after we were finished the next day it it started to heal and form a scab the scab soon came off and it was red? i have been reading online that some herpes start this way. is this true or am i just worrying about his too much?
Herpes won't come that fast with an initial outbreak plus heal time takes a while longer on herpes then 3 days. It is normal after a scab falls off to have some redness around the area.
I would also highly suggest you both get tested using a type specific igg hsv test so you can know each others status and what if any precuations to take.
sounds like chapped lips more than anything. try to stop licking your lips and keep a good quality lip moisturizer on your lips during the day to help heal things up.
really not much we can help with this at this point. If this is a regular partner, discuss std's and testing and if neither of you have been tested for herpes since your last partners, certainly something to pursue.