This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.
After reading some of the post on the forums, I have gotten most of my questions answered but have what might be a silly unresolved concerned. I won't insult the intelligence of a reader by starting (as I read in several different posts) something to the effect of "I don't recall how this happened," "I don't remember if my pants were off," or "somehow we were naked," and make excuses for normal sexual desire. To be blunt I was horny--very horny. I love women and more to the point giving oral sex to a woman. About a month ago, I met a wonderful fun-loving girl around my age who I hit off at during a summer training camp. After our mutually acknowledged physical attraction, she revealed to me her biggest sexual thrill was having a man go down on her for hours. I told her I was into this but since we didn't know each other well, I would not feel comfortable performing the act unless some barrier was used. She disliked dental dams or their makeshift counterparts (e.g. condom cut down the middle). So I used Saran Wrap, which I have read was FDA studied and found to be an effective barrier of viral particles. Great, you say. No problem. What concerns me is what I have read about the claims that herpes is a skin-to-skin contact STD and then learning from her that she has been (by her own account) with more than 30 men. In particular, my face brushed up against her inner thighs repeatedly during the act of cunnilingus, and I kissed the insides of her thighs and top of her vulva (mons regions). What risk, if any, is there that I contacted herpes or any STD for that matter in kissing her inner thighs and upper vulva area or having skin contact with her thighs. Thanks in advance.
I would like to point out that our forums are staffed by volunteers and as such we aren't on a schedule to respond to posters. Usually though we answer within 24 hours. Sometimes getting someone trained to review test results takes some time but the fact is we aren't sitting in front of our computers pressing the refresh button.
This was a low risk for herpes. The act itself makes it low risk as for transmission is happens when heat and friction were involved. The kissing was litteraly not the much friction or really contact to massage the virus in.
The skin contact with the things (your cheek I would assume) does pose some risk. But only if you saw active lesions at the time. The skin on our legs doesn't shed without lesions because the skin is ticker in that area. So the real risk there was now in all honesty.
I can't answer on the other STD's but I am sure it was no risk for them as well.
Also I would like to say that a persons sexual encounter count is not an accurate indication of STD status. Some people have only had 1 partner and have had HSV-1 transmitted to them.
Thanks for the response. I am actually surprised that there would be risk with my cheeks coming in contact with her thighs. This is the thing that is confusing: Some sites say herpes can be passed by mere skin-to-skin contact. Other sites, like this one, often say that this is a "theoretical risk" in so far as the scenario (and similar) ones described in my case. What then gets a reader like me worried and perhaps even paranoid is in the in exact language of "poses some risk." This is not meant for you per se, but would is the metric used for such statements? I think in probabilities often (as I am a computer scientist). I liked the analogy of one of the Doctors on here who likened some of the "theoretical risks" to a meteorite hitting you on the head. True, it is a non-zero number, but ridiculously small. For insurance purposes, the airlines in fact calculated this risk of a meteorite hitting a high altitude aircraft many years ago. Given the frequency of air traffic, the probability of such an event happening is higher than you might imagine but still well under a fraction of 1% for any traveler over the entirety of his or her life time, even as frequent traveler. The airline industry wisely concluded it is simply not any genuine concern, largely to not hurt their revenue. Imagine an airline having a customer having to agree during ticket purchasing that they will not hold their company liable if a meteorite annihilates their plan during its travel! But is still a calculable "risk," just not one to really be concerned about as a traveler.
Anyway, forgive the long aside and again thanks for your post. :)
A lot of sites will say things about herpes that merely aren't true or overstated to cover their legal butts.
The doctors have their own math. For my intent and purposes I base my words on where I see the risk at the most. For example if you told me "she had a lesion on her left thigh and I was constantly rubbing against it while having oral sex" my wording would be different to support that there maybe more of a concern. In your case the reason I say there is some variable of risk when I pointed out an active lesion being present.
You in your case didn't in fact state there was or was not a lesion. Hence my addition to if there was and describing that the risk from that would only be if one was present due to the risk of shedding really not being present from our thigh due to the thickness of the skin not allowing viral shedding. If you have no lesions present that you saw in that area then you have no risk.
Being a computer geek myself I can tell you that I think in probabilities as well. Can I offer you one here? No. I am not a math geek. Do I know of or read of cases like this not really. But given the facts that I see here no real reason to worry. I wouldn't even suggest testing outside of knowing your own status.
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