

I was diagnosed with hsv1 recently(oral not genital) and I'm confused as hell. My doctor told me that I was "exposed" the the herpes virus but most people have been including herself(She actually told me that I should not be all that concerned. ) I felt like she was blowing my situation off as if it were not serious. Also she kept trying to reassure me that I don't have to change my lifestyle based on my "exposure".She actually told me that I did not have to tell my partner if I didn't want to. (what kind of advise is that coming from a doctor?) I was mortified as I have never had an std before. I asked her a ton of questions like how should I change my lifestyle, and how or when did I get "exposed" to this. She could not give me a definitive answer which frustrated me even more. I have never in my life had a blister anywhere on my body nor have I had a cold sore especially on my face, mouth etc. So as far as I know I have never had an out break. Maybe someone else could give me some insight on the following:

Should I be afraid to peck my niece, mother, etc. for fear of infecting them?
Can I still kiss my significant other without fear of infecting her? What about oral sex? Could I give her genital herpes by doing so? If so could she give me genital herpes as well?
If I took a sip of a friends gatorade and gave it back to him, am I putting him at risk?
I recently started a new relationship with someone before I was tested. What do I tell her...I kissed you and now you have hsv1?
Some answers would be great as my doctor did not give me any.
Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

hsv1 orally is very common. Not many of us make it to the old folks home without it. About 1/3 of us in the US pick it up before we even walk into kindergarten even.  If this is the first time you've ever been tested for herpes, no way to know if this is something you've had since you were a little kid, something you picked up from someone you kissed as a teen or something even you contracted from your current partner. It's not considered a std when it's oral since you do not have to have sex to transmit it.

As an adult, hsv1 orally is almost always transmitted thru romantic type kisses.  

grace

[toostrong]

Thanks for your response. However several of my questions were not answered.

Once again, I have never have had a cold sore or anything that I could call an outbreak
with that said:

Could I give my partner genital herpes by doing performing oral sex on her?  If so could she give me genital herpes as well?
If I took a sip of a friends gatorade and gave it back to him, am I putting him at risk?
I recently started a new relationship with someone before I was tested. What do I tell her...I kissed you and now you have hsv1?

[gracefromHHP]

Most adults have hsv1 orally but only 20-40% of them ever get an obvious cold sore to know that they are infected. If you just have a blood test done that is + for hsv1 and can't recall symptoms either orally or genitally then it's typically assumed that the hsv1 infection is an oral one. Even though you aren't getting obvious cold sores, you still shed the virus periodically from the oral area.  You can transmit hsv1 from the oral area to the genital thru oral sex. Talk to your partner about their own herpes status and if they are negative for hsv1, discuss whether barrier protection for performing oral sex is something you both want to utilize or not.  

As I said, as an adult - oral herpes is transmitted thru romantic type kisses. Sharing food or drink isn't a risk as an adult.

As for your current partner, discuss this with them. Let them know that during your screening you found out you are + for hsv1. You assume it's an oral infection even though you don't recall a history of cold sores.  Ask her if she can recall any cold sores or if she's ever been tested for herpes to know her own status and go from there.  

grace

[toostrong]

Once again thanks for your response.
You said that I can shed the virus "periodically" from the oral area. How will I know when I am at risk for passing it on to someone else if I don't have any symptoms?

[gracefromHHP]

You don't unfortunately.

grace