Is this a mild OB? / if so, is transmission likely?

[mjameson]

I've had HSV2 for nearly 4 years, with a particularly bad primary infection followed by one definite recurrence since - but possibly others that were extremely mild. That one recurrence was confirmed at the very base of my spine, in the cleft between my buttocks between my anus and lower back - a GP said it looked like there had been a small blister that was healing over. She did a swab and sent the sample for testing, which confirmed HSV2.  I occasionally (every few months at most; more in the summer months it seems) get a rather mild itchiness/soreness in this area for a few days that I think may or may not be Herpes outbreak.  On the one hand the fact that it happens more often in the summer when it's hot makes me wonder if maybe its just irritation from sweat.

My worry is as follows. I've been seeing a guy for about a month and we've been sexually active several times. I have yet to tell him my status. A few  days ago I noticed that the area I described was a bit red and slightly sore. I never noticed a blister but then again hadn't been looking previous to this slight soreness.  So the night before last my boyfriend and I had sex after a night of drinking (read: poor judgment on my part).  We had a brief bout of unfortunately unprotected anal sex. His penis never touched the actual sore area, although obviously there was proximity. I think his finger touched it briefly.

My question is: I obviously need to tell him soon about there being a risk, but from this particular encounter does it sound like there's a likelihood that he would've been exposed to the virus?  I know there's no way of knowing an exact percentage for sure, but a general idea would be helpful.  

Also, clearly unprotected sex during a (possible) outbreak (even mild) obviously has a higher transmission rate than when no outbreak, but is transmission usually the case in such situations? (ie, higher than 50%).

Any hunches or ideas on this welcome.

[daisy315]

I was diagnosed 3 years ago with HSV2 when a tiny rash on my lower back was swabbed,I have never had any genital lesions ever,in the past year I have had maybe one small blister there but I have been told that regardless of where the outbreak is below the waist I am still infectious genitally ...... so I expect the same applies to you even though you haven't had any genital outbreaks it's something to do with the nerve path the virus takes ..... so whether you had an outbreak or not the fact that you had unprotected sex was a risk of transmitting the virus.The risk is significantly lower when no active outbreak is present but thats not to say you weren't shedding virus within your genitals at the time of intercourse .....
I have been told different things about this both from Doctors and from GUM/STD personnel some say I am not infectious genitally others say I am so I  really don't know what to believe nowadays but I go with the fact that I am and would never have unprotected sex for that reason .......

Daisy  

[Verysaddude]

Yes, your right!!!  YOU HAVE PUT HIM AT GREAT RISK. Some say that the transmission rates for that type of encounter is low but I had unprotected sex with someone and caught it while she was having no visible outbreaks. You have to tell him before having sex again. I really hope you didn't transmit this to him. That would be so unfair......

[Toni22]

That was very selfish of you not to tell him before an encounter, but i understand why you did it.. He needs to be tested so it's time to just put everything on table.. He's ast risk and the sooner he's tested the sooner it can be treated... good luck

[treesnake]

unreal.....putting someone at risk knowing that. It is his health and it is a lifelong chronic infection. If he has HIV would you want him to tell you before sex?

[petal130]

Yes, people should ALWAYS tell their herpes status upfront (although, remember folks, of the 1 in 4 women and 1 in men who have genital herpes 90% don't even know it).

One can't compare HSV to HIV - it's like comparing the common cold to cancer.

[gracefromHHP]

Yes indeed you need to talk to your man about all of this - I recommend doing so sooner rather than later.

You had what you should assume was a prodome for your herpes unless proven otherwise.  You had sex with him during this time. If this is herpes going on, you have put him at a significant risk of contracting hsv2 from you. The virus sheds from the entire anogenital area, not just the area of the symptoms so yes, he was potentially at risk.  

At this point your man should get a type specific herpes igg blood test to see what his baseline status is. If he's never been tested before, he very well could have hsv2 and not know it so you need to find that out now instead of later and take blame for infecting him.  If he gets any symptoms within the next 2 - 20 days, he should see his provider promptly for a lesion culture and typing and treatment.  Otherwise it's up to him if he wants to repeat his blood test or not in a few months to see if he was infected and just didn't notice symptoms.

How do you treat your herpes?  Have you ever read the herpes handbook to learn more about it and how to reduce transmission to a partner? www.westoverheights.com is the link - it's free and very worthwhile. If you can afford it, I also recommend Terri Warren's new book - the good news about the bad news - it's under $15 on amazon if you can't find it in your local bookstore. It's far more detailed than the free handbook is and really goes into why it's very important on many levels to talk about your herpes infection prior to intimate contact with a partner as well as many other issues.  

I know this isn't a very hopeful reply to your post but this forum is for support and education so that you can better understand your herpes as well as reduce the risk of infection to a partner.  

grace