Herpes Expert Forum
Moving On- should I?
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Moving On- should I?

Hi Terri.  Thank you for taking my question.

In summary, I had 4 condom protected encounters with different female escorts (by appointment) since the beginning of the year.  The last one was 8 weeks ago. These encounters are the first experiences outside of my marriage of 20 years.  I have had no lesions since the encounters.  Believe me, I have looked!!!  I respond to every itch, twitch, twing, and sting by inspecting myself.  I've logged more time in the restroom in the last 2 months than in my whole life before.  I could draw a picture of my "stuff" from memory.  Lol!  (I laugh so I won't cry). I sincerely regret these encounters and wish they would have NEVER happened.  Since we can't change the past, I need to do the best to move on.

After so many tests, I have reasonable assurance that I am clean of everything, although I did have a skin tag/wart (did not have it biopsied) from my shaft 3 weeks ago (dermatologist found the location odd since I used a condom and said she would not link it to this event).  However, herpes still lingers and I want to get past it.  Here is the test history with times presented as post exposure:

1 week Capita Igg
HSV1 - 0.270
HSV2 - 0.093

4 week Capita Igg
HSV1 - 0.220
HSV2 - 0.083

8 week Capita results pending

My questions at the moment are:
1.  Considering another negative result at 8 weeks, no lesions, and the 100% use of condoms during the events, can I assume I am not infected and move on?  What would you do personally?
2.  If I decide to test again for greater assurance are my chances of a false possitive greater than the additional accuracy that I will gain?  Do the false positives have a specific tie to prior HSV1 infections?  Since I am not getting false positives now, does it stand to reason that for me personally, the test is more inclined to be valid?

My preference is to close this chapter today.  I respect your advice and promised myself I will take it whole heartedly.  Thanks!
55646_tn?1263664409
1.  I think, given your test results so far, that infection is unlikely.  Condoms reduce transmission of herpes by 30-50%, depending up the study you read, so they aren't perfect, though they are helpful.  I personally would get a test at 16 weeks, given the high risk nature of your partners.
2.  Your numbers are pretty low - I'm guessing against a false positive.  I worry more about false positives in someone who has a previous high negative (which you don't) or someone who has never been tested before.  In our clinic, only 5.5% of people who are tested end up with a false positive, so the chances are already pretty low, at least in our setting.  False positives for HSV 2 are more common in someone who already has HSV 1, yes.  There appears to be some risk of cross reaction there in some people.  

The test results that you have at 8 weeks post exposure are probably 75-80% likely to stay that way.  Maybe even a little more.  

Different people are comfortable with different percentage risks.  This is one you'll have to decide for yourself, I think.

Terri
8 Comments
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you Terry.  I WANT to wait until 16 weeks, but think that is unrealistic, honestly.  Could you take a guess at 10 and 12 week accuracy?

Also, if the chances are 1 in 1000 for infection (.1%), and I am now only about 20% unsure do to testing, would the updated risk be .1% x 20%=.02%?  Does the math work that way?

I must get back to "normal life" which includes working on my marriage.  The sooner the better.  Knowing I'll never be 100% possitive, you are correct that I have to decide what level of risk I'm willing to accept.  Any help you can give me with the numbers would be appreciated.  I can do 10-12 weeks pretty easy.

Thanks
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Avatar_m_tn
Let me correct.  Doing 10-12 weeks won't be "easy".  I am truly in torment right now.  The wages of my mistakes, of which I can still not believe.

I am not the proper father to my children nor the proper husband to my wife in this mental state.  I have lost 2 months of my life.

People like me must drive you crazy.  I am sorry.
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Avatar_m_tn
Terry,

I see you are only online a few times a day, so forgive my continued posting.  When something pops to mind, it is probably best that I post it rather than wait to talk back and forth.  That said.....in addition to the questions above, could you also let me know how a Biokit test might fit in here?  Supposing I decide to test at 10 and 12 weeks, would Biokit be acceptable?  Obviously, the 10 minute wait will take less mental toll than the 48 or more hours for the Kabcorp test.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Terri.

My 8 week results finally came in negative!!

HSV1- 0.227
HSV2-0.114

Does the slight rise in the HSV2 # mean anything?

Thanks!!

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55646_tn?1263664409
No.  It means nothing.  There is normal variability in the levels of the test, because each batch of tests is compared to a control positive, which varies with each test.  So variability means nothing in this case.  

I'm not clear what the Biokit would add  here.  However, if you did one, and it was negative, that would be further information that you are likely not infected.

There is an excellent chance, based on these numbers, that you are not infected with herpes.

However, I think you are so focused on herpes right now that you are failing to look at the elephant in the room:  why did you stray from your marriage four times?  In my experience, feeling guilty and scared are not enough motivation to stay faithful, in the long run.  I think exploring what happened here with a professional is a very important component for this process.  I hope you will.

Terri
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you Terri.  I am seeking counseling for my marriage issue.  I have made great strides in understanding and correcting my own issues as well as those in my marriage.  

Returning to physical relations is important and my questions here are based on my desire to do that with reasonable confidence of not harming my wife.  I want this to work for the sake of her and my children.  I definitely want to continue as a family.

Thank you.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am sorry for the new screw name.  I can not remember the password for the original.

I am done here.  Thanks.
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