HERPES COMMUNITY
My boyfriend has herpes

My boyfriend has herpes

I have a problem. I am a 23 yr old female with a 2 yr old son. Me and my sons father had a lot of issues when he was first born and havent been together since i was 7 mths pregnant. WE both still love eachother but i got tired of wiating for him to come around, so about 8 mths ago i finally moved on. I started dating this guy at my job, and we've had a pretty serious relationship. But recently i realized that i love my currrent boyfriend, but im still in love with my sons dad, and he wants us to be a family.
About a mth ago my boyfriend tells me he has herpes. He says he got it 5 yrs ago from a construction job from shingles. (which i would love more info about) He told me because that was the first time we'd had unprotected sex and he said he felt an outbreak coming. I didnt have any real info abt the std but he told me what he knew and i decided to work it out with him.
About 3 wks ago i had some white odorless discharge, it was kind of like a yeast infection, i never treated it but after a week it stopped. Then a week later a lump appeared on both sides of my groin, i had more of a watery discharge, it started to burn when i urinated and a blistery rash appeared in my genital area.
I got tested, i told my doctor my boyfriend had herpes and she did a culture test and prescribed me acyclovir and that was it. She basically said that, i probably had herpes and never tested for anything else. Its been a week symptoms are slowly going away but still present and i still havent heard anything back.
My questions are.....
Could these symptoms be anything other than herpes?

If it is herpes and I choose to stay with my current boyfriend,how do I continue a sexual relationship with him?
OR
If it is herpes how can I tell my sons dad, that i want us to be a family without putting him at risk?
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Avatar_n_tn
When was the last time you had sex with your boyfriend?

Did you doctor swab your sores? Did the culture confirmed it was herpes? If so, what type?

As for your boyfriend's statement that he caught herpes from shingles, that doesn't make sense. Shingles is a different virus (the reactivation of the chicken pox virus), while genital herpes is caused by herpes simplex type 1 or type 2.

Answering your questions: (1) if you stay with your boyfriend and you do have herpes, no precautions are needed - you don't ping pong the infection to one another. (2) if you want to go back  to your husband, first thing to do is find out his own status, through a type-specific blood test. If he doesn't have herpes, you can take precautions to reduce the risk of transmission - using condoms, taking acyclovir daily (suppressive therapy), avoinding sex while having outbreak, etc. You'll need to have a honest talk with him and explain that the risk of transmission is low when precautions are taken.
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101028_tn?1331600857
you and your bf need to seek out type specific herpes igg blood tests to see who has what at this point. Don't know if your bf meant shingles as in the disease or shingles as in roofing shingles with what he told you but I really doubt the testing he had himself hence why you both need testing.

did they do any  other std testing on you when you were seen?

grace
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you for responding. I just got the culture test back today and it was pstive for hsv2. Im really depressed right now. because i really dont know too much about the virus and from what i hear I dont know if i can live a normal life after this If i can have more children or even a marriage. I feel like a walking virus.

My bf says during a construction job he went deep into a sewer line and was covered in feces basically , he says he wore a body suit but even when he took it off it was still in his skin and developed a rash, which he says his dr. said was shingles. i dont know how an std can be transmitted by that but thats what he says he got it from. It didnt make sense to me either.

So my big concern now is that i want to be with my sons dad, without a doubt, hes even the one that took me to get tested, i was just afraid to tell him the results they gave me until i was absolutely sure. I know now that we have to have this conversation but I'm really scared about how to go about it. Because we've worked so hard at us being good parents, and friends, and just recently he tells me that he wants us to get back together. Its a really crazy situation. So can you tell me what you think would be the best way to break it to him?
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Avatar_f_tn
THey didnt do any other testing, I told them my bf had it so they said oh well thats probably what it is then, but not to worry because 1 in 4 people get it. I wanted them to do other test but after the culture she gave me acyclovir and sent me on my way.
I took all the meds and it hasnt gone away. Is there a reason for that?

Oh and me and my bf havent had sex in about 2 wks since i first developed symptoms. ANd now the thought makes me so uncomfortable. Hes trying to be supportive but i cant help but feel a little anger towards him. Its good that it cant be passed back and forth but i was wondering if one us did have an outbreak during sex could it cause a recurrent outbreak in the other?
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101028_tn?1331600857
your bf's doctor is clueless from the sounds of things. he wouldn't have gotten shingles from a sewer and it wouldn't have been all over his body either. shingles is a reactivation of the chicken pox virus ad is generally limited to a specific nerve area and is never , ever caused by exposure to feces.  your bf needs to seek out a type specific herpes igg blood test to see what his own status is so you can decide together what precautions to take together.

can you still have a completely normal sex life and have more kids? you sure can!  

I highly recommend reading the free herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com.

since this might be a newly acquired infection for you, you should still be avoiding sex at this point until everything has healed and your genital area is back to normal.
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