My girlfriend has had genital herpes for nearly a decade. She's has had multiple long-term partners since acquiring it, had sex with some of them without ever using barriers (one man for 4 years straight), and never gave herpes to anyone. She only gets one small lesion on her perineum about twice a year and is very sensitive to its onset, predicting it far in advance. She is in exceptionally good health with a strong immune system and always takes an antiviral. Although we always use a condom, we recently went without one in the shower (she has an IUD). We're considering doing this again on occasion, provided she's symptom-free, since it seems incredibly low-risk, especially given her past. But I have a questions:
1) If she were to transmit herpes through asymptomatic shedding, would this be strictly due to my contact with the small spot on her perineum were she consistently feels an onset? If so, would taking special precaution with that particular bodily area (i.e. avoiding it or covering it) help prevent transmission?
2) If the latter is true, would I be able to safely give her oral sex on the upper and mid vulva?
3) Would sex in the shower further help prevent transmission by being able to clean off the mucus membranes quickly?
Thank you.