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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.

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Please help

Ok, in 2001 I saw my family Dr for having pain around my anus. He did an exam and said I had hemroids and gave me cream. I used it but a few days later as in so much pain I went to the emergency and he said "do you like to have anal sex because you have anal herpes". But I very rarely had anal sex with my husband, we had been married for  two years and he doesn't have herpes. The emerg dr said that the hemroid cream had made it worse. Anyway he gave me a prescription and a few days later I felt better. My husband and I continued to have unprotected sex and he has never gotten herpes. When I was pregnant with my second son I saw my OB and told her about what the emerg dr said because if you have herpes when pregnant you need to protect the baby. She did an exam and said it didn't look like herpes that it looked like sclerosis of the skin. Remember, my husband I had sex for years and  he never got it. So do I have herpes or sclerosis? Anyway, since then my husband and I have separated and on the weekend I had a threesome with my friend and a guy we met and I had what felt like a cut near my anus and now I'm freaking out. We didn't have anal sex and i don't think that area was touched especially by her. My Mom said that it's harder for men to get herpes from a woman. Is that true? If I really have anal herpes could I have infected them? Please help. I feel sick, I can't eat or sleep.
18 Comments Post a Comment
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1549204_tn?1353365273
The emergency doctor didn't take a culture test of it?
Anyone with HSV-2 can have anal blisters of what I've read on the internet.  I believe if the virus started there, then that is where your outbreaks will occur.  
Women are able to get the virus more than men, that is true.
And if you had anal herpes, then yes, you could have infected them.
The only way to be sure if you have hsv-2 is to be tested. If you have any open sores right now, get a culture done before it heals.  
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Avatar_f_tn
If I did have herpes what is the likelihood in a percentage that they could have contacted it even if that area wasn't touched? I don't know what to do.
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101028_tn?1348750963
when herpes sheds, it sheds from the area of actual symptoms as well as from the entire anogenital area. You don't have to have anal sex to transmit nor do you have to have anal sex to have herpes symptoms in the anal area.

so what should you be doing at this point? Well for starters, it's time for you to confirm your herpes status for once and for all. A visual diagnosis of herpes is inadequate. did you ever have more testing for herpes, especially during your pregnancy?

was your most recent encounter protected sex with all your partners?

grace
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Avatar_f_tn
No it wasn't protected. The place that felt like it was cut does not now. It only hurt for a couple of days. I have never been tested. I heard that the blood test for simplex 2 is $130 and I don't have that. Does that mean for sure they are infected?? If what I do have is herpes how come my husband never got it?? Omg...I am so upset. Do I tell them or do I wait to see if they show symptoms?? I don't know what to do.
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101028_tn?1348750963
unless your husband was tested for herpes, you can't assume that he doesn't have herpes.

since you had unprotected sex, you also need to cover your full std testing bases at the proper times.  you can get tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea and trich any time after 1 week post encounter. syphilis after 6 weeks. herpes, hiv and hepatitis after 3 months. we don't have commercially available testing for hpv to cover that base properly.

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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you Grace. Do you know what the statistic is for contacting herpes from a person who is "shedding". Is there a chance that they will be ok??  
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you Grace. Do you know what the statistic is for contacting herpes from a person who is "shedding". Is there a chance that they will be ok??  
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101028_tn?1348750963
if active symptoms are present during the encounter, the risk of transmission is high. some studies estimate it around 75% risk of transmission.

get tested to know your status and go from there.
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Avatar_f_tn
Last question. Is it actually harder for a man to contract than for a woman ?
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101028_tn?1348750963
being a male wouldn't lower the risk when active symptoms present.

it's a darn shame your providers have all dropped the ball all this time and never properly followed up on this for you so that you had better answers before this :(  

in the future, always protect yourself and only have protected sexual contact - not worth the risk of a std from unprotected sexual contact!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you Grace. It is unfortunate that this has happened. I won't know anything until I get a proper test done. I truly hope they are ok. There is no sense in scaring them unnecessaryily until I know anything for sure but the guilt is eating me alive so much so I can't eat or sleep and it's all I've been thinking about.
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101028_tn?1348750963
understandable!  Get the type specific herpes igg blood testing done after the holiday and start covering your bases to protect yourself from std's you might've contracted from your most recent encounter.
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Avatar_f_tn
So I am trying to not get too excited but I went to get a swab of my suspected area today. When the Dr looked at it she said it looked nothing like a herpes blister that it looked like a lateral cut. She took a swab anyway. So now I just have to wait for the results! Fingers crossed :). I feel like a can breath again....at least for a little while.
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101028_tn?1348750963
did they also do igg blood testing or just a swab of the symptoms?
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Avatar_f_tn
Just the swab.
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101028_tn?1348750963
you also need to seek out a type specific herpes igg blood test to see what your status is.
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Avatar_f_tn
If you contract herpes on your genitals from someone's cold sore, then I guess you have hsv-1. Can you spread that to someone else's genitals?? I'm confused.
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101028_tn?1348750963
yes and yes
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