Please help me do the right thing

I have known for a year that I have HSV2 although I have no idea how I contracted it.  I have had approx 6-7 outbreaks which have grown less severe.  I do not take antivirals but will be starting soon.  I have only had 2 partners my entire life and am heartbroken over this diagnosis.  My question is this - If I am taking an antiviral regularly and never am intimate during a breakout, can someone still perform oral sex on me with little risk of transmission, or am I now doomed to a life without this sexual act?? (the only place I ever break out is on the skin above my genital area, never on my labia) Please give me the realistic odds - I'm literally crying as I write this because I am finally free from an unhappy marriage and want to have a relationship again, however I am so shamed and so distraught that I may not be able to enjoy the acts I want in my sexual relationship.  Also, can I pass genital herpes by performing oral sex on a man??  I tested negative for HSV1 oral herpes. Please answer.

[yi3o8]

You giving oral should be fine. Antivirals should minimize any outbreaks and viral shedding. The infection is manageable, but does take a few lifestyle changes. Luckily, you don't have to give up on sex as long as you're responsible. Telling your partners of the risk will help to alleviate your worrying.

[gracefromHHP]

I'm going to assume that you are female.

If you are hsv2+ and have a hsv2- male partner and do nothing but avoid sex anytime you have any obvious genital symptoms, their risk of contracting hsv2 from you is 4% on average in an entire year. if you take daily suppressive therapy with valtrex and avoid sex during symptoms as well as use condoms properly, he has a 1% risk of contracting hsv2 from you in an entire year.

You performing oral sex isn't a risk. Your partner has a small risk of contracting hsv2 orally from performing oral on you but being on suppressive therapy makes that risk even smaller. it's something to discuss with your potential partners and decide together if it's worth having protected oral sex or not.

The herpes handbook and patient counseling video at www.westoverheights.com are terrific and free resources to learn more at. I also highly recommend Terri warren's book "the good news about the bad news" if you don't mind spending $15 for it on amazon.  Educate yourself so that you can manage your herpes and have a full and satisfying sex life :)

keep asking questions as you have them !

grace