Partner has oral HSV and possible outbreak.

[ptw]

Hiya

My partner has had hsv-1 (on lip) since she was a child :- but upto now no outbreaks for 2 years, its a fairly new relationship and with distance we see each other fri, sat, sunday at the moment. I may or may not have HSV1 ive never had sores.

Today she told me she 'may have a coldsore trying to come through'

im guessing this is the prodrome stage?

I know about shedding, and i know theres a small risk even when no coldsores are present and decided to take that risk.

However im a bit confused about risks when she has a coldsore present

I know obviously no oral sex, or kissing

dont share glasses etc (i dont anyway)

but, other practical things i dont know, id be grateful for info on?
Im wary about probing her too much, as my reaction when she told me the first time wasnt great and i dont want to make her paranoid.

How long does prodrome last?. I know she doesnt use meds, if theres no OB or the feeling stops in the next 2 or 3 days is it unlikely to be an outbreak?

Assuming there is an outbreak, and we stay together for the weekend, are there risks from sharing a bed?. Towelling we dont share anyway, but normal things, naked cuddling, (head on chest etc) are they safe?. I dont know if they can spread to chest etc.

Or if theres a real risk of genital herpes from the virus spreading off her hands for instance.


I really dont want to make a deal of it, it isnt a big deal!, i just want to avoid catching it.

Cheers.

[gracefromHHP]

You can not contract herpes from towels, doorknobs etc.  It takes heat and friction to transmit the virus and I don't think you are doing that sort of stuff with door knobs. If you are - I can refer you to another board for help with that fetish...he he he

You aren' t going to get hsv1 from her touching her cold sore and then touching your body. It's really just not that easy to transmit.

These aren't daft questions - no one ever takes the time to properly educate us on this incredibly common virus so we do have questions about it as well as tend to believe all the bs that some folks say about it online who aren't properly educated themselves.  

grace

[ptw]

thanks for taking the time to reply grace, and apologies for the double post earlier.

I agree i should get tested, and dont want to make a fuss, so really trying to get educated as there is so much conflicting info is online

I guess the big concern is accidental transmission, for instance ive read
that towels, soap, even doorknobs etc can keep the virus, and other sites
saying it needs Direct contact with the blister which i think is what your saying.

If i can trouble you with last question:- if she touched her coldsore with her finger without realising it, then a few mins later touched me on my body with it, odds are it wouldnt be a risk?


Sorry for asking what are probably daft questions, thanks again

[gracefromHHP]

As long as her lips aren't touching you, there isn't a risk. Just her head laying on your chest isn't an issue. It takes heat and friction to transmit the virus so unless she romantically kissing you, giving you oral sex or sucking on your nipples or something, it's not an issue.  

At this point you need to get yourself tested to see if you even have to be this worried or not. Most adults do have hsv1 orally though only 20-40% of them ever get obvious cold sores to know it.  Very few of us get thru life without it. Statistically 1 out of every 2-3 people you've ever kissed before or were intimate had it. Don't make this be an issue just because you know she has it plus she was honest with you about it.

grace