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No question just desperate
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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.

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No question just desperate

Please help me. Somebody!!!! Lived with this secret for over 25 yrs told no one . Fell in love with best friend who was living with his girlfriend. The whole time he said he loved  me but she left her hubby for him , blah blah blah. They broke up, we got very close ( no actual intercourse though) talked about future, etc. I'm 52 never been close to anyone. Waited my life for this. Told him. 2 weeks later he says he'd rather be with crazy ex than diseased available person & i have to swear ill never tell out friends we were ever "together". Soon after got cold sore. now he Won't take calls etc. Perfectly nice when I run into him but Probably because we have same mutual close friends. If it took my 52 yrs to feel comfortable to trust someone & this is reaction this part of my life is over. Plus I don't know if his reaction is b/c I gave him Ghsv-1 or just grossed him out.  Either way feel so diseased & isolated & hopeless. Always felt isolated & hopeless , this is only person who made me feel special... Now he nade me feel diseased.  look what telling the truth does.
6 Comments Post a Comment
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101028_tn?1348750963
Most people are comfortable having a hsv+ partner, regardless if it's hsv1 or hsv2.  You really can't judge this fellows reaction as being the reaction that everyone will have.

you've not accepted your herpes infection for a long time. why not seek out therapy to help you finally do so and reclaim your life?  Once you hit your 50's, 1 out of every 2 folks has hsv1 and 1 out of every 3 has hsv2. It's incredibly common and never a reason to stay home for or keep yourself from enjoying life.

do you have hsv1 genitally?

grace
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I would love to be able to afford therapy. i. Feel like such a leper..  im just waiting to die because my educational, career & social growth have come to a screeching halt as well (b/c of age not disease).  I thank you for you input however . Your stats are a startling revelation on the weakness  in the relationship I had. I would be very surprised if I risked ever telling  anyone again as it took me 52 yrs to get this close (lol) to anyone... I have no health insurance so the cost of Valtrex alone prohibits me from doing further blood test and it's a moot point at this time since I do not plan on ever be emotionally or sexually intimate with another person again
I was told I had 1&2 but not where. Assuming 1on lips & 2 on buttocks. I also erroneously  thought that someone would have to come in contact with the actual site of the sore on my upper buttucks to get infected since I didn't realized I was shedding from entire genital region during symptoms. Old school, huh? I actually get quite annoyed that the stigma has mad people hide from learning about , recognizing & therefore led to the further spread. Why not the occasional TV sitcom or documentary to open up discussions & empower. Minot talking about an uprising or "H" parade but to just not make even the mention of the word strike fear in ones heart . But I digress , I'm sorry. Again your reply means a lot . Thank you.
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101028_tn?1348750963
acyclovir is available as a generic and is under $20/month with a prescription in the US.  You can treat each ob for $4 with acyclovir.  these are the no insurance prices!

If your testing was done a long time ago, it probably was really bad testing. well worth repeating the testing to see what your status is now at this point.  The health department does lesion cultures cheaply if you can have an appointment within 48 hours of the appearance of symptoms on your buttocks.  so does planned parenthood.  

Have you contacted your local health department about local low cost/no cost therapy for folks without insurance?



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Avatar_f_tn
Grace thank you so much for the suggestion. I got retested and the IgG for HSV 1 came back negative! What a pleasant surprise after 28 years. I was told that the antivirals I'm taking would not cause a false-negative And that there were no tests to differentiate 1 from 2 back  then but do you have a second opinion on that?
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101028_tn?1348750963
at this point, being on antivirals would not effect testing from an infection contracted 28 years ago.  

not likely you had type specific testing 28 years ago - that is correct.

also from your other post - no, those medications don't effect testing.
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101028_tn?1348750963
also even the best tests still miss 1 out of every 10 hsv1 infections. if you have a history of obvious cold sores, odds are you really do have hsv1 orally even though your current blood testing isn't picking up on it.
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