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Oral sex question
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Oral sex question

I am dating a beautiful lady who has genital herpes.She and I take suppresion medicine and I wear a condom. My question is--If I give her oral sex will I get herpes on my mouth and how bad is it? 2-If I give her oral sex and then kiss her right after could the herpes spread from her vagina to her mouth?
Thanks for all your help.
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101028_tn?1348750963
Have you been tested for herpes to see what your own status is?


Why are you on suppressive therapy too?

You could contract hsv2 orally thru oral sex but it doesn't happen very frequently. To greatly simplify it - hsv2 doesn't "like" the oral area.  You aren't going to give her hsv2 orally from performing oral sex on her and then kissing her.  

grace
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Avatar_n_tn
I have not been tested. She told me up front of her herpes. I was told that if I take the suppresive therapy too it would lower my risk of getting herpes. Is this not right?
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Avatar_f_tn
Not necessarily. The negative partner using suppressive medication has not been studied. If she is on suppressive medication and you are using condoms, that is the gold standard for protecting a negative partner. Anything over and above that won't further your protection. Dr. Handsfield on the doctor side of the forum has discussed this. In theory, the negative  person using meds should be protective, but it's just not known for sure.

You need to know if you have either type of herpes, though, so I would recommend that you be tested as well. If you and she both have type 2, neither one of you needs suppressive therapy.
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Avatar_n_tn
What if I decided not to use a condom. I HATE wearing them:( Would you think suppresive tharapy would help then? One last question. I read about a possibe herpes vaccine. Truth or False?
Thank you all for your help
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Avatar_f_tn
Is there a reason you haven't been tested?
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Avatar_n_tn
I didn't get tested because I don't think I have it. Stop rolling your eyes :)
I will get tested to make sure though. I HATE wearing a condom. Would you think suppresive tharapy would help then? One last question. I read about a possibe herpes vaccine. Truth or False?
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101028_tn?1348750963
Ok so you only  told waringblender to stop rolling her eyes so I will do it enough for her and I both :D

Really - go get tested for herpes to see what your baseline status is.  If over 90% of those infected with hsv2 have no idea they have it until tested and 1 out of every 5 males in the US has hsv2 - why wouldn't you get tested?

You taking suppressive therapy is pretty much probably more of a waste of money than anything.  If anything it will just prolong how long you have to wait after this relationship is over before you can be sure that you don't have hsv2 yourself before moving on to a new relationship.  If you and your woman do nothing but avoid sex during obvious symptoms - you are about 96% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. Her taking daily suppressive therapy cuts your risk in half to about 98% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her.  If you use condoms it ups your odds to 99% on average.  Even without condoms - any additional protection that you taking suppressive therapy for isn't significant and at the price of valtrex - why bother for a lousy 2% risk on average?  Also we have no studies that show that the uninfected partner taking valtrex reduces their chances of taking it anyways - it would probably just make you less aware of being infected should you contract the virus from her.  

The only herpes vaccine in testing right now is the herpevac vaccine.  It's closing up it's phase 3 trials. It offered no significant protection for males at all.

grace
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Avatar_f_tn
Nicely said, grace.

And by the way, herpes is not the only thing you should be testing for. Your partner deserves to have a full screen panel STD test from you, including HIV, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and herpes -1 and -2. Actually, you both deserve it from one another.

"I don't think I have it" in my book is code for "I'm terrified of finding out what I might have." Testing can bring up all sorts of feelings, including making many folks question some of the sexual behaviors they've engaged in in their past.

One of the best arguments for getting tested is, like grace said, the cost of medication. I'm a person who doesn't use medication unless I have a negative partner. The reason is because  I don't have enough episodes to make the inconvenience of medication worth my effort. So I need to know if my partner already has type 2, because if he does, I won't be taking (and therefore paying for) medication.

Really, saying you "think you don't have it" is one  of the lamest excuses given for not getting tested. Doesn't your partner deserve better than that? Respect her health enough to go and do it, even if you don't care what you have or don't have.
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Avatar_f_tn
I also never bought the "I hate condoms" line. We're at the Millennium here and unless you've been living under a rock, you are well aware of how effective condoms are in protecting your health and therefore not dissing them out-of-hand.

Men who say "I hate condoms" generally are very naive and uninformed about condoms in general. There are many different condom manufacturers and types of condoms available, and it won't cost you too much to try different brands and find one that fits. Google "condom depot" and take a look at their website. A condom should not constrict you to the point that you find it uncomfortable, and it might take a little time to find one that fits your particular anatomy. Make sure you also know how to put it on and take it off. If you are well-endowed, they make them for your size, girth, and length. If you like a "naked" feeling, they've got those too. Check out the "Top 10" at the condom depot website for some of these options.

Once you find a brand and size that is comfortable for you, you won't be so down on wearing them.
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